web analytics
July 24, 2014 / 26 Tammuz, 5774
Israel at War: Operation Protective Edge
 
 
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
IDC Advocacy Room IDC Fights War on Another Front

Student Union opens ‘hasbara’ room in effort to fill public diplomacy vacuum.



Please Educate Frum Boys Not To Smoke!


Family-logo

I often see my neighbor driving by, puffing on a cigarette, with the car windows closed and all seven stony-faced children and wife inhaling the poisonous air. His young wife has undergone open-heart surgery twice and two children have asthma. When I asked him once how he could endanger their lives, he blithely answered, “I put on the air conditioner, so the smoke doesn’t affect them. Anyways,” he laughed, “Rav Kaduri, z”l, smoked until he died at age 120. So maybe I’ll live longer if I smoke.” I guess he thought he was being funny.

Most frum people are in total denial about the epidemic of obesity, heart disease and diabetes in our society. Their apathy is killing a lot of people. I beg all of you – leaders and teachers in the frum world – to take action!

Let’s start with cigarettes. Smoking is not just a bad habit that is confined to one small part of a person’s life. It presupposes a general attitude of, “I couldn’t care less” and “I don’t take responsibility for my behavior.” Smoking announces the following to the world:

· “I don’t care about my health. I don’t care that each cigarette contains 5,000 different poisons, many of them carcinogenic.

· “I don’t care if the cigarettes destroy my immune system. The immediate pleasure is worth all the pain I might suffer in the future.”

· “We all have to die sometime; I want to enjoy myself until I die.”

· “I don’t care about my wife’s health. I don’t care that women married to smokers have more cancer, especially cervical cancer.”

· “I don’t care about the children’s health. It doesn’t matter that they are likely to suffer from asthma or other chronic health conditions.”

· “The only way I can handle my anxiety is by smoking. I might go crazy or get violent if I stop.”

· “I am impulsive and impatient. I don’t have self-discipline.”

· “I don’t care that I will soon become impotent. All the more reason to smoke! At least it gives me pleasure.”

· “I don’t care about the future. I don’t care if I get throat or lung cancer, or leave my wife a widow.”

· “I don’t care about all the money I waste. My pleasure comes first.”

· “I don’t keep my promises. True I promised to stop, but that was long ago and I didn’t know I’d have to deal with so much stress.”

· “I don’t believe the research showing that smoking is dangerous. Whenever my time is up, it’ll be up – whether I smoke or not.”

· “I don’t like to think about health matters or take responsibility for my health. Let the doctors take responsibility for me.”

· “I don’t care if I wake up hacking and coughing every morning. It’s worth the pleasure I get. I don’t care who might be affected by my habit.”

Before marriage, most smokers tell their prospective brides, “I promise to stop as soon as we are married.” They think that the enjoyment of marriage will offset the pain of stopping the addiction. However, the minute they feel stressed, they reach for a cigarette because their brains are programmed to associate stress-reduction with cigarettes. Furthermore, the minute he is upset with her, he may want to “punish” her by smoking or simply bring pleasure back into his life.

When you marry an addict, the addiction always comes first – before you, the children and life itself. If he doesn’t care about his life, will he care about yours?

No addiction is more difficult to break than the nicotine addiction. However, as with all addictions − including the addiction to junk foods − by learning to handle disappointment and deprivation, we engage in the exciting spiritual journey of self-leadership and self-esteem. I strongly recommend EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to help reprogram the brain and help deal with the feelings of deprivation during the first few days. Also, large doses of vitamin C, vitamin B and 45 minutes of sports can cut down on the cravings.

We need a health revolution in the frum world. Let this year be one in which we all learn to take responsibility for our physical health – as well as our spiritual health.

They are inseparable!

Dr. Miriam Adahan’s new “survival guide” for people in abusive relationships, From Victim To Victor, can be ordered for $15 from the Adahan Fund, 2700 W. Chase, Chicago, Il. 60645, or in Israel at 13/5 Uzrad, Jerusalem, 97277. All contributions and proceeds go to impoverished people in Israel, including terror victims and single mothers. Dr. Adahan can be reached at emett@netvision.net.il or 972-2-5868201. Visit her website at www.adahanonline.com.

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Please Educate Frum Boys Not To Smoke!”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Shimon Peres meets with the family of fallen IDF soldier Max Steinberg.
Four Notes on The Situation
Latest Sections Stories

With the recent kidnapping by the Hamas and the barbaric murder of three children – Gilad Shaar, Eyal Yifrach and Naftali Frankel, we believe that the best answer to honor the memory of those murdered is to continue building those very communities – large and small – that our enemies are trying to destroy.

book-Family-Frayda

Written entirely through Frayda’s eyes, the reader is drawn by her unassuming personality.

book-I-Kings

Adopting an ancient exegetical approach that is based on midrashic readings of the text, thematic connections that span between various books of the Bible are revealed.

While Lipman comes from an ultra-Orthodox background and is an Orthodox rabbi, he offers a breath of fresh air when he suggests that “polarization caused by extremism and isolationism in the religious community may be the greatest internal threat to the future of the Jewish people”

The Joys of Yiddish, Leo Rosten defines a mentch as “someone to admire and emulate, someone of noble character.”

Certainly today’s communication via e-mail, Facebook, Twitter and the like, including the ubiquitous Whatsapp, has reduced the need to talk with people and communicate at length.

These two special women utilized their incredibly painful experience as an opportunity to assist others.

Maybe we don’t have to lose that growth and unity that we have achieved, especially with the situation in Eretz Yisrael right now.

Sleepily, I watched him kissing Mai’s chubby thighs.

I have always insisted that everything that happens to anyone or anything is min Shamayim.

My teachers like me and they tell my parents that I am a great girl with good middos.

The chicken and waffle nuggets were fabulous and were like chicken in a dessert form.

“Have you forgotten your dreams?” The Hope Merchant asks a defeated and hopeless Lily when she “happens” upon his shop.

More Articles from Dr. Miriam Adahan

Chaim* was admired in yeshiva for his incredible diligence. His days were consumed with learning and he could be found in the Beis Midrash almost 24/7. For him, sleep was a waste of time. Great things were forecast for his future until neighbors found him lying in the middle of the street in Geula, hallucinating that he was Moshiach. Medications stopped his racing mind but made him feel like a zombie. He became depressed and shell of his former self. His parents thought they were acting responsibly when they had him hospitalized and then put in a hostel.

Lessons-logo

Since suffering from colitis as a teen, I finally adopted a strict diet in my 30s that ended my torment. It wasn’t easy to forgo white flour, white sugar and all chemical additives, but it meant that I spend the last 40 years pretty much free of doctors, medications and illness, thank God. Thus, I was surprised when two weeks before Rosh Hashanah, I began to experience increasingly severe stomach discomfort – until I was barely able to move. Despite what I was soon to endure, it helped greatly to focus on the moment-to-moment miracles.

As a teenager, I suffered from occasional panic attacks, social anxiety, and more than the usual amount of teenage angst. In today’s drug-obsessed society, I would certainly have been given psych meds; thankfully, back then, it was expected that maturity would bring greater resilience and awareness. And so it was.

Psychologist David Richo defines love in terms of five A’s: appreciation, affection, attentiveness (listening), acceptance and allowing (as in allowing others the freedom to fulfill their own dreams). Love is the opposite of control.

The couple had barely completed their brief intake papers, which included a small handwriting sample, when, her eyes blazing with fury, the wife pounded on the small table between us and yelled, “He has to grow up! I need a husband who is a real partner, not a lazy good-for-nothing who won’t take responsibility and is totally clueless about my needs!” Her husband sat hunched in his chair, looking like a hapless cat which had somehow survived the spin cycle in a washing machine.

Kindness is such an essential Jewish trait that we are told to suspect that a cruel person is not really Jewish. The media constantly uplifts us with inspirational stories about saintly people who radiated love to their fellowman and did their utmost to avoid hurting others. Yet we are also told, “Those who are kind to the cruel will eventually be cruel to the kind” (Koheles Raba 7:16). It is not a kindness to allow ourselves to be abused, exploited or manipulated. By not taking protective action when possible, we encourage destructive behavior. The following stories are examples of naïve and trusting people who paid a heavy price for being overly “nice.”

In a paper greeted enthusiastically at the May conference of the American Psychiatric Association, in San Francisco, a new name was given to a common problem, Post Traumatic Embitterment Disorder. My initial response: another excuse to drug people. However, upon thinking it over, I think that the word embittered does describe the essence of a serious problem. Many of us suffer from some degree of jealousy and bitterness about the injustices in our lives. But does that make us embittered? I would hope not. So, what characterizes embittered people? Here are some actual examples (the names have been changed):

Like medical doctors, every therapist is tormented at times with the question of the hopelessness or hopefulness of a marriage or any other relationship. Everyone is anxious to know if the “broken” spouse/child/parent/sibling can be fixed. With desperation in their voices, they ask, “Can medication, therapy or other interventions turn him/her around and stop him/her from being so depressed, anxious, addicted or angry?” How can a therapist say, “There is no hope.”?

    Latest Poll

    Do you think the FAA ban on US flights to Israel is political?






    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/please-educate-frum-boys-not-to-smoke/2008/12/24/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: