Stacy and Michael walked out of the marriage counselor's office angrier than when they arrived. It was their third session and this last fight over his ex wife wasn't going away. The fifty minutes embroiled in a detailed outline of the battle only fired up their anger and the counselor's request to remember how much they love each other wasn't helping. It would be a week before the next session and both of them were already talking about not returning for therapy.
When was the last time you grabbed a cup of coffee with a friend? When did you last make a new friend? Chances are, that if you are a mother, the answer is “a long time ago.” Research shows that women with children spend an average of five hours per week with friends, whereas before having children women spend an average of fourteen hours with friends. This would not be an issue if friendships were not so vital to our health and happiness.
Due to her family situation, it is understandable that she will have more responsibilities than other girls her age, but she would benefit from having some free time and receiving more appreciation for her hard work.
For children, summer means outdoor sports, picnics, and of course, no school! Teachers and students work hard all year long – and everyone deserves a break from education over the summer. However, this two-month break can often have some pretty devastating consequences.
It was only after we celebrated the great news that we were expecting twins that we saw the first sign of problems. First of all, my wife was losing, not gaining weight, even as the babies continued to grow normally. Soon after, routine blood work revealed that my wife was suffering from gestational diabetes.
Dear Dr. Yael: My husband and I are married for three years and want to have children. Thus I’m undergoing fertility treatment, and gaining weight as a result. At a wedding I recently attended, everyone was looking at my stomach. Someone actually approached me and said, smiling, “I see that you put on some weight, so when is the baby due?”
Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire, If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
PART TWO: P.R.A.Y. (Thinking It Through: Prevention, Recognition, Avoid, [It’s] Your Decision)
Journaling, putting your feelings down on paper, is a well known method of coping with difficult or traumatic experiences. In fact there have been studies done that seem to prove that people who "journal" live happier, healthier lives. In his book Writing to Heal, James Pennebaker, Professor and Chair of the Psychology Department at the University of Texas at Austin, explores this concept. He stresses that when we write about trauma, emotional upheavals or difficult issues we are struggling with, the "heart rates slow, blood pressure drops and immune systems strengthen.”
While days off from school can be daunting for all parents with young children, for parents of children with ADHD, they can be thoroughly frightening. Children who have ADHD have trouble sitting still, focusing on one thing at one time, and attending to details. While their attention seems unfocused, it is actually multi-focused. Their mind takes in multiple stimuli at once, making it hard to engage in one activity for long periods of time. Therefore, entertaining children with ADHD all day can often feel like an exercise in frustration with children “bouncing off of the walls.”
Control may be the most destructive force influencing a marriage. Let me illustrate this point with the following story. About two years ago a woman named Bracha, 47, came to speak to me about her husband’s controlling behavior. This is how she described her precarious situation:
PART ONE: H.O.P.E. (Hold On, Pain Ends!)
We found flowers and plants in countless colors; we watched people ard at work tending to their gardens and even saw apple, lemon and orange trees.
The father’s story: What’s your parenting philosophy? How do you feel about discipline? What educational approach do you find most compatible with the sum of yours and your child’s personalities?
I read the May 10 letter in your column from H.S. (Depression: Not A Hopeless Malady) regarding her husband’s rabbi’s view about depression, and your response to it.
Dear Dr. Yael: Do you really believe that the Internet is the reason why the divorce rate is so high among young couples? This may be so in some cases, but what about the fact that many singles are pressured to get married at a young age despite not having any idea what they are looking for in a mate? And add to that the fact that many are pressured to make a decision about marriage after dating for a very short period of time.
From the moment they stand under the chuppah, newlyweds have two years to enjoy the special bliss that new love brings. This new finding, reported by the New York Times, is based on a study undertaken by American and European researchers. 1,761 people who got married and stayed married over 15 years were followed. The research shows that after two years the couples moved into a more companionable state in their relationships.
Shel Silverstein’s 1974 poem “Where The Sidewalk Ends” is intended to paint a magical picture of a world of peace and serenity far away from the “black and dark streets.” At the time, perhaps the end of the sidewalk was a place that was “measured and slow.” Today, however, for many parents, where the sidewalk ends can feel like a scary place.
The two proceeded to talk about everyday things and surprisingly her mother-in-law did not find anything else to criticize. This occurred a few more times, with my client changing the topic every time by complimenting her mother-in-law or mentioning something positive about her.
There is always a lot of confusion surrounding sensory processing disorder – mainly because there are many different diagnoses that fall under the catch-all phrase sensory processing disorder (SPD). Among them are three specific subcategories:
The doctor had warned us that even if we did everything right and followed the protocol after the follicle was of the right size, there was no guarantee of success. Fertilization still had to occur, and just like couples do not necessarily become pregnant every month, we had no way to know if we were actually expecting for two full weeks.