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Your children probably don’t realize that you are so overwhelmed because individually they may not feel like they are always “dumping” on you. Thus, it may be helpful to explain to them that although each one of them may only be sometimes asking for help, all the requests can be overwhelming – which is why you must implement the “need” versus “want” rule. Implementing this rule will force your married children to conduct a “needs assessment,” not a “wants assessments” purely for their convenience. This will make your children more aware of their actions, and will hopefully minimize the times that all of your children end up by you and overwhelm you and your daughters.

I hope these suggestions have been helpful. Hatzlachah!

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Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to deardryael@aol.com. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.
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