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Most people do not consciously think that they are fearful of marrying because they do not want to experience any further loss in life. But opening up one’s self to another person makes us vulnerable, and when someone loses a parent the child may have difficulty with that vulnerability. Furthermore, although difficulty with feeling vulnerable is a common issue with singles, it is possible that the added trauma of losing a parent can exacerbate this issue.

It would be valuable for anyone who struggles with these difficulties to seek professional help in order to work through whatever obstacles are impeding his or her life growth. We hope our thoughts are helpful to you and to our readers, and welcome comments on this complex subject. Hopefully, people who lost their parents and married at a young age will share their ideas on this matter with us.

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I wish you hatzlachah and hope that you and your brother find your basherts as soon as possible!

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Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to deardryael@aol.com. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.
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