It will also help to know each other’s values (what is important to your spouse), and to understand his or her attitudes about money. As a couple, you need to discuss how money will be spent, and determine who is responsible for your finances. For example, in some homes, one person may be responsible for balancing the checkbook, and purchasing items for the house such as appliances and kitchenware. In other families, both husband and wife write checks and actually never keep a record of how much money is coming in and how much is going out. So, when talking about how money is managed, you need to be honest about your feelings. If you resent having to ask the other for money, say so. If you think that the “head of the house” has certain responsibilities, say so. To hide such feelings is far more destructive over time than to reveal them.
First Aid Relationship Tips
Your feelings about money and the value you place on what money can buy will influence the procedures you use for planning and controlling your money. Here are some tips for managing your money:
- Take a financial attitudes test
- Create a monthly budget and stick to it
- Make a Powergram.
- Learn to be content with what you have
Next week, part 23, How Do You Relate to Money?
Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, MA, is the Executive Director of Shalom Task Force and author of a “First Aid for Jewish Marriages.” To order a copy, visit www.JewishMarriageSupport.com. For more information about Shalom Task Force, please visit www.shalomtaskforce.org. You can e-mail questions to him at firstname.lastname@example.org.