web analytics
March 4, 2015 / 13 Adar , 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Part 23 – How Do You Relate To Money?


Schonbuch-Rabbi-Daniel

To help couples better understand where they stand on financial issues, here is a mini quiz that both partners can take and use to facilitate a discussion about money.

1. We talk about money regularly.

- True

- False

2. We have decided who will handle the bills after we marry.

- True

- False

3. I feel my future spouse manages his/her own money well.

- True

- False

4. I would feel comfortable if my future spouse made a purchase of $250 without telling me.

- True

- False

5. I feel my future spouse knows what my retirement dreams are.

- True

- False

6. I know how much debt and savings (including investments) my spouse is bringing into our marriage.

- True

- False

7. Between us, we have more than five credit cards.

- True

- False

8. I know how much my future spouse makes, and what percentage he/she is contributing to our 401 (k) plan at work.

- True

- False

9. I feel my spouse avoids sitting down and talking about money with me.

- True

- False

10. We have the same financial dreams.

- True

- False

11. I feel that my future spouse treats my money as if it’s his/her own.

- True

- False

12. I never talked about money with my parents.

- True

- False

13. I know how my future spouse would feel if I wanted to quit my job and start a business.

- True

- False

14. I would feel comfortable living off one salary if either my spouse or I wanted to quit his/her job.

- True

- False

15. When we talk about money, my spouse interrupts me often or dismisses my points of view.

- True

- False

16. I feel my future spouse is stingy.

- True

- False

17. We have a financial plan.

- True

- False

18. We’ve talked to a financial planner.

- True

- False

Scoring:

Give yourself one point if you answered True to questions 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 10, 13, 15, 16, and 17, and one point if you answered False to 7, 9, 11, 12 and 14.

0 to 6 points:

There seems to be a low level of financial understanding between you. Make sure your future spouse takes this quiz and compare scores. If you see a significant difference in your scores, or if you both answered the same, but had low scores, that means you need major help on this important area of your life together. I suggest speaking to a marriage counselor or a halachic authority, and see if you can work toward a better understanding of each other’s perspectives on money.

7 to 12 points:

You and your future spouse have a few things to work out, but for the most part, you understand where each is coming from. Maybe you won’t see everything the same, but at least you’ve got enough in common that you can make it work.

13 to 18 points:

You seem to see eye-to-eye on most financial issues. There seems to be a lot of similarity in your outlook and attitudes. This shows that you’re on the right track. Keep talking, and keep sharing your responsibilities in financial planning. Your sense of responsibility shows that you know that financial planning is important.

Now that you’ve discussed your attitudes about money, it’s helpful to make a financial plan.

Next week, Part 24, Making A Monthly Budget

Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, MA, is the Executive Director of Shalom Task Force and author of a “First Aid for Jewish Marriages.” To order a copy, visit www.JewishMarriageSupport.com. For more information about Shalom Task Force, please visit www.shalomtaskforce.org. You can e-mail questions to him at rabbischonbuch@yahoo.com.

About the Author: Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, MA, LMFT is an expert in marriage counseling, pre-marital education, treating anxiety and depression, and helping teens in crisis with offices For more information visit www.JewishMarriageSupport.com, e-mail rabbischonbuch@yahoo.com or call 646-428-4723.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Part 23 – How Do You Relate To Money?”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Rosalind Jordan, Washington, D.C. reporter for Al Jazeera
Al Jazeera Reporter: ‘Bibi Said ISIL and Iran Working Together’
Latest Sections Stories
Yarden Merlot

Bottles of wine accompany the Pesach storytelling – each glass of wine represents the four expressions used by G-d in describing the redemption of the Jewish people from Egypt.

Schonfeld-logo1

There is a point that many parenting books miss: children do more for us than we do for them.

Brigitte was a nine-year-old girl when Islamic militants launched an assault on a Lebanese military base and destroyed her home.

The husband needs to make some changes!

Purim is a fantastic time for fantasies, so I hope you won’t mind my fantasizing about how easy life would be if kids would prefer healthy cuisine over sweets. Imagine waking up to the call of “Mommy, when will my oatmeal be ready?”… As you rush to ladle out the hot unsweetened cereal, you rub […]

‘Double Gold’ awarded to 2012 Yarden Heights wine & 2011 Yarden Merlot Kela Single Vineyard.

One should not give the money before Purim morning or after sunset.

The mishloach manos of times gone by were sometimes simple and sometimes elaborate, but the main focus was on the preparation of the delicious food they contained.

One of the earliest special Purims we have on record was celebrated by the Jews of Granada and Shmuel HaNagid, the eleventh-century rav, poet, soldier and statesman, and one of the most influential Jews in Muslim Spain.

Jews, wake up! Stop educating the world and start educating yourselves.

The lessons conform to the sensitivities and needs of the Orthodox community…

The program took on special significance as it marked not only the first anniversary of Rebbetzin Kudan’s levayah but also the 27th yahrzeit of Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka Schneerson, a”h.

It was only in the reign of George III (1760-1820) that Jews became socially acceptable in Britain, and Nathan became music master to Princess Charlotte and musical librarian to King George IV.

More Articles from Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch
Schonbuch-Rabbi-Daniel

Teens-at-risk feel alienated from their parents and often believe that no one is interested in hearing about their problems.

Schonbuch-Rabbi-Daniel

Separation anxiety disorder is a condition in which a child becomes fearful and nervous when away from home or separated from a loved one – usually a parent or other caregiver – to whom the child is attached.

I try to focus on the parents in a way that is not often addressed. As soon as the child gets anxious, the parent gets anxious;

Most people are not aware that anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the United States, affecting 40 million adults age 18 and older (18% of U.S. population).

Parental conflict affects children in varying ways, depending on their age. For example, teenagers around the age of fifteen or sixteen are most likely to involve themselves in their parents’ battles. Younger children may keep their feelings hidden inside and may only show signs of depression in late childhood or early adolescence.

When parents come to talk to me about a troubled child or teenager, I often find it helpful to explore whether or not their marriage is causing their teenager to be at risk.

Active listening is only one part of the marriage equation; learning what to say and what not to say is the other half. And, it’s not just about expressing your feelings, but doing it in a way that avoids hurting the other person.

Control may be the most destructive force influencing a marriage. Let me illustrate this point with the following story. About two years ago a woman named Bracha, 47, came to speak to me about her husband’s controlling behavior. This is how she described her precarious situation:

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/part-23-how-do-you-relate-to-money/2009/07/17/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: