Dear Dr. Yael

When you spend special, alone time with your daughter and give her undivided attention, you can build her self-esteem by giving her specific praise and just by making her feel valuable because of the time and positive attention you are giving her.

Yankel And Leah – Chapter 28

Quite frankly, I feel terrible, but also great. I had always felt old, but now I feel young even though it feels like my body has been broken into two.

Dear Dr. Yael

I am not sure if you are involved in a frenemy relationship as you did not share any details. If you feel this is a negative relationship for you, there are positive ways to disengage from a frenemy relationship.

Healthy Dating!

Health and exercise are not WHO you are. It is something very important to you. I must assume that there are other things that you value as well.

Yankel And Leah – Chapter 27

Yankel had never before been physically assaulted. He was out of breath and overcome with adrenaline. One of the policemen helped Yankel down the subway stairs. He sat him down on a chair and spoke to him.

Dear Dr. Yael

Most negative and anxious messages we give ourselves are irrational.

Bad Review

Someone who knows the person well, or even someone who has previously dated a girl or guy can be a great resource in learning about a potential match. However, a real understanding of a prospective date can also lack objective and may contain personal bias.

Yankel And Leah – Chapter 26

The crafty caterer perked up in his chair: He knew he had a fish on the line. Yankel could see it all, with his new eyes that took in everything these days.

Dear Dr. Yael

The first step is recognizing that someone is not a good friend for you, which you seem to have noticed, at least on some level. Even if this friend is supportive at times, you should never feel that a friend is trying to destroy your self-esteem.

The Parking Lot Is Full

Yes, it is true that we must devote a huge amount of our time and energy to dating. Yes, we need to make dating a priority and be willing to accommodate the opportunities that come our way. Still, you are not ONLY someone who is dating.

Yankel And Leah – Chapter Twenty-Five

Leah’s father yawned and sat up and banged a hand on the dashboard. This car, zul’n zein a kapara – should be an atonement for all my sins.

Dear Dr. Yael

I cannot say one definitive thing that will end the shidduch crisis, but we definitely have to work on being open minded and stopping to pigeon hole everyone.

Soon By You!

I think singles everywhere can safely assume that when we encounter them, we are all truly hoping and praying that they meet their right match soon.

Yankel And Leah – Chapter Twenty-Four

It pleased Leah’s father that the Rosh HaYeshiva had accorded him such respect. He was beside himself with pleasure.

Dear Dr. Yael

It is terrifying to see our parents age. We want our parents to age because that means we have them for longer. It is so special to have the zechus to have parents, but it is difficult to know what to do when we are faced with challenging decisions.

Go Team!

You have been blessed to meet your right match and you are now preparing to spend your lives together. Yet, now that the excitement of your dating and engagement has waned somewhat, you are feeling unsure of how to proceed.

Yanle And Leah – Chapter Twenty-Three

Yankel was hurt by Leah’s remark, only more so because it was true. The chabura was a motley, ragtag crew. To even call them a chabura was an embarrassment.

Dear Dr. Yael,

I don’t want you to minimize the devotion that your mother demonstrates to her family. Closeness and devotion are very important. As Jewish mothers we all struggle with some degree of enmeshment.

Plus One

You are in a difficult position. While I commend your commitment to meeting new people by attending events, the lack of a matchmaker seems to ultimately be slowing you down.

Yankel And Leah – Chapter Twenty-Two

He couldn’t make up his mind if this was beautiful or ugly. Women – the torture of women!

Dear Dr. Yael

It is interesting that you now appreciate how the chassidim date. Many people who are not from the chassidishe world cannot understand or fathom that a couple can get engaged after three meetings and be happy together.

Bumps And Bruises

Of course, you could meet your future husband next week, but realistically you know that there is no timetable, and you can’t help but feel the road shift, leaving you waiting at the curb.

Dear Dr. Yael

No spouse can make you happy. You have to find happiness within yourself and then you can build a loving relationship.

Background Noise

You are not the first couple to mesh differing backgrounds. Many have created families enriched by the flavors of both of their childhoods to create beautiful homes.

Yankel And Leah – Chapter Twenty

Yankel was puzzled. He was young, he was old. It didn’t feel like a compliment either way. Now he wasn’t to talk about it – but they were full steam ahead anyway.

Dear Dr. Yael

It is interesting that you now appreciate how the chassidim date. Many people who are not from the chassidishe world cannot understand or fathom that a couple can get engaged after three meetings and be happy together.

Warning Signs

Even though he didn’t display any more “red flags” on the rest of your date, you are concerned that this behavior is not something you should ignore. Was this just a bad moment? Or was your interaction a forecasting of a turbulent future; a discussion that must not be ignored.

Yankel And Leah – Chapter Nineteen

Meanwhile the older woman studied the younger hard, from a distance. It was bizarre for Yankel to watch his mother stare to the point of crudeness.

Dear Dr. Yael

Nothing you do will really calm the drama, but if you and your wife can change your perspective, it may make everything easier to bear and thus make you feel calmer (which will ultimately calm the house down as well).

Nope, Not Today.

Even when we are comfortable working toward a future with someone, we can feel blindsided by our date’s easy understanding of what a lifetime together would look like.

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Printed from: https://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/dear-dr-yael-408/2023/06/30/

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