The idea that you need to focus more on kids, work or friends than on your marriage is an excuse for running away from having an exceptional marriage. You didn’t marry to be absorbed by everything else, but your marriage. You’ll never lose anything from any other part of your life when you make your marriage your priority. Obviously, you may have less time for your kids today if you go out to dinner alone with your spouse. But you will be offering your kids a supremely better parent upon your return. Start at the top — the love in your marriage — and allow that intense love to flow into the rest of your life.
RABBI NEUMAN is a Florida licensed psychotherapist and author of two books, Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce the Sandcastles Way (Random House) and Emotional Infidelity, How to Affair-proof Your Marriage and Other Secrets to a Great Relationship (Crown). He and his work have been featured many times on The Oprah Show, Today, The View and in People, Time and elsewhere. He lives with his wife and five children in Miami Beach, Florida. For more information on his work, visit www.mgaryneuman.com or e-mail changingfam firstname.lastname@example.org.