In short, both of you must make every effort to radically alter the way you speak with each other. Use gentle phrases like, “Is it possible for you to help me this afternoon?” or, if your daughter asks you for something, say, “Sure, I will do it with pleasure.” This will help teach your children the proper way to talk – not just to you, but to everyone they come in contact with. Remember that your children learn from your actions.
In addition, make an effort to spend more time with your daughter, as this will help cultivate a better mutual relationship.
The greatest chance of success in improving your relationship with your daughter is by keeping the lines of communication open. Remember that while an improved connection with your daughter is obviously important to both of you, it will also help her deal with future challenges that will inevitably arise.
May your daughter continue to give you and your husband much nachas. Hatzlachah!Dr. Yael Respler
About the Author: Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to firstname.lastname@example.org. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.
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