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If you become more positive, you will relish life more and everyone will enjoy spending time with you. It is not easy for you to change behavior patterns at your age, but sometimes a life crisis such as losing your husband can be an impetus to improve yourself.

I am not certain that you are indeed too critical. I am simply basing my answer on the remarks that those who love you are sharing with you. May Hashem comfort you in this time of great loss, and I wish you hatzlachah in dealing with this difficult situation!

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Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to deardryael@aol.com. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.