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A story is told of a famous rabbi who had a different policy at every wedding that he made for his children. For example, he would walk one child down the aisle with his wife while for another child he would walk the chassan down the aisle with his mechutan (his wife would walk the kallah down the aisle with her machatenista).

One day someone asked him why he had a different policy for each chassanah. The rabbi answered that he did whatever his machatanim wanted for the sake of shalom.

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Let us all learn from the rabbi and the families involved in this story. Their example of giving to each other is to be emulated, especially since it was the beginning of a new and unknown relationship. It is integral to teach young couples the important things in life and to set an example for them of a comfortable and loving relationship.

As I wish hatzlachah to those planning a wedding, I urge them to remember that the most valuable thing during the planning is the positive relationships that are formed. They should try to not lose sight of the eventual goal, namely a positive and loving marriage.

I wish you and all Jewish Press readers a chag kasher v’sameach.

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Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to deardryael@aol.com. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.