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Part 28 – Healthy Marriages Equal Longer Life Expectancy

9 Elul 5769 – August 28, 2009
Can improving your marriage help you live longer? A fascinating study led by researchers at Hebrew University revealed that Bnei Brak, an Israeli city that has one of the highest proportions of ultra-Orthodox Jews, also had the longest life expectancy in Israel. This is what the report found:

A Torah Perspectives On Educating Our Children About Sexuality (Part I)

6 Elul 5769 – August 26, 2009
While once it may have seemed possible to shelter our children from inappropriate exposure to sexuality, today it seems to be an impossible goal. While some families have been successful in insulating their children from the Internet, movies, and other harmful aspects of secular culture, many families have not been as successful. And, even those parents have made every effort to appropriately safeguard their children may find themselves unhappily surprised at what they have been exposed to by their friends. In addition, outdoor secular media such as billboards, bus ads and newspaper covers portray disturbingly graphic images that force us to confront the fact that our children are being exposed to ideas and ways of life we may consider to be harmful to their souls and their mental health.

How Can We Prevent Abuse?

Chaya's older yeshiva-bochur brother told her that there was no problem with his touching her body. He told her it wasn't against the Torah, and he seemed to know a lot more Torah than she did at the tender age of 6. He continued to touch her first over her clothes, but as the years passed, the abuse progressed to actual rape. Eventually he got married and started a family, appearing to function just fine to nearly everyone in the community. However, he left his younger sister, now in her late twenties, crippled - emotionally, sexually and spiritually.

The P’TACH Miracle

2 Elul 5769 – August 21, 2009
One of the leading factors influencing family life is the intellectual and emotional development of the children. In most families, the children grow up healthy, happy and able to fulfill their academic or Torah-based goals. But what happens when a child is perpetually falling behind and is then diagnosed with a learning disability?

Who You Calling Lazy?

29 Av 5769 – August 19, 2009
Have you ever experienced a scenario similar to the following? "My son, Ari (fictitious name) had been making an effort to study so he could get good grades. We arranged for twice a week tutoring in the evening, and that was after a long day at school. He wants to succeed. All children want to succeed. He'd like to see comments such as "great job" at the top of his homework. He'd also prefer having test sheets with fewer red X's and "F's" at the top of his papers (circled for emphasis in the event the "F" goes unnoticed).

Look Out – Real Life Ahead!

After returning from a year of studying in seminary in Eretz Yisrael, Feigi was ready to join the "real world." Seminary had been a wonderful, spiritually uplifting experience, but now it was time to settle down, find a job, and think about what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. Feigi started job hunting. She had excellent credentials and was perfectly qualified to start a career in any of a variety of fields. Yet despite her intelligence and willingness to work, she was unable to focus on a clear sense of direction.

Part 27 – Refocusing Your Perspective On Your In-laws

25 Av 5769 – August 14, 2009
The number one factor in resolving problems of acceptance by in-laws is your spouse’s support. As with all close relationships, it’s an art to support your spouse without jumping into the fight or feeding his or her discontent.

Heroics Or Hope

22 Av 5769 – August 12, 2009
Like medical doctors, every therapist is tormented at times with the question of the hopelessness or hopefulness of a marriage or any other relationship. Everyone is anxious to know if the "broken" spouse/child/parent/sibling can be fixed. With desperation in their voices, they ask, "Can medication, therapy or other interventions turn him/her around and stop him/her from being so depressed, anxious, addicted or angry?" How can a therapist say, "There is no hope."?

Part 26 – Relating To Your In-laws

18 Av 5769 – August 7, 2009
You may think you said “I do” to just one person on your wedding day, but the reality of married life is that you actually vowed to honor several people. Marriage comes with new challenges; some of which you had no idea were waiting for you.

The Day I Didn’t Lose My Father

15 Av 5769 – August 5, 2009
I entered the room and saw the body. There were also two men in the room. When they saw me, one asked, "Are you Stan's son?" I was silent. "I guess you are," he said, "You look like he probably did." And then he floored me. "Do you want to identify the body?" The words hit me like a ton of bricks. How could I identify the body of a man who walked out of my life 42 years ago? Would he look anything like the millions of images I conjured up over the years? Would he look like a devil? A demon? I had stopped believing in him when I was about 16. He was a phantom who appeared every now and then in conversation. He got me into a good college - writing about him in my application essay had generated some sympathy.

Im Yirtzeh Hashem

With Tu B'Av - a holiday renowned for women "dancing in the fields" and meeting a man - falling out on Wednesday, August 5, we'd like to share the following annual letter:

Part 25 – Learning To Be Content

11 Av 5769 – July 31, 2009
One of the most important ways a couple can manage money together is to learn the art of contentment. We have already discussed how making a budget can be a very simple way to start saving money.

Now I Know Why I Survived

8 Av 5769 – July 29, 2009
Flip Wilson was a famous comedian and television actor who once used the line, "The Devil made me do it." At the time it was funny, though pretty soon completely overused. In hindsight, the quote can be a pretty accurate description of the misguidance of our youth, as well as many adults. Could this be another means of blaming the yetzer ha'ra for our misdeeds? Can we really get away with anything if it's not our fault or was an accident? What about the concept of "responsibility," how do we teach that to our children?

Part 24 – Making a Monthly Budget

1 Av 5769 – July 22, 2009
There's no getting around it: in marriage, a budget is a requirement for good money management. A budget is simply (1) a tool to increase your consciousness of how and where you spend your money, and (2) a guideline to help you spend your money on the things that are most important to you. Following a budget can create money for savings, where you thought there was none.

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Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/part-28-healthy-marriages-equal-longer-life-expectancy/2009/08/28/

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