web analytics
April 1, 2015 / 12 Nisan, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Part 23 – How Do You Relate To Money?


Schonbuch-Rabbi-Daniel

To help couples better understand where they stand on financial issues, here is a mini quiz that both partners can take and use to facilitate a discussion about money.

1. We talk about money regularly.

– True

– False

2. We have decided who will handle the bills after we marry.

– True

– False

3. I feel my future spouse manages his/her own money well.

– True

– False

4. I would feel comfortable if my future spouse made a purchase of $250 without telling me.

– True

– False

5. I feel my future spouse knows what my retirement dreams are.

– True

– False

6. I know how much debt and savings (including investments) my spouse is bringing into our marriage.

– True

– False

7. Between us, we have more than five credit cards.

– True

– False

8. I know how much my future spouse makes, and what percentage he/she is contributing to our 401 (k) plan at work.

– True

– False

9. I feel my spouse avoids sitting down and talking about money with me.

– True

– False

10. We have the same financial dreams.

– True

– False

11. I feel that my future spouse treats my money as if it’s his/her own.

– True

– False

12. I never talked about money with my parents.

– True

– False

13. I know how my future spouse would feel if I wanted to quit my job and start a business.

– True

– False

14. I would feel comfortable living off one salary if either my spouse or I wanted to quit his/her job.

– True

– False

15. When we talk about money, my spouse interrupts me often or dismisses my points of view.

– True

– False

16. I feel my future spouse is stingy.

– True

– False

17. We have a financial plan.

– True

– False

18. We’ve talked to a financial planner.

– True

– False

Scoring:

Give yourself one point if you answered True to questions 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 10, 13, 15, 16, and 17, and one point if you answered False to 7, 9, 11, 12 and 14.

0 to 6 points:

There seems to be a low level of financial understanding between you. Make sure your future spouse takes this quiz and compare scores. If you see a significant difference in your scores, or if you both answered the same, but had low scores, that means you need major help on this important area of your life together. I suggest speaking to a marriage counselor or a halachic authority, and see if you can work toward a better understanding of each other’s perspectives on money.

7 to 12 points:

You and your future spouse have a few things to work out, but for the most part, you understand where each is coming from. Maybe you won’t see everything the same, but at least you’ve got enough in common that you can make it work.

13 to 18 points:

You seem to see eye-to-eye on most financial issues. There seems to be a lot of similarity in your outlook and attitudes. This shows that you’re on the right track. Keep talking, and keep sharing your responsibilities in financial planning. Your sense of responsibility shows that you know that financial planning is important.

Now that you’ve discussed your attitudes about money, it’s helpful to make a financial plan.

Next week, Part 24, Making A Monthly Budget

Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, MA, is the Executive Director of Shalom Task Force and author of a “First Aid for Jewish Marriages.” To order a copy, visit www.JewishMarriageSupport.com. For more information about Shalom Task Force, please visit www.shalomtaskforce.org. You can e-mail questions to him at rabbischonbuch@yahoo.com.

About the Author: Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, MA, LMFT is an expert in marriage counseling, pre-marital education, treating anxiety and depression, and helping teens in crisis with offices For more information visit www.JewishMarriageSupport.com, e-mail rabbischonbuch@yahoo.com or call 646-428-4723.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Part 23 – How Do You Relate To Money?”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Egyptian President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi.
Obama Stops Punishing Egypt for Dumping Muslim Brotherhood Prez
Latest Sections Stories
Food-Talk---Eller-logo

While we are all accustomed to the occasional recipe substitutions – swapping milk for creamer, applesauce for oil – gluten-free cooking is a whole different ballgame.

Something-Cooking-logo

Until the year I decided to put a stop to all my tremors. I realized that if I wanted my family to experience Pesach and its preparations as uplifting and fulfilling, I’d have to relax and loosen up.

Teens-032715

David looked up. “Hatzlacha, Dina,” he smiled. “I hope everything goes well.”

In 1756, when the ominous threat of Islamic terror against Jews reached Tunis as well, Friha became one of its tragic victims.

Are we allowed to lie for shalom bayis? It would seem so, but what might be a healthy guideline for when it’s okay and when it’s not?

The connection between what I experienced as a high school teenager and the adult I am today did not come easy to me.

Isn’t therapy about being yourself; aren’t there different ways for people to communicate with each other?

Jack was awarded a blue and gold first-place trophy, appropriately topped off with a golden bee.

Participating in ManiCures during the school day may feel like a break from learning, but the intended message to the students was loud and clear. Learning and chesed come in all forms, and can be fun.

Building campaign chairman Jack Gluck has led the effort over many years.

When using an extension cord always make sure to use the correct rated extension cord.

There was no question that when Mrs. Cohen entered the room to meet the teacher she was hostile from the outset.

Szold was among the founders and leaders (she served on its executive committee) of Ichud (“Unity”), a political group that campaigned against the creation of an independent, sovereign Jewish state in Eretz Yisrael.

My friend is a strong and capable Jewish woman, but she acted with a passivity that seemed out of character.

More Articles from Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch
Schonbuch-Rabbi-Daniel

Teens-at-risk feel alienated from their parents and often believe that no one is interested in hearing about their problems.

Schonbuch-Rabbi-Daniel

Separation anxiety disorder is a condition in which a child becomes fearful and nervous when away from home or separated from a loved one – usually a parent or other caregiver – to whom the child is attached.

I try to focus on the parents in a way that is not often addressed. As soon as the child gets anxious, the parent gets anxious;

Most people are not aware that anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the United States, affecting 40 million adults age 18 and older (18% of U.S. population).

Parental conflict affects children in varying ways, depending on their age. For example, teenagers around the age of fifteen or sixteen are most likely to involve themselves in their parents’ battles. Younger children may keep their feelings hidden inside and may only show signs of depression in late childhood or early adolescence.

When parents come to talk to me about a troubled child or teenager, I often find it helpful to explore whether or not their marriage is causing their teenager to be at risk.

Active listening is only one part of the marriage equation; learning what to say and what not to say is the other half. And, it’s not just about expressing your feelings, but doing it in a way that avoids hurting the other person.

Control may be the most destructive force influencing a marriage. Let me illustrate this point with the following story. About two years ago a woman named Bracha, 47, came to speak to me about her husband’s controlling behavior. This is how she described her precarious situation:

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/part-23-how-do-you-relate-to-money/2009/07/17/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: