If you did something special with your child, mention it to your husband by asking, “Do you think what I did was creative and effective?” Again, he will probably answer in the affirmative. Then tell him to please try to be more complimentary to you because you crave his compliments. Emphasize that he is a special husband and that when he compliments you it makes your day and life better. Continue requesting compliments from him and return his compliments with kind words of your own. The more positive reinforcements you give him, the more he will continue to compliment you. Ultimately, he will do so on his own.
As all women crave compliments from their husbands, please do not feel that you are unique. Many of my female clients express this deep need for a husband’s praise and validation. I hear this in my shalom bayis groups and in my private practice, as well as from the many people who pose questions to me in this column and on my hotline.
Please feel reassured that you are not unique in your need for praise. I hope my ideas are helpful. Hatzlachah!Dr. Yael Respler
About the Author: Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to firstname.lastname@example.org. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.
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