Why Do You Hurt Yourself

Posted on: February 25th, 2009

I recently saw a sign that read: "There are a million reasons for abuse, but not a single excuse." Sharon* (name has been changed) came into my office last week after being a client for almost a year. Over the past few weeks, she has been working towards disclosing a "secret." Finally, through an established trusting relationship, Sharon was ready to tell me her "secret." She is 16 years old and has had a 19-year-old boyfriend for almost a year. She was finally able to disclose to me how abusive this young man has been to her. Having told me of various forms of abuse, she also stated how angry she is at him, while at the same time she says that she cares for him.

Part 5 – The Road Map To A Happy Marriage

Posted on: February 25th, 2009

Finding direction in marriage is similar to going on a long journey. To get to where you want to go, you will need to have a plan that includes directions, supplies and someone to navigate along the way.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 2/27/09

Posted on: February 25th, 2009

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Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 02/20/09

Posted on: February 18th, 2009

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Now She’s Speaking… Now She’s Not: Examining The Mystery Of Selective Mutism

Posted on: February 18th, 2009

Of all the various disorders and syndromes that affect children in our community, I wonder if any is as misunderstood or puzzling as "selective mutism." Until very recently, professionals and educators just assumed that children with selective mutism were actually being silent "on purpose." It is only within the last year or two that we have discovered that it's really not under the child's control.

Part 4 – Investing In Your Relationship

Posted on: February 11th, 2009

I often share with my clients a simple yet powerful analogy: to think about their relationship as they do about their bank account. That's because investing in your relationship is similar to saving money; the more you put into your bank account or relationship, the more you can take out when necessary.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 2/13/09

Posted on: February 11th, 2009

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Part 3 – Why Most Marriages Can Work

Posted on: February 6th, 2009

Mordechai, 36, and Chani, 35, were married for six years and came to ask me for advice on how to save their relationship. They seemed to have everything going for them. They were working professionals, successful and upwardly mobile; they shared many common factors including similar religious beliefs, intelligence levels, and were both pleasantly extroverted.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 2/06/09

Posted on: February 4th, 2009

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Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 1/30/09

Posted on: January 28th, 2009

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Midwinter Break

Posted on: January 28th, 2009

Dear Rabbi Horowitz: We find ourselves faced with an increasingly challenging experience each year when midwinter break comes around. Some of our children's friends go on expensive vacations with their families, and our kids are asking us to send them on similar trips. Our children are respectful whenever they discuss this with us, but there is a clear sense that they feel "left out" because they don't go to the exotic location like some of their friends.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 1/23/09

Posted on: January 21st, 2009

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Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 1/16/09

Posted on: January 14th, 2009

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‘Bet ‘ya can’t make me!’ – The Impact Of External Control (Part II)

Posted on: January 14th, 2009

In Part I, a distinction was made between two relationship methodologies, both of which are discussed in Dr. William Glasser's book, Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom. Glasser compares the use of External Control Psychology (i.e., manipulate, punish, criticize, blame, nag, and even reward) to Choice Theory, an empowering model based on an internal system of values, upgrading one's character traits and allowing natural consequences to "police" behaviors.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 1/09/09

Posted on: January 7th, 2009

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The ‘P’ in PTA: How Parents Can Make The Grade At The PTA Meeting

Posted on: January 7th, 2009

It's PTA time again. That means lots of studying for kids, test grading for teachers, and standing in line for parents. It also means lots of opportunities, as the adults in a child's life get together on his or her behalf. There's much more than sore feet on the line at the three-minute conference. PTA can be a catalyst for tremendous growth, if parents and teachers work together.

‘Bet ‘ya can’t make me!’ – The Impact Of External Control (Part I)

Posted on: January 7th, 2009

Thinking back to my childhood years, I recall a "dare" expression one child would bark to another: "Make me; bet'ya can't make me!" I didn't think much about the term back then, other than my associating it with bullying. Today, though, I view it on a more profound level, especially in regard to the parent populace.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 1/02/09

Posted on: December 31st, 2008

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Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 12/26/08

Posted on: December 24th, 2008

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IQ vs. EIQ: Why Being Smart Isn’t Enough

Posted on: December 24th, 2008

Chaim Schwartz* is the recognized genius of the class. He gets 100% on every test, understands the most difficult Gemaras and makes complicated math computations in his head in seconds. But for all his genius he can't seem to make a single friend.