Marriage and Relationships

You don’t want to date someone who isn’t skinny and don’t understand why those around you bristle at that statement. Would they prefer you date a girl you are not going to be attracted to because of her size?

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Yankel had never before been physically assaulted. He was out of breath and overcome with adrenaline. One of the policemen helped Yankel down the subway stairs. He sat him down on a chair and spoke to him.

Controlling behavior may be the #1 reason that your marriage needs first aid. If you are unfamiliar with the topic of control, it’s no surprise. Most people are unaware that control is a major topic for counselors, therapists and psychologists-at-large, which until recently has not entered into the public’s attention.

Big people say, "You were right"; bigger people are willing to say, "I was wrong."

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It’s fair to say that we all know or have someone in our family who is divorced.

We can perhaps discuss the importance of honesty. You did not give your sisters the chance to accept your choice with dignity before you began dating.

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Dear Dr. Yael: My in-laws have a wonderful reputation in our community. They are looked upon as truly charitable and giving people. However, charity should begin at home. My in-laws never helped us financially, even when approached gracefully and tactfully. But they often give generously to their shul’s tzedakah funds, among other charities – as long as the public recognizes their contributions.

Of course, you could meet your future husband next week, but realistically you know that there is no timetable, and you can’t help but feel the road shift, leaving you waiting at the curb.

Most people know that in therapy they will be asked to talk in depth about their personal lives and to describe their day-to-day struggles with specific people, whether it is with spouses, family members, bosses or neighbors, etc. They are therefore surprised to learn that this is not permitted in EFGT.

It takes a certain sensitivity to do marital therapy. The therapist should try to put themselves in the client’s shoes and try to be careful not to open up issues that the couple will have to live with later and not have the tools to deal with.

There are millions of adults today who experienced the trauma of their parents’ divorce 20, 30, 40 or more years ago. Some have found closure, but many more have not. Regrettably, it is a time in a child’s life that is never forgotten. It stays with you; it is part of who you are.

Someone close to us knew that you were good at saving marriages and begged us to give therapy one last chance,

While you may struggle to talk and share, you can be a great listener. Prepare open-ended questions before the date and really listen to the answers given.

As adults who were children of divorce know, healing does not occur through time alone. In fact, my research found that only 46% said they had a positive relationship with their fathers as adults.

"I know people mean well... but..."

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Many couples benefit from premarital counseling to increase the chances of avoiding issues during the marriage.

There are times when a psychiatrist will over-medicate, which is why it's important to find a psychiatrist whom you trust and feel comfortable with.

Can improving your marriage help you live longer? A fascinating study led by researchers at Hebrew University revealed that Bnei Brak, an Israeli city that has one of the highest proportions of ultra-Orthodox Jews, also had the longest life expectancy in Israel. This is what the report found:

When I complain, she tells me it is retail therapy.

Politically correct wording and trending topics aside, every woman’s objective must always be to find her bashert so she can create an everlasting Jewish home in which she can raise her children.

Dear Dr. Respler: When I read your May 25 column, Making Peace With Your Mother-In-Law, I started to cry, as I knew that the letter signer (Heartbroken Daughter-in-Law) was my daughter-in-law. We always discuss your column, and I guess it was her way of delivering a message to me.

You don’t need to fly anywhere of course if you don’t want to. Perhaps, though, you can take a moment to reflect on your unwillingness to travel outside of your comfort zone.

Tell her that you know how much effort she puts into raising her children and that you never meant to criticize her.

My teachers like me and they tell my parents that I am a great girl with good middos.

Dear Dr. Respler: I notice a certain unfortunate trend. People who lose a parent at a young age often stay single for a long time – or, unfortunately, do not marry at all. This was first pointed out to me at a sheva berachos in the fall of 2011. My internal thought was that the person who lost his father when he (the son) was just 28 – which, in my opinion, is an age when one should be able to function on one’s own – was simply looking for an excuse to rationalize why he had not yet gotten married.

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