web analytics
July 30, 2015 / 14 Av, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


It’s all Small Stuff; So Why Am I So Stressed? (Part II)

Schild-Edwin

In Part 1 we identified the increased referrals for stress and anxiety we at Regesh Family and Child Services have seen over the past year and emphasised the importance of knowing what these emotions are all about. Always remember, the more we understand something, the more control we have over it. By understanding the meaning of stress, its symptoms and the effects of stress to both the body and psyche we can start modifying the negative effects. We spoke of the stressors, or triggers, leading to stress and anxiety as a means of being one step ahead of such situations. Finally, we discussed that the effects of stress are identified by one’s cognitive functioning, behaviour, emotionality and by physical pain.

To understand how stressors influence us, we need to understand emotional self-awareness. Being emotionally self-aware means:

(1)   Understanding what emotion you are experiencing,

(2)   Being aware of your emotion in the moment rather than minutes, hours or days later,

(3)   Knowing what triggers different emotions in you, and

(4)   Understanding the impact of your emotions on others.

 

I am often asked if someone could have too much self-awareness. Interestingly, sometimes people who have a very high self-awareness may experience intense reactions to circumstances that others might respond to more mildly. Such a person could more easily overwhelm other people or leave them person feeling somewhat drained. On the other hand, those with underdeveloped emotional self-awareness tend to be more held captive to their emotions and subsequent behaviors without having a clear understanding of why.

Over the years I have realized how little people really understand their emotions. When asked to name five emotions, many people get stuck after happy, sad and angry. In fact, many people react to their emotions but have very little understanding of the connection between thoughts, emotions and behaviors.

When we ran residential treatment group homes for children ages eight to thirteen, we would often have to teach the children to identify and understand a variety of feelings. There would a “feeling of the week” where we would identify a major emotion the child was experiencing and needed to learn more about. On the first day, we would define and give an example. The next day we would review that feeling and then leave the home to go on a “emotional scavenger hunt.” For example, if the emotion was frustration, after defining what frustration was and agreeing how a person might look when he or she is frustrated, the child and his social worker would go looking for people who looked like they were experiencing that emotion, discuss a possible trigger those people might be having and create a scenario in which they could resolve the issue. The next day, they would go out again and have a contest to see who could identify more people they thought were experiencing the “emotion of the week” and explain why those people might be having the issue and what they might do to resolve it. The winner would get a special treat from the other person. Of course, the hope was always that the child would win. After that, the child and the staff in the home would identify the occasions when the child was experiencing the emotion and how issues could be solved. The same sequence of learning various emotions would go on for several weeks, allowing the child to develop a clear understanding of the emotions and the pursuing behaviours, while having fun.

Stress and anxiety is often caused by what we call irrational thinking. The way we think about a person or event leads to the way we feel about that person or event. That is, there is no feeling about the person or event until our brain causes us to think. Further, the way we feel about a person or event determines our reactions, responses and behaviours related to the person and event. Negative thoughts can only lead to negative feelings which, inevitably, lead to negative behaviors.

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “It’s all Small Stuff; So Why Am I So Stressed? (Part II)”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
“Praised is the nation that understands the quavering sound of the shofar.” (Psalms 89:16).
Orthodox Rabbis to Lobby near Rosh HaShanah against Deal with Iran
Latest Sections Stories

Personally I wish that I had a mother like my wife.

What’s the difference between the first and second ten-year-old?

What makes this diary so historically significant is that it is not just the private memoir of Dr. Seidman. Rather, it is a reflection of the suffering of Klal Yisrael at that time.

Rabbi Lau is a world class speaker. When he relates stories, even concentration camp stories, the audience is mesmerized. As we would soon discover, he is in the movie as well.

Each essay, some adapted from lectures Furst prepared for live audiences, begins with several basic questions around a key topic.

For the last several years, four Jewish schools in the Baltimore Jewish community have been expelling students who have not received their vaccinations.

“We can’t wait for session II to begin” said camp director Mrs. Judy Neufeld.

Chabad Chayil wishes all a happy and healthy remainder of summer.

It’s ironic that the title of terrorist has been bestowed upon a couple whose alleged actions resulted in the death of three turtles.

More Articles from Edwin Schild
Schild-Edwin

Interestingly, sometimes people who have a very high self-awareness may experience intense reactions to circumstances that others might respond to more mildly.

Schild-Edwin

We define stress as the feeling we get when there is too much to do and too little time to do it in.

I’d like to share some valuable insights that, with clear and meaningful understanding, will have a tremendous impact on our family’s future

Josh is only nine years old, yet he’s an addict. How is that possible? You’re wondering where he gets his drugs from, how does his addiction manifest itself and if there are treatment plans.

often find myself telling clients, “There is no such thing as emotions!” Then I wait for their reactions. My hope is that the client will challenge me, as obviously we all experience emotions. It’s the way we are wired.

In Part I talked about celebrating 30 years of Regesh Family and Child Services providing services to children, teens and families. I shared the agency’s origin and the many lessons I have learned through this journey. As I mentioned, it is my hope that my experiences will add to your toolbox of life skills.

As I look back, it is clear that I learned much as an administrator and therapist – and as an individual experiencing life. I hope you will stay with me as I reminisce.

I know what you are thinking. What possible situation could cause a professional to advise a parent to “Pray hard that your children ignore you”?

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/its-all-small-stuff-so-why-am-i-so-stressed-part-ii/2014/07/25/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: