web analytics
May 20, 2013 /11 Sivan, 5773
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
jumping Following a Passion for Sports to Israel

In Israel, a new five month scholarship program being offered to young aspiring athletes – one of them could be you.



Please Educate Frum Boys Not To Smoke!


tell a friend
Family-logo

I often see my neighbor driving by, puffing on a cigarette, with the car windows closed and all seven stony-faced children and wife inhaling the poisonous air. His young wife has undergone open-heart surgery twice and two children have asthma. When I asked him once how he could endanger their lives, he blithely answered, “I put on the air conditioner, so the smoke doesn’t affect them. Anyways,” he laughed, “Rav Kaduri, z”l, smoked until he died at age 120. So maybe I’ll live longer if I smoke.” I guess he thought he was being funny.

Most frum people are in total denial about the epidemic of obesity, heart disease and diabetes in our society. Their apathy is killing a lot of people. I beg all of you – leaders and teachers in the frum world – to take action!

Let’s start with cigarettes. Smoking is not just a bad habit that is confined to one small part of a person’s life. It presupposes a general attitude of, “I couldn’t care less” and “I don’t take responsibility for my behavior.” Smoking announces the following to the world:

· “I don’t care about my health. I don’t care that each cigarette contains 5,000 different poisons, many of them carcinogenic.

· “I don’t care if the cigarettes destroy my immune system. The immediate pleasure is worth all the pain I might suffer in the future.”

· “We all have to die sometime; I want to enjoy myself until I die.”

· “I don’t care about my wife’s health. I don’t care that women married to smokers have more cancer, especially cervical cancer.”

· “I don’t care about the children’s health. It doesn’t matter that they are likely to suffer from asthma or other chronic health conditions.”

· “The only way I can handle my anxiety is by smoking. I might go crazy or get violent if I stop.”

· “I am impulsive and impatient. I don’t have self-discipline.”

· “I don’t care that I will soon become impotent. All the more reason to smoke! At least it gives me pleasure.”

· “I don’t care about the future. I don’t care if I get throat or lung cancer, or leave my wife a widow.”

· “I don’t care about all the money I waste. My pleasure comes first.”

· “I don’t keep my promises. True I promised to stop, but that was long ago and I didn’t know I’d have to deal with so much stress.”

· “I don’t believe the research showing that smoking is dangerous. Whenever my time is up, it’ll be up – whether I smoke or not.”

· “I don’t like to think about health matters or take responsibility for my health. Let the doctors take responsibility for me.”

· “I don’t care if I wake up hacking and coughing every morning. It’s worth the pleasure I get. I don’t care who might be affected by my habit.”

Before marriage, most smokers tell their prospective brides, “I promise to stop as soon as we are married.” They think that the enjoyment of marriage will offset the pain of stopping the addiction. However, the minute they feel stressed, they reach for a cigarette because their brains are programmed to associate stress-reduction with cigarettes. Furthermore, the minute he is upset with her, he may want to “punish” her by smoking or simply bring pleasure back into his life.

When you marry an addict, the addiction always comes first – before you, the children and life itself. If he doesn’t care about his life, will he care about yours?

No addiction is more difficult to break than the nicotine addiction. However, as with all addictions − including the addiction to junk foods − by learning to handle disappointment and deprivation, we engage in the exciting spiritual journey of self-leadership and self-esteem. I strongly recommend EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to help reprogram the brain and help deal with the feelings of deprivation during the first few days. Also, large doses of vitamin C, vitamin B and 45 minutes of sports can cut down on the cravings.

We need a health revolution in the frum world. Let this year be one in which we all learn to take responsibility for our physical health – as well as our spiritual health.

They are inseparable!

Dr. Miriam Adahan’s new “survival guide” for people in abusive relationships, From Victim To Victor, can be ordered for $15 from the Adahan Fund, 2700 W. Chase, Chicago, Il. 60645, or in Israel at 13/5 Uzrad, Jerusalem, 97277. All contributions and proceeds go to impoverished people in Israel, including terror victims and single mothers. Dr. Adahan can be reached at emett@netvision.net.il or 972-2-5868201. Visit her website at www.adahanonline.com.

tell a friend

About the Author:


You might also be interested in:


no comments

You must log in to post a comment.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Ring suspects are are being held without bail.
Captured Palestinian Cigarette Smuggler behind Ari Halberstam 1994 Murder
Latest Sections Stories
Teens-051713

Leah Katz, a TeenZone camper at Oorah’s TheZone summer camp and an 11th grader at Midwood High School, read her winning essay about how TheZone changed her views on Judaism at the Jewish Heritage Awards Ceremony held at Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes’s office in April. The purpose of the Jewish Heritage Essay Contest is to acquaint public school students with Jewish history and customs and to help foster a deeper understanding of Jewish culture. The contest is open to students of all ethnic and religious backgrounds. Leah’s essay is reproduced in full below.

Yolande Gabai Harmer

Moshe Sharett, the head of the Jewish Agency’s Political Department, visited Egypt in 1945. In Cairo he met a most remarkable young woman, a beautiful journalist who was the darling of Egyptian high society – from high-ranking military brass, to culture icons and Muslim sheikhs, to the court of King Faruk.

Respler-Yael

The two proceeded to talk about everyday things and surprisingly her mother-in-law did not find anything else to criticize. This occurred a few more times, with my client changing the topic every time by complimenting her mother-in-law or mentioning something positive about her.

Schonfeld-logo1

There is always a lot of confusion surrounding sensory processing disorder – mainly because there are many different diagnoses that fall under the catch-all phrase sensory processing disorder (SPD). Among them are three specific subcategories:

The doctor had warned us that even if we did everything right and followed the protocol after the follicle was of the right size, there was no guarantee of success. Fertilization still had to occur, and just like couples do not necessarily become pregnant every month, we had no way to know if we were actually expecting for two full weeks.

Jewish Press columnist Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis, founder and president of Hineni, the international Torah outreach organization, recently addressed an overflowing audience at the Beth Jacob Congregation of Irvine in southern California. Rebbetzin Jungreis’s address theme, “Making a Good Relationship Magical,” was apropos for the evening’s main mission: raising funds for the Irvine community’s mikveh.

You have probably been planning your marriage since you were about three. Let’s fast-forward to a big milestone– your twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. (Don’t worry, you don’t look a day over twenty one!) Now, would you appreciate your husband buying you a dozen roses that some florist recommended?

As I mentioned in my earlier articles about our family trip to Israel, our night flight went pretty smooth, thanks to my children’s willingness to sleep throughout the flight. I, on the other hand, didn’t sleep a wink and I wasn’t feeling too great by the time we landed. But we were finally in Israel, and just being in the beautifully renovated Ben Gurion airport and hearing all the Hebrew around us was exciting enough.

While all the flowers that grace your Shavuos table will surely be a delight to your eye, these will be a delight for your palette as well. Create them at any level, simple or sophisticated; any way you make them they’re sure to be a sensation.

Welcome back to “You’re Asking Me?” where we attempt to answer questions sent in by people who fortunately have fake names, so they won’t be embarrassed. I don’t know how they got through school, though.

Speechless wonder is the reaction to the beautiful vision seen though the Arch of the Keshet Cave at the Adamit Park in the Galilee. One of the most amazing natural wonders in Eretz Yisrael, the Me’arat Hakeshet — also known as the Rainbow Cave or Arch Cave — can be found up against the Israel-Lebanon border just a few kilometers from Rosh Hanikra and the sparkling blue Mediterranean Sea. It is situated amid the wild scenery on the cliffs of Nachal Betzet and Nachal Namer, on the Adamit Ridge.

More Articles from Dr. Miriam Adahan

Chaim* was admired in yeshiva for his incredible diligence. His days were consumed with learning and he could be found in the Beis Midrash almost 24/7. For him, sleep was a waste of time. Great things were forecast for his future until neighbors found him lying in the middle of the street in Geula, hallucinating that he was Moshiach. Medications stopped his racing mind but made him feel like a zombie. He became depressed and shell of his former self. His parents thought they were acting responsibly when they had him hospitalized and then put in a hostel.

Lessons-logo

Since suffering from colitis as a teen, I finally adopted a strict diet in my 30s that ended my torment. It wasn’t easy to forgo white flour, white sugar and all chemical additives, but it meant that I spend the last 40 years pretty much free of doctors, medications and illness, thank God. Thus, I was surprised when two weeks before Rosh Hashanah, I began to experience increasingly severe stomach discomfort – until I was barely able to move. Despite what I was soon to endure, it helped greatly to focus on the moment-to-moment miracles.

As a teenager, I suffered from occasional panic attacks, social anxiety, and more than the usual amount of teenage angst. In today’s drug-obsessed society, I would certainly have been given psych meds; thankfully, back then, it was expected that maturity would bring greater resilience and awareness. And so it was.

Psychologist David Richo defines love in terms of five A’s: appreciation, affection, attentiveness (listening), acceptance and allowing (as in allowing others the freedom to fulfill their own dreams). Love is the opposite of control.

The couple had barely completed their brief intake papers, which included a small handwriting sample, when, her eyes blazing with fury, the wife pounded on the small table between us and yelled, “He has to grow up! I need a husband who is a real partner, not a lazy good-for-nothing who won’t take responsibility and is totally clueless about my needs!” Her husband sat hunched in his chair, looking like a hapless cat which had somehow survived the spin cycle in a washing machine.

Kindness is such an essential Jewish trait that we are told to suspect that a cruel person is not really Jewish. The media constantly uplifts us with inspirational stories about saintly people who radiated love to their fellowman and did their utmost to avoid hurting others. Yet we are also told, “Those who are kind to the cruel will eventually be cruel to the kind” (Koheles Raba 7:16). It is not a kindness to allow ourselves to be abused, exploited or manipulated. By not taking protective action when possible, we encourage destructive behavior. The following stories are examples of naïve and trusting people who paid a heavy price for being overly “nice.”

In a paper greeted enthusiastically at the May conference of the American Psychiatric Association, in San Francisco, a new name was given to a common problem, Post Traumatic Embitterment Disorder. My initial response: another excuse to drug people. However, upon thinking it over, I think that the word embittered does describe the essence of a serious problem. Many of us suffer from some degree of jealousy and bitterness about the injustices in our lives. But does that make us embittered? I would hope not. So, what characterizes embittered people? Here are some actual examples (the names have been changed):

Like medical doctors, every therapist is tormented at times with the question of the hopelessness or hopefulness of a marriage or any other relationship. Everyone is anxious to know if the “broken” spouse/child/parent/sibling can be fixed. With desperation in their voices, they ask, “Can medication, therapy or other interventions turn him/her around and stop him/her from being so depressed, anxious, addicted or angry?” How can a therapist say, “There is no hope.”?

    Latest Poll

    Which is the most beautiful location in Jerusalem?









    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/please-educate-frum-boys-not-to-smoke/2008/12/24/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online:

Close