web analytics
August 29, 2014 / 3 Elul, 5774
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat (L) visits the JewishPress.com booth at The Event. And the Winners of the JewishPress.com Raffle Are…

Congratulations to all the winners of the JewishPress.com raffle at The Event



Respecting Our Children: A Reader Reacts

Respler-Yael

Dear Dr. Yael:

Thank you for your February 7 column, “Respecting Our Children,” in which A Reader wrote, “Although some readers may roll their eyes while reading my letter, the problem I’ve addressed hurts my children and me.” I am also a mother with a large young family who lives in a frum neighborhood where the stores are very close to our home. Two of my nine children, 12- and 13-year-old daughters, have also had people cut in front of them on line at the bakery and grocery.

My girls help me very much with my other children. Baruch Hashem, my husband and I have a great marriage. He is a great father, but works very hard running his business (earning a good parnassah), and tries to learn twice a day while always davening with a minyan. As a result of his busy schedule, the burden of running the house and caring for the children falls largely on my shoulders. After reading your column, I decided to implement some of the ideas you suggested.

I generally try to make lists of orders and to have all the food delivered to our house. I attempt to put all the food items needed (e.g., challah) on the list, negating the necessity for my daughters to shop for me on erev Shabbos. But in the event that I leave something off the list and my daughters need to go shopping, we role-play – as you suggested – how they should handle the situation if someone cuts in front of them. They loved the idea of saying, with derech eretz, “Excuse me, but I am sure that you don’t realize that I am next in line.”

About two weeks agoon a Thursday night, I was up almost all night with the baby.  When the baby finally fell asleep, so did I – and when I woke up at 10 a.m., the baby was still asleep and my wonderful husband had gotten all the children off to school.  He also sent me a text forbidding me to bake challah for Shabbos, as he knew how tired I was. He wanted me to buy the challah instead.

After completing my Shabbos preparations, my oldest daughter volunteered to pick up challah from the local bakery. Before leaving, she said smilingly, “Don’t worry, Mommy, I will not let anyone cut in front of me. I know all of Dr. Yael’s techniques and I will tell the people in front of me, with derech eretz, that it is my turn.” She was home in fifteen minutes – with a big smile on her face.

I asked my excited daughter what happened. She said, “Mommy, you would not believe how it worked. I was next in line at the bakery and a woman behind me who was talking on her cell phone just cut in front of me and gave her order. I said in a really nice tone, ‘Excuse me, I am not sure you realize it but I was next in line.’

“The woman was embarrassed and quiet, and I gave my order. The non-Jewish lady who served me smiled at me, and, in broken English, said, ‘You are a good girl and I am giving you two special cookies for free. Which do you want?’ I guess she liked the way I spoke to the lady who tried to cut in front of me. I pointed to my favorite cookies, the ones with the chocolate cream swirl on top, and she gave them to me with a smile. And she wished me a happy Shabbos.”

My daughter concluded by saying, “Mommy, I feel so good. I feel strong and I am so happy.”

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Respecting Our Children: A Reader Reacts”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
ISIS in Quneitra
Updates from Kuneitra, Syria [video]
Latest Sections Stories
LBJ-082914

What better proof do we need than the recent war with Hamas in Gaza, dubbed “Operation Protective Edge,” that transformed the pain and suffering of three families into a sense of unparalleled unity and outpouring of love of the entire nation of Israel?

Katzman-082914

So many families are mourning, and all along we mourned with them.

Astaire-082914

In addition to his great erudition, Rabi Akiva was known for his optimism.

Kupfer-082914-Chuppah

She told me that she was busy and that he could sit in his wet clothes for the rest of the day. It would teach him to be more careful.

What can we do to help him stop feeling so sad all the time?

Children with dyslexia or dysgraphia frequently have problems in social relationships.

Israel’s neighbors engaged in hostilities from the onset. The War of Independence was a hard-won battle. Aggression and enmity has followed for 66 years.

The contest will include student-created sculpture, computer graphic design, collage, videography, PowerPoint and painting.

David, an 8-year-old boy on the autism spectrum, recently attended a Friendship Circle event. As he entered he told his Dad, “I love coming to the FC programs ‘cause everyone loves each other.”

Goldsmith himself went on his own “voyage of discovery” to the places where his grandfather and uncle landed and were sent.

Frank proclaimed himself Zvi’s successor and the reincarnation of King David.

Almost immediately the audience began singing and clapping and continued almost without stop throughout the rest of the concert.

As of late, vintage has definitely been in vogue in the Orthodox community.

Stroll through formal gardens, ride mountain bikes, or go rock climbing.

More Articles from Dr. Yael Respler
Respler-082914

What can we do to help him stop feeling so sad all the time?

Respler-Yael

Perhaps you can reach a compromise during this news frenzy, whereby you will feel more comfortable while he can still follow the latest events.

There could be no Jewish-themed books and, as such, the lack of knowledge these boys displayed in regards to many of the topics we read about was clear.

Upon hearing that he did, the owner sent him the atarah – all shiny and new – to be returned to me. I was reunited with my father’s precious gift.

A prominent shadchan recently articulated a dilemma she’s facing.

The real solution to bullying is to empower the bullied child.

My teachers like me and they tell my parents that I am a great girl with good middos.

Some yeshivish couples do not believe in going out with other couples, but that does not mean that the women cannot have social lives.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/respecting-our-children-a-reader-reacts/2014/02/21/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: