Photo Credit: Jewish Press

Q: I am a terrible procrastinator – constantly putting off paying my bills, organizing my closets, or even washing my dishes after I cook for Shabbos. I know that I shouldn’t put off to tomorrow what I can do today, but I just have no idea how to get myself moving. Is there any hope for my procrastination?

 

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A: Procrastination, like any bad habit, is not an easy thing to kick, but it is possible. Bad habits, such as nail biting, compulsive shopping, over-scheduling, or putting yourself down, are something become ingrained in our psyche. However, they are all things that can be overcome.

Replace lost needs. For many people, bad habits fill specific needs. For instance, nail biting relieves anxiety and procrastination simulates relaxation. You can’t expect to cut out bad habits completely without feeling any repercussions. Therefore, think about what the bad habit provides you with (anxiety relief, relaxation, feeling loved). Then, figure out a way to replace that need with something that is less destructive. If procrastination makes you feel relaxed choose another form of relaxation that is scheduled into your day. And then tell yourself that that there is no procrastination allowed – you have already done your relaxing.

Avoid triggers. Often, bad habits will be prompted by familiar objects or places – otherwise known as “triggers.” These triggers could be a favorite store for shopaholics or getting on the scale for people who constantly put themselves down. The best way to not fall back into bad habits is to avoid those triggers to begin with – so if you procrastinate by talking on the phone, don’t walk around with your cell phone or cordless. Instead, keep all phones someplace where you cannot easily access them.

Write it down. Nothing helps you stick to a goal more than writing it down. It is very easy to dismiss thoughts, but not very easy to dismiss written notes to yourself. Write down the habit you are trying to kick – and how you plan to do it. This reinforces the idea in your mind and doesn’t allow you to shirk your responsibility later.

Keep it simple. Don’t make a million little rules that you need to follow in order to kick your bad habit. Instead, come up with one or two simple guidelines. For instance, don’t go to sleep with dishes in the sink or Mondays are bill-paying days. With simple rules, you will be able to follow through on your goals.

30, 90, 365. Behavioral experts believe that there are three benchmarks when trying to gain a new habit or get rid of an old habit. The first thirty days require the most will power, and chances are you will have to constantly remind yourself to stick to your plans. After ninety days, if you are sticking to your goals, the bad habit should be neutralized – you will no longer need to actively fight it. After a full year, the bad habit should be kicked, simply a remnant of the past.

Obviously, a year is a very long time to work consistently at something in order to achieve a goal. However, think about how much happier and fuller your life could be without your bad habits slowing you down.What are you waiting for? Start today!

 

Register now for a mindsets and ADHD workshop by Dr. Robert Brooks on November 13, 2018. Please call Mrs. Schonfeld at 718-382-5437 for more information.

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An acclaimed educator and social skills ​specialist​, Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has served the Jewish community for close to thirty years. She founded and directs the widely acclaimed educational program, SOS, servicing all grade levels in secular as well as Hebrew studies. A kriah and reading specialist, she has given dynamic workshops and has set up reading labs in many schools. In addition, she offers evaluations G.E.D. preparation, social skills training and shidduch coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness. She can be reached at 718-382-5437 or at rifkaschonfeld@gmail.com.