Part 10 – Empathize With Your Spouse

Posted on: April 10th, 2009

To feel loved and nurtured, your spouses need to feel that you empathize with their emotions. The key is empathy. Empathy isn’t the same as sympathy or pity. It means being able to put yourself in another’s position, to feel what they feel and see what they see, without losing yourself in the process.

The Significance Of Saying Dayenu

Posted on: April 7th, 2009

The pictures had been removed from the wall a while back. Carefully and methodically, they had been placed in the back of her desk drawer, a spot that could be reached only if one were looking for something intentionally. Other pictures were inconspicuously hanging in the corner, situated on a wall blocked by a large, mismatched piece of furniture. There were also loose photographs, neatly stacked in their original envelope, discreetly placed in an unmarked folder located in the back of her filing cabinet.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 4/09/09

Posted on: April 7th, 2009

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Part 9 – Mirroring Your Spouse’s Feelings

Posted on: April 3rd, 2009

Mirroring is a good way to start actively listening to each other. To mirror, you simply paraphrase or repeat back to your spouses what they are saying to you.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 4/03/09

Posted on: April 1st, 2009

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Part 8 – The Art of Communication

Posted on: March 27th, 2009

David (name changed) and his wife had been married for 15 years and believed they knew what each other really wanted. While attending a marriage seminar on communication, David and his wife listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.”

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 3/27/09

Posted on: March 25th, 2009

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At-Risk Is At Risk

Posted on: March 18th, 2009

With the economy heading south, we are all looking for ways to cut back on our expenses. I guess that's good news for Motel 6, pawnshops and "Dollar Stores," but it's a pretty lousy development for anyone running a nonprofit organization (like me) because practically everyone except bankruptcy attorneys earns less money in times like these. Less money means less charity giving. Gulp!

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 3/20/09

Posted on: March 18th, 2009

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Part 7 – Individuality in Marriage

Posted on: March 18th, 2009

One of the most powerful dimensions of a successful marriage is a couple's ability to keep focused on each other's good points and unique personality traits. Too often, people become fixated on the negative. They "sweat over the small stuff," and forget about the positive points that brought them together in the first place.

‘That’s How I Was Raised And I Turned Out Okay!’ (Conclusion)

Posted on: March 18th, 2009

"What do you mean, 'controlling'? This is called parenting! I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. I'm being responsible. I'm parenting my children the same way my parents parented me. If it worked then, there's nothing to question; it'll work now. Besides, look at me; I turned out okay!"

‘That’s How I Was Raised And I Turned Out Okay!’ (First of Two Parts)

Posted on: March 11th, 2009

There is something to be said about hearing a story with a yiddishe ta'am (taste). However, when the context changes, and the cultural inflection and accent are omitted, the panache wanes. Such was my recent experience after having heard a well-known tale modified to suit the eclectic assemblage of the audience. For you, my dear readership, though, I offer the original version as I heard it many years ago (for a deeper experience, as you read the text imagine how these characters would sound and look).

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 3/13/09

Posted on: March 11th, 2009

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Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 3/06/09

Posted on: March 4th, 2009

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Helping Children Cope With Trauma

Posted on: March 4th, 2009

Dear Rabbi Horowitz: Our family is recovering from the terrible, unexpected loss of a loved one who passed away far too young. My husband and I have differing views on seeking professional help to help our children cope with the tragedy. (Thankfully, at least on the surface, they all seem to be doing well.) I am strongly in favor of seeking this help, while my husband, who is an amazing father and has been our bedrock throughout this ordeal, thinks that we should leave well enough alone and not subject our children to the agony of pouring their hearts out to a stranger. We are regular readers of your columns and recently re-read your "Open Letter to Teens Who Lost a Parent," where you very clearly encourage them to seek help if they are having difficulty dealing with their grief. But what if they don't seem to be exhibiting any such signs? We would greatly appreciate your thoughts on this matter. Respectfully, Susan

Part 6 – Self-Esteem And Its Impact On Marriage

Posted on: March 4th, 2009

Self-esteem is one of the most important factors influencing human behavior. Despite what some people believe, self-esteem can be a critical issue in marriage, where unresolved identity issues from childhood can place unwanted stress on a relationship.

Why Do You Hurt Yourself

Posted on: February 25th, 2009

I recently saw a sign that read: "There are a million reasons for abuse, but not a single excuse." Sharon* (name has been changed) came into my office last week after being a client for almost a year. Over the past few weeks, she has been working towards disclosing a "secret." Finally, through an established trusting relationship, Sharon was ready to tell me her "secret." She is 16 years old and has had a 19-year-old boyfriend for almost a year. She was finally able to disclose to me how abusive this young man has been to her. Having told me of various forms of abuse, she also stated how angry she is at him, while at the same time she says that she cares for him.

Part 5 – The Road Map To A Happy Marriage

Posted on: February 25th, 2009

Finding direction in marriage is similar to going on a long journey. To get to where you want to go, you will need to have a plan that includes directions, supplies and someone to navigate along the way.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 2/27/09

Posted on: February 25th, 2009

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Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 02/20/09

Posted on: February 18th, 2009

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