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October 1, 2014 / 7 Tishri, 5775
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Investing In Your Relationship


Schonbuch-Rabbi-Daniel

A learning disorder is defined as difficulty in an academic area (reading, mathematics or written expression). The child’s ability to achieve in the specific academic area is below what is expected for the child’s age, educational level, and level of intelligence. The difficulty experienced by the child is severe enough to interfere with academic achievement or age-appropriate activities of daily living.

 

Types of learning disabilities include

  • Dyslexia
  • Disorder of written expression
  • Mathematics disorder

 

With dyslexia a child has difficulty learning to read and understand written language. Even children with average or above-average intelligence, plenty of motivation, and ample opportunities to read can have dyslexia. Because children with dyslexia have trouble making the connection between letters and their sounds, they often also have difficulty with spelling, writing, and speaking.

Disorder of written expression is characterized by poor writing skills. And mathematics disorder is a condition characterized by mathematical ability substantially below expectation given a child’s age, general intelligence, and education.

An estimated “ten to 30 percent of children have learning disorders. Mathematics disorder is estimated to affect 1 percent of school-aged children. Reading disorders are more common in children of parents who experienced a learning disorder. Boys are more likely to be diagnosed with a reading disorder than girls.”

Although the exact reasons for learning disorders are not known, they are believed to involve an abnormality in the nervous system, either in the structure of the brain or in the functioning of brain chemicals. This difference in the nervous system causes the child with a learning disorder to receive, process, or communicate information differently than other children.

Children with learning disorders have an even harder time in schools where students are required to read and translate at least two languages.  For those with a learning disability – especially a reading or language disorder – learning may be a very difficult and unpleasant task.  Boys, for example, who can’t learn Talmud often feel alienated from religious society and drop out of the religious system altogether.

A large percentage of the teens at risk that I see in my practice have some type of learning disorder, and over the course of their development they have felt progressively alienated from their schools and communities.

 

Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, MA, is the Executive Director of Shalom Task Force and author of “At Risk – Never Beyond Reach” and “First Aid for Jewish Marriages.” To order a copy, visit www.JewishMarriageSupport.com. For more information about Shalom Task Force, please visit www.shalomtaskforce.org. You can e-mail questions to him at rabbischonbuch@yahoo.com.

About the Author: Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, MA, Marriage and Family Therapy, is an expert in marriage counseling, pre-marital education, and helping teens in crisis with offices in Flatbush, Cedarhurst, and Crown Heights. He is a certified PAIRS instructor, and trained as a Level 1, Emotionally Focused Therapist at the Ackerman Institute for the Family, and is a member of AASECT. He is the author of At Risk – Never Beyond Reach and First Aid For Jewish Marriages. To watch his free videos on marriage and parenting and for appointments visit: www.JewishMarriageSupport.com or call 646-428-4723


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Schonbuch-Rabbi-Daniel

Separation anxiety disorder is a condition in which a child becomes fearful and nervous when away from home or separated from a loved one – usually a parent or other caregiver – to whom the child is attached.

Schonbuch-Rabbi-Daniel

I try to focus on the parents in a way that is not often addressed. As soon as the child gets anxious, the parent gets anxious;

Most people are not aware that anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the United States, affecting 40 million adults age 18 and older (18% of U.S. population).

Parental conflict affects children in varying ways, depending on their age. For example, teenagers around the age of fifteen or sixteen are most likely to involve themselves in their parents’ battles. Younger children may keep their feelings hidden inside and may only show signs of depression in late childhood or early adolescence.

When parents come to talk to me about a troubled child or teenager, I often find it helpful to explore whether or not their marriage is causing their teenager to be at risk.

Active listening is only one part of the marriage equation; learning what to say and what not to say is the other half. And, it’s not just about expressing your feelings, but doing it in a way that avoids hurting the other person.

Control may be the most destructive force influencing a marriage. Let me illustrate this point with the following story. About two years ago a woman named Bracha, 47, came to speak to me about her husband’s controlling behavior. This is how she described her precarious situation:

Controlling behavior may be the number one reason that your marriage needs first aid.

If you are unfamiliar with the topic of control, it’s no surprise. Most people are unaware that control is a major issue for counselors, therapists and psychologists-at-large.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/investing-in-your-relationship/2009/12/25/

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