web analytics
March 1, 2015 / 10 Adar , 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


IQ vs. EIQ: Why Being Smart Isn’t Enough


Schonfeld-logo1

Chaim Schwartz* is the recognized genius of the class. He gets 100% on every test, understands the most difficult Gemaras and makes complicated math computations in his head in seconds. But for all his genius he can’t seem to make a single friend.

“I don’t know what it is about him, but he seems to almost push away people,” his mother says. “If I send him out to play, he’s bound to be home 10 minutes later, grumbling about how the other boys hate him. And his rebbi tells me that when he made learning groups, he thought that everybody would want to be with Chaim – but three times, the boys in his group asked to be switched.”

Chaim himself doesn’t know why he can’t make or keep friends. To him the playground is as challenging as a complicated algebraic equation might be for his less-brilliant classmates. He can’t seem to “get it” socially. Almost everything he says or does is rejected by his peers, and it appears as if the entire world is against him. Chaim believes his classmates are unfair. The truth is that he is pushing others away.

Although he is blessed with a high IQ, Chaim has a poor EIQ – Emotional Intelligence Quotient. He is unable to read nonverbal cues and understand when he is boring or annoying others. He also has a poor sense of personal space – he tends to invade the space of others by standing too close to his peers and touching them often. People feel uncomfortable in his presence – and often back away almost as soon as he approaches. That is a shame because Chaim has so much to offer to his classmates. But his social ineptitude is crippling him.

Chaim’s poor social skills may impact his life more negatively than someone else’s poor IQ. Experts now recognize that interpersonal skills are more vital to a person’s success in life than intelligence. The ability to make and maintain relationships allows people to succeed in school, marriage, at work and in all situations.

Like traditional intelligence, social skills are often innate, with some children naturally more emotionally intelligent than others. But the good news is that social skills can be taught. Chaim, and countless others like him, can up his EIQ with social skills training. He can learn to avoid negative behaviors that turn off others, and he can learn positive behaviors and skills that will enable him to achieve social success.

The first step in helping children with poor social skills is identifying them. There are many types of social skills, and children who could benefit from social skills training may exhibit different behaviors. Parents should take note if their child:

About the Author: An acclaimed educator and education consultant, Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has served the Jewish community for close to thirty years. She founded and directs the widely acclaimed educational program, SOS, servicing all grade levels in secular as well as Hebrew studies. A kriah and reading specialist, she has given dynamic workshops and has set up reading labs in many schools. In addition, she offers evaluations G.E.D. preparation,, social skills training and shidduch coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness. She can be reached at 718-382-5437 or at rifkaschonfeld@verizon.net. Visit her on the web at rifkaschonfeldsos.com.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “IQ vs. EIQ: Why Being Smart Isn’t Enough”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Hamas terrorists manage  to find their way to the Temple Mount in Jerusalem as well.
Egypt Formally Designates Hamas as Terrorist Entity
Latest Sections Stories
Golan Wine Medals

‘Double Gold’ awarded to 2012 Yarden Heights wine & 2011 Yarden Merlot Kela Single Vineyard.

Niehaus-022715

One should not give the money before Purim morning or after sunset.

Mendlowitz-022715-Basket

The mishloach manos of times gone by were sometimes simple and sometimes elaborate, but the main focus was on the preparation of the delicious food they contained.

Astaire-022715-Countryside

One of the earliest special Purims we have on record was celebrated by the Jews of Granada and Shmuel HaNagid, the eleventh-century rav, poet, soldier and statesman, and one of the most influential Jews in Muslim Spain.

Jews, wake up! Stop educating the world and start educating yourselves.

The lessons conform to the sensitivities and needs of the Orthodox community…

The program took on special significance as it marked not only the first anniversary of Rebbetzin Kudan’s levayah but also the 27th yahrzeit of Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka Schneerson, a”h.

It captures the love of the Jewish soul as only Shlomo Hamelech could portray it – and as only Rabbi Miller could explain it.

Erudite and academic, drawing from ancient and modern sources, the book can be discussed at the Shabbos table as well as in kollel.

I’m here to sit next to you and help you through this Purim with three almost-too-easy mishloach manot ideas, all made with cost-conscious paper bags.

Kids want to be like their friends, and they want to give and get “normal” mishloach manos stocked with store-bought treats.

Whenever he did anything loving for me, I made a big deal about it.

“OMG, it’s so cute, you’re so cute, everything is so cute.”

A program that started with a handful of volunteers has grown exponentially to include students from a wider array of backgrounds.

More Articles from Rifka Schonfeld
Schonfeld-logo1

Tutor. Counselor. The doctor too,
Sometimes it’s hard to keep up with you.

Schonfeld-logo1

Pioneering authors Peg Dawson and Richard Guare, in their book Executive Skills in Children and Adolescents, outline the ways that we employ executive skills regularly.

Because I get phone calls about this all the time, I have put together a quick “cheat sheet” with milestones for reading, writing, and math from first grade through high school.

The reason behind this is that when we ask our brains and bodies to make drastic changes, our fight or flight response kicks in and we become paralyzed.

Why is there such a steep learning curve for teachers? And what can we, as educators and community activists, do better in the educational system and keep first-year teachers in the job?

With so many new cases of ADHD reported each year, it is important to help children learn how to sit still.

While encouraging your child to take responsibility for bed-wetting (like asking him to change the sheets), remember that it is important not to get angry or make him feel guilty.

As we said, you cannot get rid of a bad habit, you can only change it. But, how?

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/iq-vs-eiq-why-being-smart-isnt-enough/2008/12/24/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: