web analytics
April 27, 2015 / 8 Iyar, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Making Peace With Your Mother-In-Law

Respler-052512

Try not to be confrontational, as that will defeat the point of the conversation and will likely make your in-laws feel defensive. If this happens, they may continue to act in the same inappropriate manner. When disagreeing with your mother-in-law, consider saying, “Is it possible, Mom…?” (Halachically, this is the correct way to speak.) Something else you might say: “We always enjoyed a close and caring relationship. I was hurt about the situations that occurred. Is something deeper bothering you? These situations never happened before and I want to understand them. They are unlike what would have taken place in our previous relationship. I want to go back to our old relationship.”

Since you seem to portray your in-laws as typically having a good relationship with you, they will likely understand and apologize to you as well. It is a shame to let a good relationship go sour over several misunderstandings. If you can be the bigger person, hopefully this rift will be repaired and you will feel some validation in the process. This will be difficult to do, but you will gain much more in the long run.

I do not know if you might have inadvertently done something to hurt your mother-in-law that she is not telling you about, but is instead acting out her frustration over this – to your detriment. If this is the case, she will hopefully feel better after you demonstrate to her during the course of your conversation that you care about her. The fact that you shared a good relationship prior to these two situations bodes well for the healing of your relationship.

Remember to use the “I feel” message and to speak in a soft tone. If you feel that you can’t do this alone, seek assistance from a competent therapist or rav. Hatzlachah!

About the Author: Letters may be emailed to deardryael@aol.com. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Making Peace With Your Mother-In-Law”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Princeton University students voted down an Israel Divestment referendum in April, 2015.
Inside Look at Princeton’s Israel Divestment Failure
Latest Sections Stories
Food-Talk---Eller-logo

“People who never buy cookbooks are getting this one,” said Victoria. “They read it cover to cover and find it so interesting.”

South-Florida-logo

We have recently witnessed how other minorities deal with even perceived danger aimed at their brothers and sisters. They respond in great numbers.

South-Florida-logo

The Hebrew Academy students took part in all categories and used successful and innovative techniques to achieve their goals.

“The objective behind establishing small communities as places for relocation was a remedy for the excessive cost of housing and education in the large New York metropolitan market,” Mr. Savitsky explained.

Jewish Democrats did not entirely trust the son of Joseph Kennedy, a man broadly considered to be both anti-Semitic and pro-Nazi.

The teenage years are not about surviving. They are about thriving.

Every moment was a gift. I held each one, savoring.

We arrived in Auschwitz on Thursday, January 30, 2014. My seminary was taking us to see where the prisoners were kept. When we got there, I stepped off the bus in complete and total silence. I was in the back, and when we got to the gate I hesitated and started shaking uncontrollably. I couldn’t […]

From the moment Israel was declared a Jewish state, it has been the subject of controversy and struggle.

Now that Pesach is over, we return you to your regularly-scheduled pressing questions:   Dear Mordechai, Can I use a nose hair trimmer during Sefirah? Harry Lipman   Dear Harry, Yes, as long as your nose hairs are so bad that they’re affecting your job. Like if you have a desk job, and they interfere […]

It is very natural for kids to want attention and to be jealous of each other, especially when there is a new baby.

During the Second World War, a million and a half Jewish soldiers fought in the Allied armies, the Partisan units in Eastern Europe, and the anti-fascist underground movements in Western Europe and North Africa. These Jewish fighters won over 200,000 medals and citations. The Museum of the Jewish Soldier in World War II in Latrun, […]

The 2-day real estate event will take place in Brooklyn on April 26 and 27.

More Articles from Dr. Yael Respler
Respler-041715

It is very natural for kids to want attention and to be jealous of each other, especially when there is a new baby.

Respler-040315

How can you expect people who go through such gehenom to even know how to give warmth and love?

Isn’t therapy about being yourself; aren’t there different ways for people to communicate with each other?

I believe that Hashem will only bring Moshiach when we finally achieve achdus.

I love my husband dearly and I do everything to make him happy.

Men and women have different roles to play in marriages and as parents.

The husband needs to make some changes!

Whenever he did anything loving for me, I made a big deal about it.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/making-peace-with-your-mother-in-law/2012/05/24/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: