When you want to go out or have company, you can say something like this to your husband: “I know that it is hard for you when we have people over, but it would really mean a lot to me if we can have company this week.” Or “I know that you do not enjoy going out, but I had a very stressful week and it would make me so happy if we go out this Motzaei Shabbos.” This will help make your husband feel understood and, at the same time, appreciative for your efforts at showing sensitivity toward him. Also, he will likely feel less resentful toward you.
While employing this strategy, ask your husband to act and speak in a reciprocal manner toward you. It is only fair that you feel understood and appreciated as well. Hatzlachah!Dr. Yael Respler
About the Author: Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to firstname.lastname@example.org. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.
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