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Marital Connection Plan (Second Of Two Parts)


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Ideas for Dating Fun: Following are some ideas for dating fun – doing or learning – that you can find (even in some “boring” towns). Look for classes in some of these areas at your local school or college.

Cooking/baking (really fun and sensual); Cake decorating; Dancing; Massaging; Bicycling; Boating; Fishing; Playing instruments; Listening to music – going to a music store and listening to CD’s together – find “our song”; Art/painting; Photography; Swinging on swings at the park; Drinking cocktails at a club – learn how to make them together (with or without alcohol) at home; Creating with clay; Swimming; Walking; Playing a sport (where both of you are equally talented); Planting a garden; Writing a short story together; Reading; Going to a comedy club (ask in advance how clean the jokes are); Visiting a bookstore; Flying a kite; Eating ice cream or snow cones; Playing board games; Roller blading; Buying a camera, and enlisting strangers to take an entire roll of pictures of the two of you on your date night.

Getting to Know You: On your date night, use the following two lists to take a “crash course” to learn about your spouse. Each person can ask two questions from each list.

Getting to Know Where You’ve Been: Who was your closest childhood friend?; What was your favorite adventure or act of mischief?; Who was your favorite teacher and why?; Who was your worst teacher and why?; What is one of your saddest memories?; What is one of your happiest memories?; What was your favorite holiday? Explain.; Who was your most loved pet and what did you love about that pet?; Where were the most exciting places you’ve been and what was so wonderful about them?

Getting to Know Where You Are Today: What was your high and low of the day?; What are your dreams and wishes?; Name three qualities you like the most about yourself.; What is romantic?; What is passionate?; Name one thing you’d change about yourself.; You could feel closer to me if I…; Describe your perfect day…; Where’s the place you want to visit the most and why?; If you were an animal, you’d be a… Explain.

This connection plan is meant to encourage the two of you to gaze into each other’s eyes and speak of your undying love for each other. If that seems like an impossible goal, remember that it doesn’t happen just by speaking the words on cue. It comes with the ease of relating to each other. That ease begins and ends with time spent together and can take a while

RABBI NEUMAN is a Florida licensed psychotherapist and author of two books, Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce the Sandcastles Way (Random House) and Emotional Infidelity, How to Affair-proof Your Marriage and Other Secrets to a Great Relationship (Crown). He and his work have been featured many times on The Oprah Show, Today, The View and in People, Time and elsewhere. He lives with his wife and five children in Miami Beach, Florida. For more information on his work, visit www.mgaryneuman.com or e-mail changingfamilies@mgaryneuman.com.

About the Author: M. Gary Neuman is a psychotherapist, rabbi, and New York Times best-selling author. He is the creator of NeumanMethod.com video programs for marriages and parenting.


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