web analytics
August 5, 2015 / 20 Av, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Parenting: Protective And Positive?

Schonfeld-logo1

As parents, it’s important to see the intense, often irritating traits as the seeds of a child’s greatness.

Try reframing some negative traits in this way:

Your stubborn child as persistent
Your loud child as exuberant
Your shy child as cautious and modest
Your reckless or rule-breaking child as daring and adventurous
Your picky or nervous child as serious and detail-oriented

Once you have thought about what your child’s negative (and reframed positive trait) is, consider whether your child has an opportunity to express her natural tendencies in a constructive way. For children like Lucy, perhaps presenting her with opportunities to remind Mommy about things she needs to do, to set the table, and to teach her sister a new game every week will provide positive outlets to her seemingly negative traits. While this might not help her to get ride of her negative inclinations, it will definitely give her positive ways to express her yetzer hara.

When Reframing Doesn’t Succeed: How To Discipline Verbally

Of course, there will be times when your child’s yetzer hara gets the best of him and he will need to be rebuked or punished. In this case, Mogel points out, we can again look to Jewish tradition and culture. The Rambam lays out the essential criteria for administering a helpful admonishment to any person (including children):

Administer the rebuke in private.

Speak to the offender gently and tenderly.

Remember that you are speaking for the wrongdoer’s benefit – not to humiliate or seek revenge against him.

Put your rebuke in the context of your high regard for the person being rebuked (after all, you wouldn’t be disciplining them if you didn’t care about them).

Talking to your child in this sensitive and positive way will allow your message to be heard in a clearer and more lucid manner. It’s amazing in how many ways the Torah can guide our daily lives.

About the Author: An acclaimed educator and education consultant, Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has served the Jewish community for close to thirty years. She founded and directs the widely acclaimed educational program, SOS, servicing all grade levels in secular as well as Hebrew studies. A kriah and reading specialist, she has given dynamic workshops and has set up reading labs in many schools. In addition, she offers evaluations G.E.D. preparation,, social skills training and shidduch coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness. She can be reached at 718-382-5437 or at rifkaschonfeld@verizon.net. Visit her on the web at rifkaschonfeldsos.com.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

2 Responses to “Parenting: Protective And Positive?”

  1. Roberto Battistini says:

    Very interesting. Thank you

  2. Roberto Battistini says:

    Very interesting. Thank you

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
The Quran
Dawa* at Chautauqua
Latest Sections Stories
South-Florida-logo

An impressive group of counselors and staff members are providing the boys and girls with a summer of fun and Torah learning and a lifetime of wonderful memories.

South-Florida-logo

Rabbi Sam Intrator recently led a summer program in Williams Island, located in Aventura. The event focused on how to find spiritual joy in Judaism. The rabbi cited biblical and Talmudic teachings, ancient Temple rituals, and the words of prayers to establish the role that love and positive thinking have in Torah values. Rabbi Intrator […]

South-Florida-logo

The Iranian deal was sealed on July 14, four and a half months after Netanyahu’s visit. The details of the agreement were shocking and worse than anyone had imagined.

There are so many toys available for newborn to age 5, but how do you choose?

In 1939, with life getting harder for Jews, she and several friends decided it was time to make aliyah, and applied at the Palestina Amt for permits.

I am not sure how many of you readers have had this experience, but I did and it truly tested the limits of my sanity!

Aside from my own 485-page tome on the subject, Red Army, I think Jamie Glazov did an excellent job at framing things in United in Hate: The Left’s Romance with Tyranny and Terror.

We studied his seforim together, we listened to famous cantorial masters and we spoke of his illustrious yichus, his pedigree, dating back to the famous commentator, Rashi.

Jews who were considered, but not ultimately selected, include Woody Allen, Saul Bellow, David Ben-Gurion, Marc Chagall, Anne Frank, and Barbra Streisand.

More Articles from Rifka Schonfeld
Schonfeld-logo1

What’s the difference between the first and second ten-year-old?

Schonfeld-logo1

So, what do we do about grammar? Should we do grammar drills? Should we hope that the students pick it up from reading?

Most experts agree that with specialized coaching, a person’s social “intelligence” can be significantly raised.

Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or Executive Function Disorder (EFD) have trouble keeping themselves organized and on-task.

We never cease to be students, even when we are no longer in school. Therefore, everyone can learn from these elements of thought.

The warm parenting style indicates to children, “I love you and will take care of you” and the firm parenting style lets children know, “I expect something from you.”

When we are faced with danger, our body goes into what scientists call “fight or flight” mode.

This doesn’t mean that anyone who occasionally has a piece of chocolate as a pick-me-up is an emotional eater.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/parenting-protective-and-positive/2013/10/04/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: