web analytics
March 30, 2015 / 10 Nisan, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


More Than Meltdowns?

Schonfeld-logo1

You see it all the time – a child kicking and screaming in the grocery store, a toddler throwing his toy in the sandbox or a kindergartener stomping up and down the stairs of his school.

Every child occasionally has a meltdown, regardless of his or her age or natural disposition. While the roots of these tantrums might differ, fits of rage and temper often affect the whole family. The way you respond to the meltdowns can influence their future recurrence and their long-lasting effects on your family. Children throw fits in an attempt to gain control of their environment. If that fit works, they continue to have meltdowns because it is a method by which they can assert power over their parents. Below, I have outlined some ways to deal with “normal” meltdowns.

Preschool

For children who are preschool age, meltdowns will generally occur in regards to food, clothing and toys. In the supermarket, it’s because they want certain foods, at home, they want to wear certain socks or shirts, and in the park or at friends’ homes, they will want to play with only one toy. The problem comes when you can’t meet those needs. Therefore, if your daughter starts throwing a fit in the supermarket, here are some suggestions to curb that behavior:

  • Stick to your guns. If you originally said “no” to buying chocolate chip cookies and then threw them in your cart when your daughter started screaming, you are teaching her that if she screams she gets what she wants. Instead, if you say “no,” stick to it. Expect to feel embarrassed in the supermarket the first few times, but eventually your daughter will learn that screaming gets her nowhere.
  • Avoid triggers. If you know that your daughter always has a meltdown when you go through the snack aisle, don’t go through the snack aisle. If you need something from that section, consider going to the supermarket when your daughter is not with you.
  • Sleep and food. Children will often lose control if they are tired or hungry. Perhaps, switch the time you take your daughter to the supermarket or be sure to feed her a snack before you leave the house. This can reduce the occurrences of tantrums.

School Age

Elementary school children may occasionally throw tantrums when sitting down to do their homework, especially if they are inundated by work or exhausted by lack of sleep. These fits can involve your child slamming textbooks closed or breaking pencils in frustration. On the other hand, your child could simply break down in tears because she feels she will never complete the assignment. Occasional fits involving homework are normal, but if they are occurring on a weekly basis, consider taking the following steps:

  • Establish a routine. Set aside a regular time and place where your daughter can do her homework. This will ensure that she feels in control and will give her more confidence when approaching her homework tasks.
  • Sleep, sleep, sleep. For preschoolers and elementary school children, sleep in an essential part of the puzzle. Children who are rested are better able to handle obstacles with poise.
  • Testing. If you notice a discrepancy between your child’s potential and her performance, consider getting an academic evaluation. There might be something larger, such as a learning disability, at work.

More Than Meltdowns

But, there are many instances in which the meltdowns are not normal. In fact, I have devoted a lot of time to studying and treating Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), an increasingly common disorder today. Children with ODD stand out from other children who are occasionally cranky or argumentative. When a child consistently and frequently acts out, more so than what would be considered normal for his or her age and developmental level, there is often something more going on.

About the Author: An acclaimed educator and education consultant, Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has served the Jewish community for close to thirty years. She founded and directs the widely acclaimed educational program, SOS, servicing all grade levels in secular as well as Hebrew studies. A kriah and reading specialist, she has given dynamic workshops and has set up reading labs in many schools. In addition, she offers evaluations G.E.D. preparation,, social skills training and shidduch coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness. She can be reached at 718-382-5437 or at rifkaschonfeld@verizon.net. Visit her on the web at rifkaschonfeldsos.com.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “More Than Meltdowns?”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Former Iranian President Ahmadinejad and north Korean  nuclear test.
Lausanne Talks May Be Camouflage for Iranian Nukes in North Korea
Latest Sections Stories
Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary

Are we allowed to lie for shalom bayis? It would seem so, but what might be a healthy guideline for when it’s okay and when it’s not?

book-To-Fill-The-Sky-With-Stars

The connection between what I experienced as a high school teenager and the adult I am today did not come easy to me.

Respler-032715

Isn’t therapy about being yourself; aren’t there different ways for people to communicate with each other?

South-Florida-logo

Jack was awarded a blue and gold first-place trophy, appropriately topped off with a golden bee.

Participating in ManiCures during the school day may feel like a break from learning, but the intended message to the students was loud and clear. Learning and chesed come in all forms, and can be fun.

Building campaign chairman Jack Gluck has led the effort over many years.

When using an extension cord always make sure to use the correct rated extension cord.

There was no question that when Mrs. Cohen entered the room to meet the teacher she was hostile from the outset.

Szold was among the founders and leaders (she served on its executive committee) of Ichud (“Unity”), a political group that campaigned against the creation of an independent, sovereign Jewish state in Eretz Yisrael.

My friend is a strong and capable Jewish woman, but she acted with a passivity that seemed out of character.

“If you don’t stand straight, you’ll never get a husband.”

First, sit down with your helpers and a pen and paper and break the jobs down into small parts.

More Articles from Rifka Schonfeld
Schonfeld-logo1

“If you don’t stand straight, you’ll never get a husband.”

Schonfeld-logo1

A lot of people have heard about dyslexia, a learning disability that concerns reading.

Because birth order can affect most children in similar fashion, there are things you can do to help your children overcome weaknesses that birth order has thrown their way.

Occasionally, a teacher will encounter a student who simply cannot be motivated to do his homework, finish his worksheet or study for a test.

There is a point that many parenting books miss: children do more for us than we do for them.

Tutor. Counselor. The doctor too,
Sometimes it’s hard to keep up with you.

Pioneering authors Peg Dawson and Richard Guare, in their book Executive Skills in Children and Adolescents, outline the ways that we employ executive skills regularly.

Because I get phone calls about this all the time, I have put together a quick “cheat sheet” with milestones for reading, writing, and math from first grade through high school.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/more-than-meltdowns/2014/07/04/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: