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Jacob vs Esau, I Am God’s Chosen, Not You!
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Marriage and Relationships
Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: April 23rd, 2008

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

A few years ago I was invited to be a guest on a talk show. An interesting question came up from a young man who wanted some information on the topic of in-laws. He wanted to know if I had ever known of a couple divorcing because of their in-laws. My response was that although divorced people may blame the in-laws for the marriage failure, in most cases this does not happen directly, but indirectly- YES!

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: February 13th, 2008

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

The ability to maintain a pleasant and peaceful relationship with in-laws is of the greatest importance for the young couple entering marriage. The more you understand the in-law relationship, the more likely you will achieve happiness in marriage.

Blended-Family-logo
 

Posted on: February 13th, 2008

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

As the Mom of a large blended family I am regularly asked, "How do you guys do it?" How do you keep this family going with all of the ups and downs, all of the challenges that go along with being parents of eight children including several who have different combinations of parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents? Well, to tell you the truth it isn't easy and there are days that I ask myself the same question.

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: October 2nd, 2007

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Moishe, I am writing to you because frankly, I just don't know where else to turn at this point. I know that statement makes it sound as if I have been married for years, but the truth is I have only been married for six months, and the changes that are taking place are scary.

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: June 5th, 2007

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

In marriage, money tends to mean different things to different people. Unfortunately, for some, money repre­sents more than economic security. It becomes a symbol for CPR — Control, Power and (self) Respect.

1
Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: January 10th, 2007

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

I teach a graduate course in trauma and family crisis. The question most often asked by students is, "Why are there so many families in crisis compared to the families our parents grew up in?" Whenever changes in a support system occur, making it no longer secure and defined, our ability to cope, adapt and problem-solve will be impaired.

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: August 30th, 2006

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

When my nephew Chaim was three-years old, he used to have nose bleeds quite often - so often, that he had a procedure done in the doctor's office to stop the constant nosebleeds. It worked, but he walked around the house saying, "Something hurts and I don't know! Something hurts and I don't know!" My brother Sol said at that moment, "Chaim your nose hurts! - Oh yes, my nose hurts!" Now that he was aware of what was bothering him, he felt so much better.

Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary
 

Posted on: June 7th, 2006

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Mordechai, When I decided to get a divorce, I resolved early on to take the high road. Whenever my children are in earshot, I am careful to refer to my ex in only posi­tive terms. I stick to blame-free explanations for why my marriage ended, and keep my venting phone chats with my sister, late at night, when the kids are asleep. It hasn’t been easy, and no I’m not perfect. I’ve slipped here and there, but overall, I’ve protected my children from the fallout of my feelings. Last weekend, though, my daughter returned from her mother’s house and said, “I know why you and Mommy divorced. It’s be­cause you lied to her!” Guess what? It’s not the first time. I’ve spoken to her about it, and she only defends her behavior; I don’t think she’ll ever change. Now what? (Answer, continued from last week)

Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary
 

Posted on: May 31st, 2006

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Mordechai, When I decided to get a divorce, I resolved early on to take the high road. Whenever my children are in earshot, I am careful to refer to my ex in only positive terms. I’ve stuck to blame-free explanations for why my marriage ended and keep my venting phone chats with my sister to late at night when my kids are asleep. It hasn’t been easy, and no, I’m not perfect. I’ve slipped here and there, but overall, I’ve protected my children from the fallout of my feelings. Last weekend, though, my daughter returned from her mother’s house and said, “I know why you and Mommy divorced. It’s because you lied to her!” Guess what? It’s not the first time. I’ve spoken to her about it, and she only defends her behavior so I don’t think my ex will ever change. Now what?

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: May 10th, 2006

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Q: Dear Moishe : Why do some couples need marital counseling and others do not ? A: I have been asked this question many times in many e-mails. The answer has a Part A and Part B sequence, so let me begin with an introduction taken from the T.E.A.M. (Torah Education and Awareness for a […]

Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary
 

Posted on: May 3rd, 2006

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Are you the kind of spouse that dominates your partner by finding everything “major”? Consider the following to help you have some insight into whether this description is true of you or your spouse:

Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary
 

Posted on: April 26th, 2006

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Although in my past columns I’ve discussed the importance of inviting differences into life in or­der to grow through seeing other perspectives, there is a good reason to limit discussion of your dif­ferences when it comes to making decisions. There are very few decisions in life worth fighting for.

Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary
 

Posted on: April 19th, 2006

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

I know that most people will look at the list below and ask, “C’mon, who does this kind of thing in their marriage?” The answer is, couples that want to be happily married and fight less.

Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary
 

Posted on: April 12th, 2006

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Partnership doesn’t mean equality in skill. It means equality in responsibility and ownership. Show me business partners who have to meet about every single decision and hash it out until they both agree on a course of action, and I will show you bankruptcy proceedings.

Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary
 

Posted on: April 5th, 2006

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Mordechai, With Pesach almost here, my husband and I have been fighting more than ever. We’re having big sedarim and are fighting over everything, from which Haggadas to use to what to expect from our differently-aged children. This frustration has caused me to finally write to you what I’ve wanted to write for months. I don’t want to be told what to do because I’m the woman or mother...

Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary
 

Posted on: March 1st, 2006

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Mordechai, Our marriage has gotten stale. It’s not that we don’t love each other but with the kids and everything else there seems to never be any time for my husband and me. I’m sure we’re not the only ones but we need some real help. What can we do and how can we go about making time for our marriage. Everyone says just make time but that never seems to work.

Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary
 

Posted on: February 22nd, 2006

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Mordechai, Our marriage has gotten stale. It’s not that we don’t love each other, but with the kids and everything else there seems to never be any time for my husband and me. I’m sure we’re not the only ones but we need some real help. What can we do and how can we go about making time for our marriage. Everyone says “just make time” but that never seems to work.

Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary
 

Posted on: February 1st, 2006

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Mordechai, This is my first marriage and my wife’s second. She was left during her first marriage and things are now going pretty well with us. But I feel that, after four years, I still don’t know her that well. We spend time together, but not nearly as much as I’d like. She’s very independent and says all that mushy stuff and deep sharing is for teenagers, not mature adults...

Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary
 

Posted on: January 18th, 2006

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Mordechai, My wife has read your articles and books. It sounds so nice to be able to put one’s marriage first. But let’s be real. I have a job, kids, minyanim to catch and daf yomi shiurim to attend. My wife and I are stressed over money. Who isn’t? Don’t you think you’re causing unrealistic expectations for marriages when you say, “put your marriage first?” How much can I work at my marriage when everything else is going on? Shouldn’t the work in my life be what I’m supposed to be doing, namely to make my marriage financially viable? Maybe there are times in a marriage that you shouldn’t expect to be so “in love.” My marriage won’t be happy if I’m broke.

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