web analytics
July 28, 2014 / 1 Av, 5774
Israel at War: Operation Protective Edge
 
 
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
IDC Advocacy Room IDC Fights War on Another Front

Student Union opens ‘hasbara’ room in effort to fill public diplomacy vacuum.



IQ vs. EIQ: Why Being Smart Isn’t Enough


Schonfeld-logo1

Chaim Schwartz* is the recognized genius of the class. He gets 100% on every test, understands the most difficult Gemaras and makes complicated math computations in his head in seconds. But for all his genius he can’t seem to make a single friend.

“I don’t know what it is about him, but he seems to almost push away people,” his mother says. “If I send him out to play, he’s bound to be home 10 minutes later, grumbling about how the other boys hate him. And his rebbi tells me that when he made learning groups, he thought that everybody would want to be with Chaim – but three times, the boys in his group asked to be switched.”

Chaim himself doesn’t know why he can’t make or keep friends. To him the playground is as challenging as a complicated algebraic equation might be for his less-brilliant classmates. He can’t seem to “get it” socially. Almost everything he says or does is rejected by his peers, and it appears as if the entire world is against him. Chaim believes his classmates are unfair. The truth is that he is pushing others away.

Although he is blessed with a high IQ, Chaim has a poor EIQ – Emotional Intelligence Quotient. He is unable to read nonverbal cues and understand when he is boring or annoying others. He also has a poor sense of personal space – he tends to invade the space of others by standing too close to his peers and touching them often. People feel uncomfortable in his presence – and often back away almost as soon as he approaches. That is a shame because Chaim has so much to offer to his classmates. But his social ineptitude is crippling him.

Chaim’s poor social skills may impact his life more negatively than someone else’s poor IQ. Experts now recognize that interpersonal skills are more vital to a person’s success in life than intelligence. The ability to make and maintain relationships allows people to succeed in school, marriage, at work and in all situations.

Like traditional intelligence, social skills are often innate, with some children naturally more emotionally intelligent than others. But the good news is that social skills can be taught. Chaim, and countless others like him, can up his EIQ with social skills training. He can learn to avoid negative behaviors that turn off others, and he can learn positive behaviors and skills that will enable him to achieve social success.

The first step in helping children with poor social skills is identifying them. There are many types of social skills, and children who could benefit from social skills training may exhibit different behaviors. Parents should take note if their child:

About the Author: An acclaimed educator and education consultant, Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has served the Jewish community for close to thirty years. She founded and directs the widely acclaimed educational program, SOS, servicing all grade levels in secular as well as Hebrew studies. A kriah and reading specialist, she has given dynamic workshops and has set up reading labs in many schools. In addition, she offers evaluations G.E.D. preparation,, social skills training and shidduch coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness. She can be reached at 718-382-5437 or at rifkaschonfeld@verizon.net. Visit her on the web at rifkaschonfeldsos.com.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “IQ vs. EIQ: Why Being Smart Isn’t Enough”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
IDF map of Gaza City launcher sites centered among high schools.
Israeli Cabinet Cowed Back Into ‘Tit-for-Tat’ by Obama?
Latest Sections Stories
Respler-072514

The real solution to bullying is to empower the bullied child.

Schonfeld-logo1

Time outs increases compliance and positive behavior far more than other forms of discipline

Schild-Edwin

Interestingly, sometimes people who have a very high self-awareness may experience intense reactions to circumstances that others might respond to more mildly.

“You Touro graduates are automatically soldiers in [Israel’s] struggle, and we count on you,” Rothstein told the graduates.

The lemonana was something else. Never had we seen a green drink look so enticing.

On his marriage, he wrote: “This is what I believe: something of the core, of the essence of this meaningful and life-affirming Judaism will not be absent from our home” (1882).

With the recent kidnapping by the Hamas and the barbaric murder of three children – Gilad Shaar, Eyal Yifrach and Naftali Frankel, we believe that the best answer to honor the memory of those murdered is to continue building those very communities – large and small – that our enemies are trying to destroy.

Written entirely through Frayda’s eyes, the reader is drawn by her unassuming personality.

Adopting an ancient exegetical approach that is based on midrashic readings of the text, thematic connections that span between various books of the Bible are revealed.

While Lipman comes from an ultra-Orthodox background and is an Orthodox rabbi, he offers a breath of fresh air when he suggests that “polarization caused by extremism and isolationism in the religious community may be the greatest internal threat to the future of the Jewish people”

The Joys of Yiddish, Leo Rosten defines a mentch as “someone to admire and emulate, someone of noble character.”

Certainly today’s communication via e-mail, Facebook, Twitter and the like, including the ubiquitous Whatsapp, has reduced the need to talk with people and communicate at length.

More Articles from Rifka Schonfeld
Schonfeld-logo1

Time outs increases compliance and positive behavior far more than other forms of discipline

Schonfeld-logo1

The Joys of Yiddish, Leo Rosten defines a mentch as “someone to admire and emulate, someone of noble character.”

In reality, Baruch is one of many children who can be described as twice-exceptional. He is both gifted and struggling with a learning disability.

Explosive children or those with ODD are easily frustrated, demanding and inflexible.

Have you noticed that your child is doing something radically different from his cousins (even if they go to a school a block away from each other)?

“If you have Asperger’s Syndrome, you are really good in your brain and your brain is wired a different way, so you are really good at drawing or school. But your social level is not high.”

If your child is struggling with these skills, it might be helpful to seek social skills training.

However, for some children, the split between home and school can be severe and potentially debilitating.

    Latest Poll

    Do you think the FAA ban on US flights to Israel is political?






    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/iq-vs-eiq-why-being-smart-isnt-enough/2008/12/24/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: