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Criticizing While Respecting

Respler-072012

I wish you hatzlachah in raising your children!

Dear Dr. Yael:

I appreciated your column, Improving One’s Mood (Dear Dr. Yael, 7-6), about helping your husband be more positive with the children. When my husband read that column, he tearfully asked, “Do I really come across like this [not positive] to our children?” I told him that while I know that he loves our children, he in fact does come across like this to them and that they make comments like, “We better hurry up, Abba is coming home.” This is often said in fear.

You would not believe the positive change in our home since this column appeared in The Jewish Press. The column’s contents have had a profound affect on our home. One night my husband came home in an uncharacteristically positive mood – with treats for the kids.

This past Shabbos was amazing. My husband complimented each child in such a nice fashion. This thrilled them, and accordingly they behaved better than ever. I know it is difficult to be certain that this change will last, but please be assured that this particular column has helped us greatly.

Thank you in general for writing your column and specifically for the wonderful Improving One’s Mood column. It has greatly influenced the atmosphere in our home.

A Fan

Dear Fan:

Thank you for your letter. People usually comment about a column when they are upset with it or disagree with an idea in the piece. While I receive some positive columns, few are as specific as yours. The time you spent writing this letter really means a lot to me. I wish you continued hatzlachah, and don’t forget that if your husband slips back to his old ways, remind him gently to return to his new and better ways.

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