Most often unbalanced monetary support of the children is in direct relation to the discord between the former spouses leading to battles in the financial arena. “Power play” becomes their new method of communication, and money is used to control. Jealousy or feelings of hurt and abandonment that have not been worked through fuel the fire and exacerbate the issues. Ultimately it is the relationship between parent and child that suffers the most.
After living it from several perspectives, as a mom having sole custody of her children and in partnering in the raising of my stepchildren whom my husband supported financially and shared physical custody of, it is my conclusion that although finances should not be an indicator of the level of affection and love parents feel towards their children, “support” in the greater sense is. Children need to be cared for in every sense of the word, financially, physically and emotionally. The day your child is born, the day you become a parent is the day that obligation begins, and I have yet to meet a truly caring and “supportive” parent for whom those obligations have ended completely. Of course as our children reach adulthood and venture out on their own they need our support in different ways; but being supportive is the special way parents communicate love to their children.
About the Author: Yehudit welcomes and encourages input and feedback on issues relating to the Blended Family and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org
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