web analytics
August 1, 2015 / 16 Av, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Shidduchim: Why Personality Compatibility Matters

Respler-101912

Coan is attempting to ameliorate our serious shidduch crisis. The task is daunting, since so many of our “older singles” are amazing, special people but unable to find their zivug. If you read this column regularly, you know that while Chassidim have a shidduch crisis with many special “older boys,” we have a shidduch crisis with our special “older girls.” When I suggested years ago that we try to marry off the wonderful, on-the-derech chassidish boys to the wonderful, on-the-derech yeshivish Bais Yaakov-type girls, even attempting to organize shadchanim to achieve this goal, I was publicly criticized.

The on-the-derech frum hardworking chassidish boys were ready to participate in this venture. Even though I had shadchanim ready to begin their work, the more yeshivish girls were resistant. Ultimately they were more comfortable marrying ba’alei teshuvah from a non-frum family, since they viewed these boys as ones raising their neshamos to higher levels. The girls were also not prepared to take on chassidishe minhagim, since a girl must follow her husband’s derech.

I even attempted to begin a “shidduch corner” as part of my column. Unfortunately, it was not successful. There were, however, two chassidish shidduchim made. One was between two supposedly infertile people living in different countries. Someone read my column and matched them up. Amazingly, they were zocheh to miraculously have children. The other shidduch was between a regular chassidish couple.

I am truly proud of Moshe Coan’s hard work. He has been receiving a steady stream of e-mails and phone calls from members who are absolutely thrilled with the website and the matches they are receiving. ZivugZone.com has the haskamah of Rav Moshe Heinemann, rabbinic supervisor of the Star-K, and I highly encourage all singles to check it out.

May this site be part of the effort to solve a demoralizing shidduch crisis that is considered by some as one of the challenges facing our generation and our galus. Hatzlachah to all those trying to make a difference for our singles. May we all be zocheh in our efforts, whatever different forms they may take, to defeat this great nisayon.

To everyone involved in shidduchim: tizku l’mitzvos!

About the Author: Letters may be emailed to deardryael@aol.com. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Respler will be on 102.1 FM at 10:00 pm Sunday evenings after Country Yossi.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Shidduchim: Why Personality Compatibility Matters”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Matt Lee of the Associated Press at the State Department press briefing.
ObameDeal Exposed: It’s not ‘Secret’ from Congress but not in Writing
Latest Sections Stories

We studied his seforim together, we listened to famous cantorial masters and we spoke of his illustrious yichus, his pedigree, dating back to the famous commentator, Rashi.

Singer-Saul-Jay-logo-NEW

Jews who were considered, but not ultimately selected, include Woody Allen, Saul Bellow, David Ben-Gurion, Marc Chagall, Anne Frank, and Barbra Streisand.

Personally I wish that I had a mother like my wife.

What’s the difference between the first and second ten-year-old?

What makes this diary so historically significant is that it is not just the private memoir of Dr. Seidman. Rather, it is a reflection of the suffering of Klal Yisrael at that time.

Rabbi Lau is a world class speaker. When he relates stories, even concentration camp stories, the audience is mesmerized. As we would soon discover, he is in the movie as well.

Each essay, some adapted from lectures Furst prepared for live audiences, begins with several basic questions around a key topic.

For the last several years, four Jewish schools in the Baltimore Jewish community have been expelling students who have not received their vaccinations.

“We can’t wait for session II to begin” said camp director Mrs. Judy Neufeld.

More Articles from Dr. Yael Respler

Why should any girl deserve to end up with a guy who can’t even think straight?

Women don’t often realize they are being abused, especially if the abuse is emotional rather than physical.

My children encouraged me to date and even set me up with a very special man.

It is very hard to build a healthy marriage when you do not have good role models.

When they all try to speak at once, I will ask them to stop and speak one at a time.

In America one has to either be very rich or impoverished to receive care – the middle class seems to get taken advantage of.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/shidduchim-why-personality-compatibility-matters/2012/10/18/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: