web analytics
April 27, 2015 / 8 Iyar, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Letter From Your Teenage Child


Dear Mommy and Daddy:

Imagine how you would feel if you were told that, two years from today, our entire family would need to relocate to a different part of the country. You would certainly be quite concerned – for good reason. Think of all the questions you would have. Here are just a few of them:

• Where will we live?

• Will we be able to find jobs in the new location?

• Will we be prepared for those new positions?

• Will we make new friends?

• How about our old friends – will we still stay close?

• What will our standing be in the new community?

Now imagine what your anxiety level would be like if you would not be able to answer a single one of these questions.

Welcome To Our World

Welcome to our world.

Mommy, Daddy, I only posed these questions to you so you would gain some insight into my world.

You always say that you remember what it was like to be a teenager. I think you may remember on some level, but please don’t take this personally – I don’t think you really “get it.”

Come to think of it, I only asked you some of the questions that go through my mind. There are so many more.

• Will I get into a good high school and seminary?

• Which one?

• Who will I marry?

• Will I marry?

• How am I supposed to figure out whom to marry?

• Will I have a great marriage or will we fight all the time like some of my friends’ parents?

• Will I have children?

• What will they look like?

• Will I be able to afford to give my kids the things that we have at home?

Changing

These past few months you both have been complaining about how “I am changing.” You say that you don’t recognize me anymore. We argue more than we ever did.

Well, I am changing!! My body is changing, my mind is changing, and my life is changing. We both have to deal with that. I am not eight-years old any more. I still love you very much, but I need to move on and get my own life.

And what frustrates me is that I can’t seem to discuss things with you without a full-blown argument over my clothing, my friends, my language, whatever!

I thought that writing things down in a few letters might help you understand the big picture – what it is really like to be a teenager.

I am hoping that you will come to understand why my friends are so important to me, why I “zone out” sometimes. Why I get moody and impatient, and roll my eyes (sorry about that) when you lecture me.

I hope you will read this carefully. It was quite difficult to write this letter, but I’m hoping that it will be a good first step in improving our relationship.

Love, Adina

 

Rabbi Yakov Horowitz is the founder and director of Agudath Israel’s Project Y.E.S.

For more information on the Project Y.E.S. teen and parent mentoring programs, to access our list of parent resources, please visit www.rabbihorowitz.com.

About the Author: Rabbi Yakov Horowitz is founder and dean of Yeshiva Darchei Noam and founder and director of Agudath Israel's Project Y.E.S.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Letter From Your Teenage Child”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Princeton University students voted down an Israel Divestment referendum in April, 2015.
Inside Look at Princeton’s Israel Divestment Failure
Latest Sections Stories
Respler-logo-NEW

My mother-in-law and I have had our problems since the beginning of my marriage.

Food-Talk---Eller-logo

“People who never buy cookbooks are getting this one,” said Victoria. “They read it cover to cover and find it so interesting.”

South-Florida-logo

We have recently witnessed how other minorities deal with even perceived danger aimed at their brothers and sisters. They respond in great numbers.

The Hebrew Academy students took part in all categories and used successful and innovative techniques to achieve their goals.

“The objective behind establishing small communities as places for relocation was a remedy for the excessive cost of housing and education in the large New York metropolitan market,” Mr. Savitsky explained.

Jewish Democrats did not entirely trust the son of Joseph Kennedy, a man broadly considered to be both anti-Semitic and pro-Nazi.

The teenage years are not about surviving. They are about thriving.

Every moment was a gift. I held each one, savoring.

We arrived in Auschwitz on Thursday, January 30, 2014. My seminary was taking us to see where the prisoners were kept. When we got there, I stepped off the bus in complete and total silence. I was in the back, and when we got to the gate I hesitated and started shaking uncontrollably. I couldn’t […]

From the moment Israel was declared a Jewish state, it has been the subject of controversy and struggle.

Now that Pesach is over, we return you to your regularly-scheduled pressing questions:   Dear Mordechai, Can I use a nose hair trimmer during Sefirah? Harry Lipman   Dear Harry, Yes, as long as your nose hairs are so bad that they’re affecting your job. Like if you have a desk job, and they interfere […]

It is very natural for kids to want attention and to be jealous of each other, especially when there is a new baby.

During the Second World War, a million and a half Jewish soldiers fought in the Allied armies, the Partisan units in Eastern Europe, and the anti-fascist underground movements in Western Europe and North Africa. These Jewish fighters won over 200,000 medals and citations. The Museum of the Jewish Soldier in World War II in Latrun, […]

More Articles from Rabbi Yakov Horowitz
jewish psyciatrist

Those of us familiar with the do’s and don’ts of accepted practice in the mental health profession saw similar blaring warning lights in our minds, as should have occurred when the facts were made public regarding the accusations against Nehemia Weberman. This case may very well be our community’s most important abuse trial during our lifetimes. It is imperative that we have a huge turnout in support of the victim, a courageous young lady who, may she be gezunt andge’bentched, is determined to see this through to the end so others won’t suffer like she did.

Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

In part the altered lives victims of abuse and molestation live are a result of the abuse itself. But it is in part also because of the unfortunate negative reaction to the victims by their own community.

These lines are written in loving memory of our dear father, Reb Shlomo Zev ben Reb Baruch Yehudah Nutovic, a”h, whose first yahrzeit is 7 Menachem Av. May the positive lessons learned from this essay be a zechus for his neshamah.

All responsible leaders in our community have roundly condemned the recent violence in Beit Shemesh and Meah Shearim.

A surefire way to gauge the generation in which a person was raised is to have him or her fill in the following sentence: Where were you when ?”

Baby Boomers would ask, “When President Kennedy was shot?” Thirtysomethings would respond, “When the space shuttle exploded?” Today’s teenagers would reply, “On 9/11?”

One week ago on my website I announced my intention to attend the next court appearance of a man who was arrested last year and is now standing trial on 10 felony charges of child abuse.

Dear Rabbi Horowitz:

We were taken aback when our 18-year-old son just called us from Eretz Yisrael (we live in Europe) and told us that he was coming home and wants to immediately go to work. He said that he is wasting his time in yeshiva, and just can’t take it anymore. He said that he will “run away from home” if we don’t allow him to go to work.

Digital images of the profoundly disturbing computer-smashing ceremony conducted by Rabbi Aaron Feinhandler have been viewed by countless thousands of Jews worldwide over the past few weeks.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/letter-from-your-teenage-child/2007/08/29/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: