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April 17, 2014 / 17 Nisan, 5774
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To A Lonely Wife: Give It A Rest!


Respler-031612

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While I appreciate your letter, you are perhaps being harsh on the younger generation. I understand your feelings since I am probably in the same generation as you, and we had no expectations from our parents. In fact, we mostly thought about how we could take care of them. You seem to be reflecting the feelings of many of our contemporaries.

The letter writer appeared to exhibit derech eretz for the parents that were mentioned. As we age, we often realize how hard it is to raise children. This makes us admire our parents more, seeing less of their faults. However, I take issue with you that therapists encourage a lack of derech eretz. In my column, it is imperative that I look at all sides of the situation. Since it is unclear as to exactly what is transpiring, the goal is to promote shalom on all sides.

People sometimes give with too many strings attached. As those factors were unclear in that column, I tried to answer by offering many possibilities. Thank you for taking the time to write. Hatzlachah!

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Respler-041814

Dear Dr. Yael:

My heart is breaking; my husband’s friend has gotten divorced. While this type of situation is always sad, here I do believe it could have been avoided.

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Respler-041814

Dear Dr. Yael:

My heart is breaking; my husband’s friend has gotten divorced. While this type of situation is always sad, here I do believe it could have been avoided.

Respler-041114

I agree with the letter writer that a shadchan should respectfully and graciously accept a negative response to a shidduch offer.

By employing this new countermove, the scenario will likely change.

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Dear Anonymous:

Thank you for your amazing letter. I wish you hatzlachah in your new marriage, and may your letter bring more sensitivity to others regarding this issue.

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