Photo Credit: Rifka Schonfeld

Q: Is it just me or do more boys than girls have ADHD?

A: While it’s true that the majority of those suffering from ADHD are male, there are a surprising amount of women dealing with it as well. According to one study at Harvard University, about forty percent of those with ADHD are women – except that many women remain undiagnosed or misdiagnosed.

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Many psychologists and educators theorize that girls are less likely to be diagnosed with ADHD because their symptoms differ greatly from those of boys. Whereas many boys with ADHD are running around the classroom and causing disruptions, many girls with ADHD are simply staring straight ahead at the teacher but have no idea what the teacher is trying to say. These girls underfunction throughout elementary school, even though they are bright. Many do not receive a diagnosis and simply believe that they are “not good at school.”

Instead, girls with ADHD are labeled as “chatty,” constantly telling animated stories to their friends. Alternatively, girls with ADHD might be thought of as “daydreamers,” intelligent, but shy. “Girls with ADHD remain an enigma – often overlooked, misunderstood and hotly debated,” says Ellen Littman, PhD, one of the first psychologists and researchers to focus on gender differences in ADHD and to advocate for a reexamination of how the disorder is defined.

 

Q: What are the symptoms associated with ADHD in adult women?

A: I see many women who do not realize they have ADHD until they bring their child in for an evaluation. On occasion, after her child has finished testing, a mother will ask to speak to me privately. Often she will explain that through her child’s testing, she realized that she shares many of the same symptoms. It is only then that she realizes that perhaps her inability to keep track of all the different elements of her complex life have nothing to do with her intentions and everything to do with ADHD. Together, we then work out a plan to aid her in combating the disorder and adding some order to her life.

 

For women, there are many issues that coincide with undiagnosed ADHD:

Anxiety and depression. Many women experience anxiety or depression as a result of ADHD. They do not understand why they cannot just concentrate and function the way the rest of the world seems to function. This deflated sense of self is often linked to anxiety or depression.

Obesity and eating disorders. Research has correlated women with ADHD having a higher chance of being overweight or having an eating disorder. Since organization is used to plan a healthy diet and make time to exercise regularly, women with undiagnosed ADHD tend to grab quick meals or look to food to provide comfort from their other symptoms.

Addictions. Both men and women with ADHD are at a higher risk for harmful addictions such as substance abuse or gambling. This is because those with ADHD have weaker impulse control and therefore have more trouble stopping from engaging in this addictive activity.

 

Q: What can you do for children with Attention Deficit Disorder or Executive Function Disorder to help them make friends?

A: It’s clear how ADHD and EFD can affect a child’s academic performance, but what’s not always obvious is how it can affect children socially. Amanda Morin, the author of The Everything Parent’s Guide to Special Education, explains four social challenges that children with ADHD or EFD can experience:

Losing things he borrowed or forgetting appointments. Losing friends’ items and missing important events can get even the best of friends upset. Children who struggle with this element of ADHD or EFD should keep calendars and lists of borrowed items. If possible, parents should also encourage the borrowing of items only in the friends’ presence.

Blurting out whatever is on his mind. Not everyone wants to know exactly what the other person is thinking. Sometimes that can be hurtful and offensive. Practice speaking respectfully and filtering thoughts and actions with your child through role-play.

Having trouble understanding other people’s viewpoints. Without certain executive functions, it’s hard to recognize other people’s perspectives. You can play social games with your child, especially specifically designed flash cards with pictures and emotions in order to help your child understand his friends’ reactions.

Having meltdowns at social events. Children with ADHD or EFD can have trouble regulating their emotions when presented with new situations. You can play a wordless “Follow the Leader” with your child at home to help him practice responding to new social situations in the future.

Raising a child with ADHD or EFD is not easy – in or out of school. But, the more we learn about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Executive Function Disorder, the more we understand how to help children struggling to get their own lives under control. We can help our children learn and grow. With the right tools, we can help them develop into successful and socially-skilled adults.

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An acclaimed educator and social skills ​specialist​, Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has served the Jewish community for close to thirty years. She founded and directs the widely acclaimed educational program, SOS, servicing all grade levels in secular as well as Hebrew studies. A kriah and reading specialist, she has given dynamic workshops and has set up reading labs in many schools. In addition, she offers evaluations G.E.D. preparation, social skills training and shidduch coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness. She can be reached at 718-382-5437 or at [email protected].