A close friend who has lost touch with her adult children from her first marriage years ago, and has tried to reconnect with them through these channels, has found her access “blocked,” sending her a clear message that they are not ready at this time to reconnect. She will keep trying though, and it is my hope that they will all have a chance to really communicate someday.
When my daughter was younger she told me that my talking to just one close friends and confidant, who happened to be a mental health professional I turned to for guidance, was embarrassing to her. I can only imagine how she would have felt had I posted our daily challenges to the masses on a “social network”.
You may be questioning why I view writing articles about my family any differently than posting information on a network. There have been a number of occasions over the years when I received e-mails from readers who felt I was sharing too much and wondered how it affected my family. I review my writing with those family members who would be affected and ask their permission to share specific situations we have dealt with. At times I have stayed away from certain subjects or have omitted details based on their input. We are all in agreement that if we can give support (chizuk) to others going through divorce and re-marriage there are certainly things that could and should be shared in the proper way.
Timing is another important component for my family. The challenges we share are often events of the past that we have learned and grown from. The information is not instantaneous. Time has been proven to be a wonderful healer and if we had communicated the challenge while in the midst of it, we would not have had the benefit of hindsight – which often changes the picture entirely.
So many of us have become hooked on the instant communication and while there are benefits, just be wise and think ahead. What you post today may come back to haunt you tomorrow.
About the Author: Yehudit welcomes and encourages input and feedback on issues relating to the Blended Family and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org
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