Latest update: June 25th, 2012
This conversation will probably be more successful if you stay away from the blame game and try to stick to the problem at hand. Getting nowhere is not an option because you need to get sleep in order to function properly. You did not mention your daytime schedule, so I am not sure that the idea of napping during the day is an option. Maybe your husband is willing to pay for a babysitter, so you can get some much- needed sleep in the morning when the kids are in school. Or perhaps you can sleep in, and have your husband or a helper get the children off to school in the morning. If you have no choice regarding the vasikin minyan, you need to look into other, feasible time periods to sleep. Can you go to sleep earlier? If you work, can you sleep for an hour or so when you get home? None of these possibilities are foolproof solutions, but if your husband will continue to daven vasikin, he needs to understand that he should be flexible with you and make sure that you either do not get woken up when he does or you get the opportunity to make up some of that sleep at another time. Either way, remember that you will gain much more with a calm voice and with the aforementioned “I feel…” messages. Hatzlachah!Dr. Yael Respler
About the Author: Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to firstname.lastname@example.org. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.
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