4) If there are things that you do not want your son to have, keep those things out of sight. While this is not always feasible, especially when you are preoccupied with other matters, try to have an acceptable treat on hand for your son or give him an acceptable choice from among other available items.
Also, if your child is tired or hungry, put him to sleep or give him something to eat.
5) Pick your battles. If it’s possible to accommodate your child, please do so. But if you are unable to, stick to your guns; to give in would be tantamount to rewarding tantrum behavior. If you are at a standstill, try persuading him by speaking in a calm voice and ask him to seek his request in a nice way.
Finally, always be strong and consistent if it is a safety issue. Your son must understand that no matter what he does, you will not allow him to endanger himself. In these cases, distract your son and ignore his tantrum if he persists. If you cannot take the screaming, put your son in a safe place, take a timeout of your own to calm down, and let him know that when he stops screaming you would love to play a game with him or simply talk. But stress that you cannot talk to him when he screams.
If none of my suggestions and techniques works, please seek professional help from a child psychologist. Extremely stubborn kids can use outside assistance to resolve their issues. Hatzlachah!Dr. Yael Respler
About the Author: Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to firstname.lastname@example.org. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.
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