web analytics
March 26, 2015 / 6 Nisan, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Improving A Child’s Derech Eretz

Respler-062912

Don’t be surprised if there are setbacks; they are bound to happen. You may be tired and snap at one of your children, which may cause him or her to react disrespectfully. Your children may be tired or hungry and may speak to you disrespectfully. The key is not to let these kinds of situations snowball and become the norm. If you snap at one of the kids, you can apologize and then remind your children that even though adults make mistakes, they are still required to speak with you respectfully – no matter what you say. Explain to them that when they are in a bad mood, you will try to remain calm so that you can help them feel better. Also tell them that they should try to do the same for you. And if they make the effort to listen to you and subsequently speak respectfully, make sure to praise them generously and tell your husband – in their presence – how proud you are of them. Be descriptive in your praise, expanding on what took place. This will help the child in question feel that you really paid attention, and that you are truly proud of him or her. While general praise is nice, specific praise is much more meaningful.

Lastly, do not personalize your children’s actions. Too often we do that, causing us to get very upset and thus react badly. If you take a step back when your child is disrespectful and see it as a teaching moment instead of a personal affront, you will be much better equipped to respond calmly and successfully. Your children are likely reacting to whatever internal feelings they are experiencing and are not acting disrespectfully because they do not respect you. If you are able to internalize this, you will have accomplished a lot.

Most children want to please their parents, but they do not listen because they want to be independent or they are feeling hungry, tired, insecure, etc. If you think their behavior is due to the desire to be independent, give your child two choices pertaining to a matter that interests them. (Make sure that you are comfortable with the choices you’re offering.) This will help them feel as if they are in control of the situation.

I hope these ideas are helpful. If my suggestions go beyond the depth of the problem, please seek professional help before the problem becomes more significant. Hatzlachah!

About the Author: Letters may be emailed to deardryael@aol.com. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Improving A Child’s Derech Eretz”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Jon Karl of ABC asks White House Press Secretary, "Yemen is a model of US strategy?"
White House Insists Chaotic Yemen a ‘Model’ for Obama’s War on Terror
Latest Sections Stories
Baim-032015

First, sit down with your helpers and a pen and paper and break the jobs down into small parts.

Food-Talk---Eller-logo

Kitchen surfing is a unique concept that brings professional chefs to your home to prepare a meal in your own kitchen.

A lot of people have heard about dyslexia, a learning disability that concerns reading.

I believe that Hashem will only bring Moshiach when we finally achieve achdus.

He always impressed me with his brilliance and erudition. But it was his warm remarks and his sincere concern that made me want to please him.

Often I open Haggadot and find depictions of the Makos or slavery that I find troubling for a young audience.

Because birth order can affect most children in similar fashion, there are things you can do to help your children overcome weaknesses that birth order has thrown their way.

There’s so much he could do
Resources are not few
He refuses to end all
His SILENCE.

Playing a musical instrument can help build faith in yourself as you observe yourself do something splendidly.

The task of studying Latin may not be a worthy endeavor to most of the population, but for those who plan on going into medicine or law it may not be such a bad idea.

More Articles from Dr. Yael Respler
Respler-032015

I believe that Hashem will only bring Moshiach when we finally achieve achdus.

Respler-logo-NEW

I love my husband dearly and I do everything to make him happy.

Men and women have different roles to play in marriages and as parents.

The husband needs to make some changes!

Whenever he did anything loving for me, I made a big deal about it.

She says that they are our children and since she brings in half, or sometimes more than half of our parnassah, we need to be full partners in their chinuch.

I surprise my wife with gifts, large and small.

They are like children keeping count of who changed how many diapers each day.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/improving-a-childs-derech-eretz/2012/06/28/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: