web analytics
January 27, 2015 / 7 Shevat, 5775
 
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Improving A Child’s Derech Eretz

Respler-062912

Don’t be surprised if there are setbacks; they are bound to happen. You may be tired and snap at one of your children, which may cause him or her to react disrespectfully. Your children may be tired or hungry and may speak to you disrespectfully. The key is not to let these kinds of situations snowball and become the norm. If you snap at one of the kids, you can apologize and then remind your children that even though adults make mistakes, they are still required to speak with you respectfully – no matter what you say. Explain to them that when they are in a bad mood, you will try to remain calm so that you can help them feel better. Also tell them that they should try to do the same for you. And if they make the effort to listen to you and subsequently speak respectfully, make sure to praise them generously and tell your husband – in their presence – how proud you are of them. Be descriptive in your praise, expanding on what took place. This will help the child in question feel that you really paid attention, and that you are truly proud of him or her. While general praise is nice, specific praise is much more meaningful.

Lastly, do not personalize your children’s actions. Too often we do that, causing us to get very upset and thus react badly. If you take a step back when your child is disrespectful and see it as a teaching moment instead of a personal affront, you will be much better equipped to respond calmly and successfully. Your children are likely reacting to whatever internal feelings they are experiencing and are not acting disrespectfully because they do not respect you. If you are able to internalize this, you will have accomplished a lot.

Most children want to please their parents, but they do not listen because they want to be independent or they are feeling hungry, tired, insecure, etc. If you think their behavior is due to the desire to be independent, give your child two choices pertaining to a matter that interests them. (Make sure that you are comfortable with the choices you’re offering.) This will help them feel as if they are in control of the situation.

I hope these ideas are helpful. If my suggestions go beyond the depth of the problem, please seek professional help before the problem becomes more significant. Hatzlachah!

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Improving A Child’s Derech Eretz”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Hassnain Aliamin , one of four Muslim teenagers who attacked a Jew in Gateshead.
‘Let’s Go Jew-Bashing’ Muslims Hauled into British Court
Latest Sections Stories
Resnick-012315-Artist

Nouril concluded he had no choice: He had to become more observant.

Respler-012315

I find his mother to be a difficult person and my nature is to stay away from people like that.

Here are some recipes to make your Chag La’Illanot a festive one.

Baim-012315

Does standing under the chuppah signal the end of our dream of romance and beautiful sunsets?

We aren’t at a platform; we are underground, just sitting there.

Dr. Lowy believed passionately in higher education for both men and women and would stop at nothing to assist young students in achieving their educational goals.

It’s almost pointless to try to summarize all of the fascinating information that Holzer’s research unearthed.

The special charm of these letters is their immediacy and authenticity of emotion and description.

Why is there such a steep learning curve for teachers? And what can we, as educators and community activists, do better in the educational system and keep first-year teachers in the job?

Teachers, as well as administrators, must be actively involved in the daily prayers that transpire at a school and must set the bar as dugmaot ishiot, role models, on how one must daven.

Often both girls and boys compare their date to their parents.

We love the food, the hotels, and even the wildlife. We love the Israelis.

Few traces remain of the glory days of Jewish life in the kingdoms of Sicily and Naples, but the demise wasn’t due to the eruption of nearby Mount Vesuvius. Rather it was a manmade volcano called the Edict of Expulsion from Spain – and not even an invitation to return in Shevat of 1740 could […]

More Articles from Dr. Yael Respler
Respler-012315

I find his mother to be a difficult person and my nature is to stay away from people like that.

Respler-011615

Often both girls and boys compare their date to their parents.

The Moroccan wife’s chief pride is showing that she ought to win the prize for the most attentive and solicitous spouse and mother.

Both parties need to become more tolerant of one another.

I think a major problem within the “single” community is the pressure to get married ASAP.

How many potential shidduchim are not coming about because we, the mothers, are not allowing them to go through?

I so desperately want to have a loving relationship with my stepsons.

Isn’t there anyone making a simcha who understands that loud music can cause hearing loss?

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/improving-a-childs-derech-eretz/2012/06/28/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: