Childhood Resilience

Posted on: January 13th, 2010

Why is it that one youth involved in a trauma or difficult situation seems to bounce right back with little effect on his daily functioning while another youth seems to take forever to get back to his usual self?

More Common Teenage Issues

Posted on: January 8th, 2010

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Mark, sixteen years old, has trouble sitting still in class. His mind wanders; he’s anxious and is failing many of his subjects. Mark was never tested for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder; somehow he slipped through the cracks in the system and never received the help he needed years ago. Mark now [...]

A Validating Experience (Part II)

Posted on: January 6th, 2010

How does one comfort an individual mourning the loss of a loved one? What does one say so that the grieving person will feel consoled?

Investing In Your Relationship

Posted on: December 25th, 2009

As many parents discover, building a good relationship with a teenager is not easy. Often teenagers are reluctant to be close to their parents, and at times they look to distance themselves as much as possible. If so, how can parents see beyond the daily power struggles of homework, keeping curfew, staying out of trouble, and succeeding in school?

A Validating Experience (Part I)

Posted on: December 23rd, 2009

Her tone of voice was no different than usual: demure; calm; in-control. And then she shared with me a couple of ill-conceived statement expressed to her by some "loving" individuals: "Don't think of her suffering as something bad." If she suffers now then at least she won't suffer in The Next World." And the next one, well, that just went over the top (mind you, this communication took place a couple of months after the High Holidays): "It looks like you didn't daven too well this past Yom Kippur."

The Gift That Keeps On Giving: Involving Young Children in Hands-on Chesed Activities

Posted on: December 23rd, 2009

One of the goals we all share as parents and educators is to instill an appreciation for the mitzvah of tzedakah (charity giving) in our children. I have found that one of the most effective methods of achieving this is to present young children with hands-on opportunities to participate in charity projects that are child-centered and age appropriate. There are those who take the attitude, especially as far as school-based programs for boys are concerned, that these are a distraction from limudim.

Relationship Centered Parenting

Posted on: December 12th, 2009

Building a relationship with your children is often one of the most overlooked aspects of parenting teenagers; yet clearly, as the evidence suggests, the relationship is key to managing a teenager’s at-risk behavior and restoring confidence in the family unit.

A Torah Perspective On Educating Our Children About Sexuality (Part X)

Posted on: November 28th, 2009

As we have been discussing, it is essential for parents to take an active role in teaching their children Torah ideas in regards to sexuality and modesty.

The Magic Pill

Posted on: November 27th, 2009

Life is full of stories about teenagers having difficulty making it through adolescence. However, parenting teens – even teens who are at risk – doesn’t have to be such a daunting task when parents are willing to focus more on the relationship and less on getting immediate results. Building the relationship is the key to reaching teens who are at risk.

BT Parents/FFB Kids (Part II)

Posted on: November 11th, 2009

In Part I (10-30-09) I responded to a question posed by a ba'al teshuvah (BT) who wanted to ensure that his frum-from-birth (FFB) children become well-integrated, healthy and normal, frum Jews.

BT Parents/FFB Kids (Part I)

Posted on: October 28th, 2009

Dear Rabbi Horowitz: What is your advice for ba'alei teshuvah (BT) parents raising frum-from-birth (FFB) children in terms of ensuring that the children are well-integrated, healthy and normal frum Jews? It is sometimes easy for us, as BT parents, to be very strict because of insecurities from our own upbringing and lack of family minhagim. It would be helpful if you offered a few pointers, to be explored with rebbe'im and suited for our family needs. Thank you.

A Torah Perspective on Educating Our Children About Sexuality (Part IX)

Posted on: October 21st, 2009

As we have discussed over the past few weeks, it is essential, especially in these times, that parents take an active role in teaching their children Torah ideas in regards to sexuality and modesty.

A Torah Perspective On Educating Our Children About Sexuality (Part VIII)

Posted on: October 12th, 2009

Over the past few weeks we have been focusing on how necessary it is, especially today, that parents take an active role in teaching their children the Torah’s view on sexuality and modesty. We have pointed out how important it is that first images to fill a child’s mind in regards to these concepts be appropriate ones.

A Torah Perspective on Educating Our Children About Sexuality (Part VII)

Posted on: October 7th, 2009

Over the past few weeks we have been focusing on how necessary it is, especially today, that parents take an active role in teaching their children the Torah's view on sexuality and modesty and how important it is that first images to fill a child's mind in regards to these concepts be appropriate ones.

A Torah Perspective on Educating Our Children About Sexuality (Part VI)

Posted on: September 30th, 2009

Over the past few weeks we have been focusing on how necessary it is, especially today, that parents take an active role in teaching their children the Torah's view on sexuality and modesty. It is important that the first images that fill their minds in regards to these concepts be appropriate ones.

Uproar: Post Traumatic Embitterment Disorder?

Posted on: September 30th, 2009

In a paper greeted enthusiastically at the May conference of the American Psychiatric Association, in San Francisco, a new name was given to a common problem, Post Traumatic Embitterment Disorder. My initial response: another excuse to drug people. However, upon thinking it over, I think that the word embittered does describe the essence of a serious problem. Many of us suffer from some degree of jealousy and bitterness about the injustices in our lives. But does that make us embittered? I would hope not. So, what characterizes embittered people? Here are some actual examples (the names have been changed):

Incentives Or Bribes (Part II)

Posted on: September 23rd, 2009

Dear Rabbi Horowitz: We would appreciate your thoughts regarding offering our children incentives, financial or otherwise, for doing well in school this year. We don't want to bribe our kids but, on the other hand, incentives seem to work very well. What do you think? Yaakov and Susan

A Torah Perspective on Educating Our Children About Sexuality (Part V)

Posted on: September 23rd, 2009

In the past several articles we have discussed the importance of parents taking an active role in teaching their children Torah ideas about sexuality and modesty. This is because it is essential that the first images to that fill their developing minds on these concepts must be appropriate ones. There is so much invasive exposure they experience from secular culture, and much to be concerned about in regards to the existence of sexual predators in our midst. If children do not possess clear knowledge and an age-appropriate understanding of the parts of their body and how they can be used or misused it is hard for them to protect themselves.

The Past, The Present, The Future: From Generation To Generation

Posted on: September 16th, 2009

"Time waits for no man" is an old saying, though I'm not sure where it originated. Other such sayings like, "time flies by too quickly" or "the older you get, the faster time flies by," also contain meaningful messages. For me, I can't believe how quickly the days and years go by. When I think about it, I realize how we must make the very most of each day to accomplish what is important while we still have the opportunity.

A Torah Perspective On Educating Our Children About Sexuality (Part IV)

Posted on: September 16th, 2009

Over the past few weeks, we have been making the point that parents must take an active role in teaching their children Torah ideas about sexuality and modesty. This is so that the first images and concepts that fill their developing minds are appropriate ones. This is especially true because of the amount of invasive exposure they receive from secular sources and culture, and also because we can no longer afford to be na?ve about the existence of sexual predators in our midst.