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Should We Keep Our At-Risk Child At Home?

14 Adar I 5768 – February 20, 2008
Dear Rabbi Horowitz: We have six children ranging in age from a married daughter of 22 to a son of eight. Baruch Hashem, things are well with us regarding shalom bayis, parnassah and other areas of our lives.

Changing Schools (Conclusion)

23 Shevat 5768 – January 30, 2008
Our 12-year-old son is not doing well in his 7th grade local yeshiva class. We are considering moving him to another local yeshiva in mid-year, as things are rapidly deteriorating. We are not asking for specific advice, as you do not know him or us. But can you share with us what questions to ask and answers to give when making this difficult decision? Names Withheld

Changing Schools (Part III)

2 Shevat 5768 – January 9, 2008
Our 12-year-old son is not doing well in his 7th grade local yeshiva class. We are considering moving him to another local yeshiva in mid-year, as things are rapidly deteriorating. We are not asking for specific advice, as you do not know him or us. But can you share with us what questions to ask and answers to give when making this difficult decision? Names Withheld

Changing Schools (Part II)

18 Tevet 5768 – December 27, 2007
Our 12-year-old son is not doing well in his 7th grade local yeshiva class. We are considering moving him to another local yeshiva in mid-year, as things are rapidly deteriorating. We are not asking for specific advice, as you do not know him or us. But can you share with us what questions to ask and answers to give when making this difficult decision? Names Withheld

Changing Schools (Part I)

3 Tevet 5768 – December 12, 2007
Our 12-year-old son is not doing well in his 7th grade local yeshiva class. We are considering moving him to another local yeshiva in mid-year, as things are rapidly deteriorating. We are not asking for specific advice, as you do not know him or us. But can you share with us what questions to ask and answers to give when making this difficult decision? Names Withheld

Man Serving Hashem … The Center Of Creation

18 Kislev 5768 – November 28, 2007
The brothers of Yosef referred to him as the "The Dreamer" (Beraishis 37:19). And, while the brothers seemed to have used the title in a disparaging manner, Yosef's life was, in fact, inextricably tied to dreams.

Leadership

11 Kislev 5768 – November 21, 2007
As Yaakov makes his way back to the land of Canaan, several events - spanning the full range of emotions - transpire in rapid succession.

Negotiating With Our Teenager: Understanding The Dynamics Of ‘The Deal’ (Part II)

4 Kislev 5768 – November 14, 2007
Dear Rabbi Horowitz: Our eldest child is in 10th grade at a local Bais Yaakov. She is doing well in school and is generally well-behaved at home. However, over the past year or so, everything we tell or ask her becomes a full-scale negotiating session. It doesn't make a difference what the issue is - curfew, when to do her homework, when to clean her room, etc. It is draining our energy and eroding our relationship with her. Here are our questions: 1. Is this normal? 2. Isn't it disrespectful for children to challenge their parents like this? Neither of us thinks we did this to our parents. 3. Do you have any practical suggestions for us? Names Withheld

Negotiating With Our Teenager: Understanding The Dynamics Of ‘The Deal’ (Part I)

26 Heshvan 5768 – November 7, 2007
Dear Rabbi Horowitz: Our eldest child is in 10th grade at a local Bais Yaakov. She is doing well in school and is generally well behaved at home. However, over the past year or so, everything we tell her or ask her becomes a full-scale negotiating session. It doesn't make a difference what the issue is - curfew, when to do her homework, when to clean her room, etc. It is draining our energy and eroding our relationship with her. Here are our questions: 1. Is this normal? 2. Isn't it disrespectful for children to challenge their parents like this? Neither of us thinks we did this to our parents. 3. Do you have any practical suggestions for us? Names Withheld

Is Everything A 10?

13 Heshvan 5768 – October 24, 2007
One of the techniques I have found most helpful when mediating disputes between rebellious adolescents and their parents is to give the teenager six or eight index cards, and ask him or her to jot down a request or concession that he or she would like his parents to grant.

Shabbat Guests

5 Heshvan 5768 – October 17, 2007
Rabbi Horowitz: We have very different views on the issue of having guests over for Shabbat meals.

On Confidentiality

28 Elul 5767 – September 11, 2007
Rabbi Horowitz: My daughter has confided in me that one of her friends is cutting herself, and she is concerned that her friend may really hurt herself - or worse, chas v'shalom. She made me promise not to tell anyone.

Pre-Marriage Education: The S.H.A.L.O.M. Workshop

This column usually focuses on the issue of teens at risk and finding ways families can become closer to their children. This week, I turn my attention to one of the most important stages before parenthood: the critical period when couples are engaged.

Letter From Your Teenage Child

15 Elul 5767 – August 29, 2007
Dear Mommy and Daddy: Imagine how you would feel if you were told that, two years from today, our entire family would need to relocate to a different part of the country.

Under One Roof

Had I been told a year ago that in a short amount of time my husband and I would have all of our children living with us under one roof, I would have thought it was a joke. Although my husband and I had been working toward this goal for all the years of our marriage, with each passing year it seemed less and less of a possibility.

Parenting Matters

8 Elul 5767 – August 22, 2007
You see a small plastic bottle of Visine or other brands of eye drops in the room of your teen son or daughter. He/she seems to have lingering colds and reddish eyes. You must have misplaced some cash in the house (several times, in fact) over the past few months. Your adolescent son or daughter begs off family simchahs, and his/her last report card was a disaster. Obviously, any one or two of these factors could be completely harmless. But in the aggregate, they are often signs of impending substance abuse issues. Parents of at-risk adolescents need to become more knowledgeable about these symptoms.

Jumpstarting Your Child’s Life: Parenting An At-Risk Teen

1 Elul 5767 – August 15, 2007
Imagine going for a walk one winter morning and finding your neighbor sitting in his car vigorously turning the steering wheel while the engine is shut off. When you ask him why he doesn't start the car, he responds that his battery died, and he will soon get jumper cables to give it a boost. However, before he does that, he would like to turn the front wheels away from the curb so that he can instantly be able to pull out of the parking space once his automobile starts.

After The Visit

24 Av 5767 – August 8, 2007
Recently, my two children from my first marriage visited with their father after three and-a-half years of not seeing him. Even though I was faced with some opposition from friends and relatives that lived through my divorce and its aftermath with me, I actually supported the idea.

On Davening (Part III)

17 Av 5767 – August 1, 2007
In the first two Jewish Press columns in this series - published on June 15 and June 22, 2007 - we discussed, "Understanding Tefillos" and "Building Spirituality" in response to the questions posted by two parents asking how to better motivate their children (a 12-year-old girl and 8-year-old boy) to improve their davening. In this column, we will address the following issues: · A feeling of connection to Hashem and the faith that our tefillos are answered; and · Age-appropriate settings and expectations for tefillos.

All Alone … Again: Tisha B’Av 5767

3 Av 5767 – July 18, 2007
"Eichah yashvah vadad - Alas; she sits in solitude" (Eicha 1:1). The haunting words of Megilas Eichah resonate in our hearts and minds as we prepare to sit on the ground this coming Tisha B'Av and commemorate the destruction of the second Beis Hamikdash 1,939 years ago.

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