web analytics
October 26, 2014 / 2 Heshvan, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
Meir Panim with Soldiers 5774 Roundup: Year of Relief and Service for Israel’s Needy

Meir Panim implements programs that serve Israel’s neediest populations with respect and dignity. Meir Panim also coordinated care packages for families in the South during the Gaza War.



Demanding Family Equity

Respler-011813

Dr. Yael, while I love your column, please change your answer after rereading the letter from Frustrated and Overwhelmed. All of my siblings and their spouses agree with me. You have no idea how much onas devarim your column on onas devarim caused me – from my own parents, no less! With great respect, I do not mean to sound nasty when I repeat that this time you missed the mark. Please respond ASAP.

A Frustrated Older Sister

Dear Frustrated Older Sister:

I am truly sorry if this column caused you any pain. My intention was to have the older sister try to get her younger sister to change in a positive way. As most people do not respond well to criticism, the one on the receiving end is more likely to do what needs to be done after being given positive reinforcement.

I see your point, and never dreamed that parents would use my column on onas devarim against any of their children. Families need to be treated like the very fragile entities that they are; thus, you are correct that all angles should have been explored before I replied.

Of course, the younger sister in the original letter was not acting the right way. But please remember that it is hard to change. The goal was that the younger sister would feel special as a result of her older sister’s praise and would then want to do more around the house. This did not mean, chas v’shalom, that the older sister was to blame for making the younger sister feel bad! To the contrary, my advice was a suggested technique for the older sister to use for the purpose of getting her younger sister to be more helpful.

Please accept my apology. I hope that you are able, with the utmost derech eretz, to get your parents to understand that the household chores should be allocated more fairly. Hatzlachah!

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Demanding Family Equity”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Terrorists attack Israeli soldiers with a Molotov cocktail in Arab village near Ramallah.
Palestinian Authority-American Shot Dead while Trying to Kill Jews
Latest Sections Stories
Nimchinsky-102414-Flag

Over the course of the next couple of weeks we were planning our daily schedule by the minute. At any second we would have to change our plans. It was understood by everyone on the bus that this was not the normal agenda for the summer, but we still managed to have a ridiculous amount […]

Schonfeld-logo1

Avromi often put other people’s interests before his own: he would not defend people whom he believed were guilty (even if they were willing to pay him a lot of money).

Kupfer-102414

The Presbyterian Church USA voted to divest from three companies that do business with Israel.

How can I help my wife learn to say “no,” and understand that her first priority must be her husband and family?

My eyes skimmed an article on page 1A. I was flabbergasted. I read the title again. Could it be? It had good news for the Miami Jewish community.

Students in early childhood, elementary, and middle school were treated to an array of hands-on projects to create sukkah decorations such as wind chimes, velvet posters, sand art, paper chains, and more.

It is important for a therapist to focus on a person’s strengths as a way of overcoming his or her difficulties.

Sadly, there are mothers who, due to severe depression are unable or unwilling to prepare nourishing food for their children.

Michal had never been away from home. And now, she was going so far away, for so long – an entire year!

Though if you do have a schach mat, you’ll realize that it cannot actually support the weight of the water.

More Articles from Dr. Yael Respler
Respler-logo-NEW

How can I help my wife learn to say “no,” and understand that her first priority must be her husband and family?

Respler-101014

It is important for a therapist to focus on a person’s strengths as a way of overcoming his or her difficulties.

I went to camp for many years. We cleaned our own bunks and did not have air conditioning.

“I would really love my mother-in-law …if she weren’t my mother-in-law.”

Not enjoying saying no, I often succumbed to requests viewing them as demands I couldn’t refuse.

It’s fair to say that we all know or have someone in our family who is divorced.

I recently met a wonderful woman who writes poetry. With her permission, I am sharing a poem she wrote about time.

What can we do to help him stop feeling so sad all the time?

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/demanding-family-equity/2013/01/17/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: