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And on a related note, I’d like to address those readers who are parents.  Please be aware that when you try to control your children’s lives you are only causing them pain in one way or another.  So many of my clients are suffering from eating disorders because their mothers or fathers were so controlling that they felt the need to take control in an unhealthy manner.  Don’t let your children fall into the same trap!  Additionally, children whose parents make all their decisions or try to fix all their problems, never learn how to cope.  It might be simpler for you right now, but ask yourself this: Do you really want a 30-year-old son or daughter who needs you to make all the decisions?  Controlling parents bring up dependent and needy children.

Back to food.  When our bodies are satiated our minds are better able to cope with life.  Think about the days in which you don’t take time to eat.  Are you cranky, tired and irritable?  Make it your business to eat three healthy meals a day and your mood will be better. That is because your body needs the vitamins and nutrients found in fruits and vegetables; it needs the protein as well to help you think and negotiate.

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Studies have shown that people who think about their food all day are the one’s who eat the most.  Interestingly enough, studies have shown that when people are on diets, they look to eat more, because it’s what they are thinking about.

Now, for some people, food really equals love. Something was missing in their childhood, some sort of comfort or security and food is what they learned to substitute for it. If you are one of these people, please realize that food is not going to solve your problems.  Strive to overcome this feeling of emptiness with hobbies, projects and ideas to help others.

As a psychotherapist who is trained in hypnosis, I have had some success using hypnosis for weight loss, but the person has to be very motivated.  It is something to consider.

Thank you again for such an insightful letter.

Hatzlocha!     

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Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to deardryael@aol.com. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.

2 COMMENTS

  1. I'd like to see an effort from health care providers to deal with the physiological aspects of obesity in their clients. I think it's cruel to deny the basic hunger that a lot of overweight people feel and intimate that it is purely a psychological response.

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