web analytics
March 4, 2015 / 13 Adar , 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Shidduchim: Why Personality Compatibility Matters

Respler-101912

Coan is attempting to ameliorate our serious shidduch crisis. The task is daunting, since so many of our “older singles” are amazing, special people but unable to find their zivug. If you read this column regularly, you know that while Chassidim have a shidduch crisis with many special “older boys,” we have a shidduch crisis with our special “older girls.” When I suggested years ago that we try to marry off the wonderful, on-the-derech chassidish boys to the wonderful, on-the-derech yeshivish Bais Yaakov-type girls, even attempting to organize shadchanim to achieve this goal, I was publicly criticized.

The on-the-derech frum hardworking chassidish boys were ready to participate in this venture. Even though I had shadchanim ready to begin their work, the more yeshivish girls were resistant. Ultimately they were more comfortable marrying ba’alei teshuvah from a non-frum family, since they viewed these boys as ones raising their neshamos to higher levels. The girls were also not prepared to take on chassidishe minhagim, since a girl must follow her husband’s derech.

I even attempted to begin a “shidduch corner” as part of my column. Unfortunately, it was not successful. There were, however, two chassidish shidduchim made. One was between two supposedly infertile people living in different countries. Someone read my column and matched them up. Amazingly, they were zocheh to miraculously have children. The other shidduch was between a regular chassidish couple.

I am truly proud of Moshe Coan’s hard work. He has been receiving a steady stream of e-mails and phone calls from members who are absolutely thrilled with the website and the matches they are receiving. ZivugZone.com has the haskamah of Rav Moshe Heinemann, rabbinic supervisor of the Star-K, and I highly encourage all singles to check it out.

May this site be part of the effort to solve a demoralizing shidduch crisis that is considered by some as one of the challenges facing our generation and our galus. Hatzlachah to all those trying to make a difference for our singles. May we all be zocheh in our efforts, whatever different forms they may take, to defeat this great nisayon.

To everyone involved in shidduchim: tizku l’mitzvos!

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Shidduchim: Why Personality Compatibility Matters”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
The Department of Justice concluded Michael Brown did not have his hands up in surrender when Officer Wilson shot him in August, 2014, in Ferguson, Missouri.
His Hands Weren’t Up: DoJ Clears Ferguson Police Officer
Latest Sections Stories
Yarden Merlot

Bottles of wine accompany the Pesach storytelling – each glass of wine represents the four expressions used by G-d in describing the redemption of the Jewish people from Egypt.

Schonfeld-logo1

There is a point that many parenting books miss: children do more for us than we do for them.

Brigitte was a nine-year-old girl when Islamic militants launched an assault on a Lebanese military base and destroyed her home.

The husband needs to make some changes!

Purim is a fantastic time for fantasies, so I hope you won’t mind my fantasizing about how easy life would be if kids would prefer healthy cuisine over sweets. Imagine waking up to the call of “Mommy, when will my oatmeal be ready?”… As you rush to ladle out the hot unsweetened cereal, you rub […]

‘Double Gold’ awarded to 2012 Yarden Heights wine & 2011 Yarden Merlot Kela Single Vineyard.

One should not give the money before Purim morning or after sunset.

The mishloach manos of times gone by were sometimes simple and sometimes elaborate, but the main focus was on the preparation of the delicious food they contained.

One of the earliest special Purims we have on record was celebrated by the Jews of Granada and Shmuel HaNagid, the eleventh-century rav, poet, soldier and statesman, and one of the most influential Jews in Muslim Spain.

Jews, wake up! Stop educating the world and start educating yourselves.

The lessons conform to the sensitivities and needs of the Orthodox community…

The program took on special significance as it marked not only the first anniversary of Rebbetzin Kudan’s levayah but also the 27th yahrzeit of Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka Schneerson, a”h.

It was only in the reign of George III (1760-1820) that Jews became socially acceptable in Britain, and Nathan became music master to Princess Charlotte and musical librarian to King George IV.

More Articles from Dr. Yael Respler
Respler-022715

The husband needs to make some changes!

Respler-022015

Whenever he did anything loving for me, I made a big deal about it.

She says that they are our children and since she brings in half, or sometimes more than half of our parnassah, we need to be full partners in their chinuch.

I surprise my wife with gifts, large and small.

They are like children keeping count of who changed how many diapers each day.

I find his mother to be a difficult person and my nature is to stay away from people like that.

Often both girls and boys compare their date to their parents.

The Moroccan wife’s chief pride is showing that she ought to win the prize for the most attentive and solicitous spouse and mother.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/shidduchim-why-personality-compatibility-matters/2012/10/18/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: