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Practice positive reinforcement as much as possible. For example, you can use cozy time as a reward, so bedtime becomes more enjoyable. Say something like “I really want to cozy up with you tonight, so please take a shower right away so we have time to do so. I will be very sad if we can’t cozy up tonight, so please hurry.” This will send a message to your son that he must listen to you or he won’t receive a reward. But the message is being sent in a loving and positive manner instead of being done so punitively. Hatzlachah with your efforts!

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Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to deardryael@aol.com. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.