You cannot imagine how much of sechar you will have as you change the way future generations of your family will behave. Your children are likely to experience a different childhood than your husband’s upbringing, and accordingly their homes will hopefully be different as well.
Please understand that your husband’s imago was challenging. You must recognize how difficult it is to grow up in such a home. With that in mind, please continue to be loving and warm toward your husband while doing your best to get him to be warm and complimentary toward you. The lesson here is that if you see his childhood as challenging, you will be less angry with him and more able to continue your very important mission.
I imagine that at times you will get frustrated at being the one who is almost always the initiator of acting in a positive and loving manner. But remember that ultimately you will reap the benefits of your outstanding countermoves. May Hashem give you the strength to continue what you are doing. Thank you again for your letter. I am sure it will help many other women. Hatzlachah!Dr. Yael Respler
About the Author: Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to firstname.lastname@example.org. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.
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