Photo Credit: Rifka Schonfeld

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master,
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools…
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

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The above poem by poet and novelist Rudyard Kipling  (1865-1936) is a great depiction of leadership: cool under pressure, patient, humble, hopeful, and hardworking. Recently, two books have come out about successful leadership: Dr. Sarah Sumner’s Above the Line Leadership and Urban Meyer’s Above the Line: Lessons in Leadership and Life from A Championship Season. Both books use the metaphor of “above the line leadership” to explain how to lead effectively in business, politics, sports, and in life. In essence, they explain that leadership is about your “location” – are you above the line or below it?

Before, I get to the wisdom of the books, there’s an interesting idea that The Conscious Leadership Group proposed: When dealing with a difficult situation as a leader, locate yourself above or below the line. Generally, our brains are programmed to go “below the line” when we feel threatened because we need to worry about survival. Above the line, you are open, curious, and committed to learning. Below the line, you are closed, defensive, and committed to being right. If you find yourself above the line, it means that you approach people as allies and live a life of play, whereas if you find yourself below the line, you find fault and get overwhelmed by what you feel is never enough (time, money, energy, etc.). The idea is to distinguish between physical threats and threats to our egos; if we understand that those difficult situations are not truly threats, we can position ourselves above the line. Then we are in the perfect position for collaboration, innovation, and creativity.

This idea ties into Dr. Sarah Sumner’s work on productive successful leaders. Sumner has a model in which she divides people into three categories. Each of these three categories has a line and people may fall above or below it. Below is a diagram that explains this phenomenon:

 

 

In essence, Sumner argues that if you lead with good character, you will live with good character. If you act above the line (whatever your personality), you will create a workplace, home, or culture of success, respect, and productivity. And, in any given environment, it’s great to mix with people who aren’t just like you. Sumner writes, “When clusters of people from the same category fall down into the basement, their ability to lead well is impoverished. That’s why my theory is this – that a first-rate leader and a first-rate team will always be a mix of all three.”

That leads to Urban Meyer, a legendary football coach at Ohio State University. His book, Above the Line: Lessons in Leadership and Life from a Championship Series presents the lessons he learned over his career. He writes, “Leadership is a skill, and like all skills it takes time and effort to develop. The timeworn quotes that have been hanging around locker rooms for years are not nearly enough. Now I understand. Average leaders have quotes. Good leaders have a plan. Exceptional leaders have a system.”

His prescription for a successful leader? Once again, stay above the line. In order to do that, you make intentional decisions and act upon them. In other words, when you are above the line, you have intentional behavior, below it you have impulsive behavior such as blaming, complaining, and defending poor decisions. And of course, any above or below the line behavior in a leader affects the whole team.

When a line is drawn, regardless of its significance, where is it best to stand? These three theories argue: above it, of course! May we all learn to locate ourselves and find ourselves above the line.

 

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An acclaimed educator and social skills ​specialist​, Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has served the Jewish community for close to thirty years. She founded and directs the widely acclaimed educational program, SOS, servicing all grade levels in secular as well as Hebrew studies. A kriah and reading specialist, she has given dynamic workshops and has set up reading labs in many schools. In addition, she offers evaluations G.E.D. preparation, social skills training and shidduch coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness. She can be reached at 718-382-5437 or at [email protected].