web analytics
April 26, 2015 / 7 Iyar, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Demanding Family Equity

Respler-011813

Dr. Yael, while I love your column, please change your answer after rereading the letter from Frustrated and Overwhelmed. All of my siblings and their spouses agree with me. You have no idea how much onas devarim your column on onas devarim caused me – from my own parents, no less! With great respect, I do not mean to sound nasty when I repeat that this time you missed the mark. Please respond ASAP.

A Frustrated Older Sister

Dear Frustrated Older Sister:

I am truly sorry if this column caused you any pain. My intention was to have the older sister try to get her younger sister to change in a positive way. As most people do not respond well to criticism, the one on the receiving end is more likely to do what needs to be done after being given positive reinforcement.

I see your point, and never dreamed that parents would use my column on onas devarim against any of their children. Families need to be treated like the very fragile entities that they are; thus, you are correct that all angles should have been explored before I replied.

Of course, the younger sister in the original letter was not acting the right way. But please remember that it is hard to change. The goal was that the younger sister would feel special as a result of her older sister’s praise and would then want to do more around the house. This did not mean, chas v’shalom, that the older sister was to blame for making the younger sister feel bad! To the contrary, my advice was a suggested technique for the older sister to use for the purpose of getting her younger sister to be more helpful.

Please accept my apology. I hope that you are able, with the utmost derech eretz, to get your parents to understand that the household chores should be allocated more fairly. Hatzlachah!

About the Author: Letters may be emailed to deardryael@aol.com. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Demanding Family Equity”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
President Obama
The Gap between Fairness and Safety: WMDs in Iraq and Iran
Latest Sections Stories
Food-Talk---Eller-logo

“People who never buy cookbooks are getting this one,” said Victoria. “They read it cover to cover and find it so interesting.”

South-Florida-logo

We have recently witnessed how other minorities deal with even perceived danger aimed at their brothers and sisters. They respond in great numbers.

South-Florida-logo

The Hebrew Academy students took part in all categories and used successful and innovative techniques to achieve their goals.

“The objective behind establishing small communities as places for relocation was a remedy for the excessive cost of housing and education in the large New York metropolitan market,” Mr. Savitsky explained.

Jewish Democrats did not entirely trust the son of Joseph Kennedy, a man broadly considered to be both anti-Semitic and pro-Nazi.

The teenage years are not about surviving. They are about thriving.

Every moment was a gift. I held each one, savoring.

We arrived in Auschwitz on Thursday, January 30, 2014. My seminary was taking us to see where the prisoners were kept. When we got there, I stepped off the bus in complete and total silence. I was in the back, and when we got to the gate I hesitated and started shaking uncontrollably. I couldn’t […]

From the moment Israel was declared a Jewish state, it has been the subject of controversy and struggle.

Now that Pesach is over, we return you to your regularly-scheduled pressing questions:   Dear Mordechai, Can I use a nose hair trimmer during Sefirah? Harry Lipman   Dear Harry, Yes, as long as your nose hairs are so bad that they’re affecting your job. Like if you have a desk job, and they interfere […]

It is very natural for kids to want attention and to be jealous of each other, especially when there is a new baby.

During the Second World War, a million and a half Jewish soldiers fought in the Allied armies, the Partisan units in Eastern Europe, and the anti-fascist underground movements in Western Europe and North Africa. These Jewish fighters won over 200,000 medals and citations. The Museum of the Jewish Soldier in World War II in Latrun, […]

The 2-day real estate event will take place in Brooklyn on April 26 and 27.

More Articles from Dr. Yael Respler
Respler-041715

It is very natural for kids to want attention and to be jealous of each other, especially when there is a new baby.

Respler-040315

How can you expect people who go through such gehenom to even know how to give warmth and love?

Isn’t therapy about being yourself; aren’t there different ways for people to communicate with each other?

I believe that Hashem will only bring Moshiach when we finally achieve achdus.

I love my husband dearly and I do everything to make him happy.

Men and women have different roles to play in marriages and as parents.

The husband needs to make some changes!

Whenever he did anything loving for me, I made a big deal about it.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/demanding-family-equity/2013/01/17/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: