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Please do not forget that the most important thing at this time is getting extra help. Try to have a trustworthy teenager or babysitter help you with the baby, so that you can spend more time with your daughter. When the baby is sleeping, maybe the helper can take your daughter out, giving you the opportunity to get some much-needed sleep. This will help you to be calm with your daughter later on. Hatzlachah during this difficult time!

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Dear Dr. Yael:

Here’s my take on the recent letter from the woman who was being woken up too early by her husband’s alarm because he insisted on davening vasikin:

My husband wakes up early for daf yomi, and if I get woken before my time my whole day is shot. However, he uses a pillow speaker, which is a round plastic device that plugs directly into a radio alarm clock and is placed underneath his pillow. When his alarm goes off, he hears it through his pillow; but the sound is generally too muffled for me to hear. It can be purchased online for about $15, including shipping, from Radio Shack. There are pillow speakers that are sold with volume control. While Radio Shack’s pillow speaker doesn’t have that feature, we’re pretty happy with it. My husband prepares his clothing the night before to minimize the banging of the drawer and the slamming of the closet door – because the early morning noise doesn’t exactly end with the alarm clock. It’s just the beginning.

I hope this helps! Good luck! Sincerely,

Another Wife Who Doesn’t Like Being Woken Up Early

 

Dear Another Wife:

Thank you for sharing your great ideas.

The vasikin letter elicited several angry responses from readers. Interestingly, most were from men, upset that the letter writer’s husband woke her up early by not taking his wife’s need for sleep into consideration.

Once again, I appreciate your practical and helpful tips about how to deal with a husband or wife who must get up earlier than his or her spouse. Hatzlachah!

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Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to [email protected]. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.