web analytics
May 30, 2015 / 12 Sivan, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


The Anguish And Heartache Caused By Bullying


Respler-111111-Kids

 

After receiving the above reply from Dr. Respler, Anonymous sent the following response: 

Dear Dr. Yael:

Thank you so much for your response. What makes this situation all the more tragic is that it is so unnecessary. My original letter was about my older son. My younger son attended, straight through high school, a non-sectarian school for children with special needs. The foreign-born principal had a zero tolerance policy for bullying. This policy was 100 percent effective, although many of the students were from parenting and behavior environments unlike ours.

It is heartwarming to note that you don’t have to be Jewish to have ruach hakodesh!

*********************************************************************  

Dear Dr. Yael,

About a year ago I sent you a letter taking exception to advice you had given to women who had written in complaining about their husband’s behaviors (Magazine 12-17-2010).  In my letter, which you were kind enough to print, I wrote that you were too respectful of these awful men and that your advice to their wives wasn’t strong enough.

Now, I am delighted to write to tell you how much I enjoyed your response to the woman who wrote how pained she was by her mother-in-law who ignores her and her children (Magazine 10-28-2011).  How, I wondered, could a mother-in-law possibly do that?  Even if she’s distant with the daughter-in-law, how can she be distant with a baby?

You handled the matter perfectly, and I’m sure the writer will take your advice.

(A joke:  Perhaps the mother-in-law doesn’t have the energy to be close to all of her grandchildren and daughters-in-law.  What the young woman needs, therefore, is a shvigger with vigor.)

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous:

Thank you for your letter.   I appreciate your taking the time to write a positive response to my advice.  Generally people will write to me only when they disagree with something I have said, but not so often when they agree with my perspective.

In regards to the aforementioned family situation, I think daughter-in-law was more hurt by the perception that her mother-in-law treats her own daughters with more warmth and love.  However, this type of situation very often goes both ways.  Friends who have been Bubbys longer than I have tell me that their daughters children adore them while their son’s children tend to make them feel like second class citizens.   In those situations it would seem it was the daughters-in-law who were not showing warmth and love.  I would love to hear reactions from readers – from Bubbys, daughters and daughters-in-laws.

 

 

About the Author: Letters may be emailed to deardryael@aol.com. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “The Anguish And Heartache Caused By Bullying”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
What's happened to NYC's Celebrate Israel Parade?
Israel Rejects as ‘False’ UJA Federation’s Claims about Israel Parade ‘Inclusion’
Latest Sections Stories
Respler-logo-NEW

When I complain, she tells me it is retail therapy.

West-Coast-logo

Tal Dimenstein has been selected to present her ELI Talk about Appreciation during this year’s conference in Chicago.

How is it possible that some of our people cannot see what I see, the miracle of the existence of the state of Israel?

Birobidzhan railway station sign is the world’s only one spelling the town’s name in Yiddish letters

She’s seen as a poster child for The Jewish Home’s efforts to reach beyond its Orthodox base.

Girls don’t usually learn Gemara. Everyone knows that.

Mordechai and his men shared a strong mutual loyalty.

“Can I wear tefillin in the bathroom?” That was the question US Private Nuchim Lebensohn wrote to Mike Tress, president of the Agudath Israel Youth Council, in a letter dated November 18, 1942. Lebensohn was not your typical young American GI. Polish by birth, he was forty-three years old and married when he was drafted […]

To what extent is your child displaying defiance?

This therapist kept focusing on how “I could do better,” never on how we could make the marriage work.

Mistrust that has lingered after the fiasco in Ferguson, Missouri, has edged the issue forward.

“The observance of a kosher diet is a key tenet of Judaism, and one which no state has the right to deny,” said Nathan Diament, executive director for public policy of the Orthodox Union.

More Articles from Dr. Yael Respler
Respler-logo-NEW

When I complain, she tells me it is retail therapy.

Respler-052215

This therapist kept focusing on how “I could do better,” never on how we could make the marriage work.

Unfortunately, the probability is that he will not see a reason to change as he has been acting this way for a long time and clearly has some issues with respecting women.

Returning to visit my family for Yom Tov has become torturous for me.

Someone close to us knew that you were good at saving marriages and begged us to give therapy one last chance,

My mother-in-law and I have had our problems since the beginning of my marriage.

It is very natural for kids to want attention and to be jealous of each other, especially when there is a new baby.

How can you expect people who go through such gehenom to even know how to give warmth and love?

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/the-anguish-and-heartache-caused-by-bullying/2011/11/12/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: