web analytics
April 20, 2014 / 20 Nisan, 5774
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
Spa 1.2 Combining Modern Living in Traditional Jerusalem

A unique and prestigious residential project in now being built in Mekor Haim Street in Jerusalem.



Shidduchim: Why Personality Compatibility Matters

Respler-101912

Share Button

Coan is attempting to ameliorate our serious shidduch crisis. The task is daunting, since so many of our “older singles” are amazing, special people but unable to find their zivug. If you read this column regularly, you know that while Chassidim have a shidduch crisis with many special “older boys,” we have a shidduch crisis with our special “older girls.” When I suggested years ago that we try to marry off the wonderful, on-the-derech chassidish boys to the wonderful, on-the-derech yeshivish Bais Yaakov-type girls, even attempting to organize shadchanim to achieve this goal, I was publicly criticized.

The on-the-derech frum hardworking chassidish boys were ready to participate in this venture. Even though I had shadchanim ready to begin their work, the more yeshivish girls were resistant. Ultimately they were more comfortable marrying ba’alei teshuvah from a non-frum family, since they viewed these boys as ones raising their neshamos to higher levels. The girls were also not prepared to take on chassidishe minhagim, since a girl must follow her husband’s derech.

I even attempted to begin a “shidduch corner” as part of my column. Unfortunately, it was not successful. There were, however, two chassidish shidduchim made. One was between two supposedly infertile people living in different countries. Someone read my column and matched them up. Amazingly, they were zocheh to miraculously have children. The other shidduch was between a regular chassidish couple.

I am truly proud of Moshe Coan’s hard work. He has been receiving a steady stream of e-mails and phone calls from members who are absolutely thrilled with the website and the matches they are receiving. ZivugZone.com has the haskamah of Rav Moshe Heinemann, rabbinic supervisor of the Star-K, and I highly encourage all singles to check it out.

May this site be part of the effort to solve a demoralizing shidduch crisis that is considered by some as one of the challenges facing our generation and our galus. Hatzlachah to all those trying to make a difference for our singles. May we all be zocheh in our efforts, whatever different forms they may take, to defeat this great nisayon.

To everyone involved in shidduchim: tizku l’mitzvos!

Share Button

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

No Responses to “Shidduchim: Why Personality Compatibility Matters”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Ukraine Shul Firebombed
Ukrainian Synagogue Firebombed (Video)
Latest Sections Stories
Schonfeld-logo1

Regardless of age, parents play an important role in their children’s lives.

Marriage-Relationship-logo

We peel away one layer after the next, our eyes tear up and it becomes harder and harder to see as we get closer to our innermost insecurities and fears.

Gorsky-041814-Torah

Some Mountain Jews believe they are descendents of the Ten Lost Tribes and were exiled to Azerbaijan and Dagestan by Sancheriv.

Baim-041814-Piggy

Yom Tov is about spending time with your family. And while for some families the big once-in-a-lifetime experience is great, for others something low key is the way to go.

A fascinating glimpse into the rich complexity of medieval Jewish life and its contemporary relevance had intriguingly emerged.

Dear Dr. Yael:

My heart is breaking; my husband’s friend has gotten divorced. While this type of situation is always sad, here I do believe it could have been avoided.

The plan’s goal is to provide supportive housing to 200 individuals with disabilities by the year 2020.

Despite being one of the fastest-growing Jewish communities in the U.S. – the estimated Jewish population is 70-80,000 – Las Vegas has long been overlooked by much of the Torah world.

She was followed by the shadows of the Six Million, by the ever so subtle awareness of their vanished presence.

Pesach is so liberating (if you excuse the expression). It’s the only time I can eat anywhere in the house, guilt free! Matzah in bed!

Now all the pain, fear and struggle were over and they were home. Yuli was safe and free, a hero returned to his land and people.

While it would seem from his question that he is being chuzpadik and dismissive, I wonder if its possible, if just maybe, he is a struggling, confused neshama who actually wants to come back to the fold.

I agree with the letter writer that a shadchan should respectfully and graciously accept a negative response to a shidduch offer.

Alternative assessments are an extremely important part of understanding what students know beyond the scope of tests and quizzes.

More Articles from Dr. Yael Respler
Respler-041814

Dear Dr. Yael:

My heart is breaking; my husband’s friend has gotten divorced. While this type of situation is always sad, here I do believe it could have been avoided.

Respler-041114

I agree with the letter writer that a shadchan should respectfully and graciously accept a negative response to a shidduch offer.

By employing this new countermove, the scenario will likely change.

I bring the results of this study to demonstrate that although in a frum world we should rise above the gashmius, unfortunately, we still live in a secular world in which we are affected by that gashmius.

It is a shame that when one sincerely wishes to help another person, he or she often must avoid telling the truth.

Dear Anonymous:

Thank you for your amazing letter. I wish you hatzlachah in your new marriage, and may your letter bring more sensitivity to others regarding this issue.

JetBlue flew an empty aircraft from Boston to JFK to assist us. The care and concern of the flight attendants was amazing. They were astounded by our group, so much so that at the end of the flight, the captain related for all to hear that he was truly impressed by the care that the HASC counselors provided for the special-needs campers – all of whom have physical, mental, or emotional disabilities. We did our best to demonstrate a true kiddush Hashem.

I had a great figure and dressed well, but the only thing wrong with me was that I had a very long nose with a huge bump.

    Latest Poll

    Now that Kerry's "Peace Talks" are apparently over, are you...?







    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/shidduchim-why-personality-compatibility-matters/2012/10/18/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: