web analytics
May 23, 2013 /14 Sivan, 5773
At a Glance ▼
Sections
Sponsored Post
The Tosfos Yomtov was convinced that the death of 300,000 –600,000 Jews during the Chmielnicki massacres of 1648-49 were because of improper Tefila. Communicated: Tefilla

Chillul Tefila Bifarhesia, as well as halachicly challenged verbiage and dress, are external manifestations of a critical lack of personal yiras shomayim which has lethal consequences.



Letter From Your Teenage Child


Latest update: June 19th, 2012
tell a friend
Horowitz-Rabbi-Yaakov

Dear Mommy and Daddy:

Imagine how you would feel if you were told that, two years from today, our entire family would need to relocate to a different part of the country. You would certainly be quite concerned – for good reason. Think of all the questions you would have. Here are just a few of them:

• Where will we live?

• Will we be able to find jobs in the new location?

• Will we be prepared for those new positions?

• Will we make new friends?

• How about our old friends – will we still stay close?

• What will our standing be in the new community?

Now imagine what your anxiety level would be like if you would not be able to answer a single one of these questions.

Welcome To Our World

Welcome to our world.

Mommy, Daddy, I only posed these questions to you so you would gain some insight into my world.

You always say that you remember what it was like to be a teenager. I think you may remember on some level, but please don’t take this personally – I don’t think you really “get it.”

Come to think of it, I only asked you some of the questions that go through my mind. There are so many more.

• Will I get into a good high school and seminary?

• Which one?

• Who will I marry?

• Will I marry?

• How am I supposed to figure out whom to marry?

• Will I have a great marriage or will we fight all the time like some of my friends’ parents?

• Will I have children?

• What will they look like?

• Will I be able to afford to give my kids the things that we have at home?

Changing

These past few months you both have been complaining about how “I am changing.” You say that you don’t recognize me anymore. We argue more than we ever did.

Well, I am changing!! My body is changing, my mind is changing, and my life is changing. We both have to deal with that. I am not eight-years old any more. I still love you very much, but I need to move on and get my own life.

And what frustrates me is that I can’t seem to discuss things with you without a full-blown argument over my clothing, my friends, my language, whatever!

I thought that writing things down in a few letters might help you understand the big picture – what it is really like to be a teenager.

I am hoping that you will come to understand why my friends are so important to me, why I “zone out” sometimes. Why I get moody and impatient, and roll my eyes (sorry about that) when you lecture me.

I hope you will read this carefully. It was quite difficult to write this letter, but I’m hoping that it will be a good first step in improving our relationship.

Love, Adina

 

Rabbi Yakov Horowitz is the founder and director of Agudath Israel’s Project Y.E.S.

For more information on the Project Y.E.S. teen and parent mentoring programs, to access our list of parent resources, please visit www.rabbihorowitz.com.

tell a friend

About the Author:


You might also be interested in:


no comments

You must log in to post a comment.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Peter Bouckaert, emergencies director of Human Rights Watch, having lunch. Peter likes long walks on the beach with fellow "insider" correspondents and dumping on Israel.
Yes, There Is an Anti-Israel Media Cabal and They All Meet on Facebook
Latest Sections Stories
South-Florida-logo
Sections → Community → South Florida

Florida is famous for sparkling water. We have the beautiful Atlantic Ocean and Gulf of Mexico surrounding our coast. We have bays, lakes, canals and, of course, an incredible abundance of swimming pools in homes, resorts, apartment complexes and city parks.

South-Florida-logo
Sections → Community → South Florida

The buzz is back as Camp Gan Israel Florida Overnight gears up for another fantastic summer, CGI Florida style. What makes CGI Florida so different from all the other overnight camps? It’s all in the details.

Teens-051713
Sections → Magazine → Teens and Twenties

Leah Katz, a TeenZone camper at Oorah’s TheZone summer camp and an 11th grader at Midwood High School, read her winning essay about how TheZone changed her views on Judaism at the Jewish Heritage Awards Ceremony held at Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes’s office in April. The purpose of the Jewish Heritage Essay Contest is to acquaint public school students with Jewish history and customs and to help foster a deeper understanding of Jewish culture. The contest is open to students of all ethnic and religious backgrounds. Leah’s essay is reproduced in full below.

Sections → Jewess Press → Impact Of Women On Jewish History/Prof. L. Jackson

Moshe Sharett, the head of the Jewish Agency’s Political Department, visited Egypt in 1945. In Cairo he met a most remarkable young woman, a beautiful journalist who was the darling of Egyptian high society – from high-ranking military brass, to culture icons and Muslim sheikhs, to the court of King Faruk.

Sections → Family → Marriage and Relationships

The two proceeded to talk about everyday things and surprisingly her mother-in-law did not find anything else to criticize. This occurred a few more times, with my client changing the topic every time by complimenting her mother-in-law or mentioning something positive about her.

Sections → Family → Parenting Our Children

There is always a lot of confusion surrounding sensory processing disorder – mainly because there are many different diagnoses that fall under the catch-all phrase sensory processing disorder (SPD). Among them are three specific subcategories:

Sections → Family

The doctor had warned us that even if we did everything right and followed the protocol after the follicle was of the right size, there was no guarantee of success. Fertilization still had to occur, and just like couples do not necessarily become pregnant every month, we had no way to know if we were actually expecting for two full weeks.

Sections → Community → West Coast Happenings

Jewish Press columnist Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis, founder and president of Hineni, the international Torah outreach organization, recently addressed an overflowing audience at the Beth Jacob Congregation of Irvine in southern California. Rebbetzin Jungreis’s address theme, “Making a Good Relationship Magical,” was apropos for the evening’s main mission: raising funds for the Irvine community’s mikveh.

Sections → Magazine → Teens and Twenties

You have probably been planning your marriage since you were about three. Let’s fast-forward to a big milestone– your twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. (Don’t worry, you don’t look a day over twenty one!) Now, would you appreciate your husband buying you a dozen roses that some florist recommended?

Sections → Jewess Press → Daily Living

As I mentioned in my earlier articles about our family trip to Israel, our night flight went pretty smooth, thanks to my children’s willingness to sleep throughout the flight. I, on the other hand, didn’t sleep a wink and I wasn’t feeling too great by the time we landed. But we were finally in Israel, and just being in the beautifully renovated Ben Gurion airport and hearing all the Hebrew around us was exciting enough.

More Articles from Rabbi Yakov Horowitz
jewish psyciatrist
Blogs → Emes Ve-Emunah

Those of us familiar with the do’s and don’ts of accepted practice in the mental health profession saw similar blaring warning lights in our minds, as should have occurred when the facts were made public regarding the accusations against Nehemia Weberman. This case may very well be our community’s most important abuse trial during our lifetimes. It is imperative that we have a huge turnout in support of the victim, a courageous young lady who, may she be gezunt andge’bentched, is determined to see this through to the end so others won’t suffer like she did.

Rabbi Yakov Horowitz
Blogs → Emes Ve-Emunah

In part the altered lives victims of abuse and molestation live are a result of the abuse itself. But it is in part also because of the unfortunate negative reaction to the victims by their own community.

InDepth → Op-Eds

These lines are written in loving memory of our dear father, Reb Shlomo Zev ben Reb Baruch Yehudah Nutovic, a”h, whose first yahrzeit is 7 Menachem Av. May the positive lessons learned from this essay be a zechus for his neshamah.

InDepth → Op-Eds

All responsible leaders in our community have roundly condemned the recent violence in Beit Shemesh and Meah Shearim.

InDepth → Op-Eds

A surefire way to gauge the generation in which a person was raised is to have him or her fill in the following sentence: Where were you when ?”

Baby Boomers would ask, “When President Kennedy was shot?” Thirtysomethings would respond, “When the space shuttle exploded?” Today’s teenagers would reply, “On 9/11?”

InDepth → Op-Eds

One week ago on my website I announced my intention to attend the next court appearance of a man who was arrested last year and is now standing trial on 10 felony charges of child abuse.

Sections → Family → Parenting Our Children

Dear Rabbi Horowitz:

We were taken aback when our 18-year-old son just called us from Eretz Yisrael (we live in Europe) and told us that he was coming home and wants to immediately go to work. He said that he is wasting his time in yeshiva, and just can’t take it anymore. He said that he will “run away from home” if we don’t allow him to go to work.

InDepth → Op-Eds

Digital images of the profoundly disturbing computer-smashing ceremony conducted by Rabbi Aaron Feinhandler have been viewed by countless thousands of Jews worldwide over the past few weeks.

    Latest Poll

    Which is the most beautiful location in Jerusalem?









    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/letter-from-your-teenage-child/2007/08/29/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online:

No related posts.

Close