web analytics
July 31, 2015 / 15 Av, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


What Kids Worry About

Schonfeld-logo1

Do you remember the good old days when kids were kids and there was never anything to worry about? Those days never really existed, but today there are issues kids worry about that weren’t issues for some adults. They include fear of bullying, natural disasters, divorce, and violence.

 

Bullies

According to the Journal of the American Medical Association, over 30% of children are estimated to be involved in bullying, either as the aggressor or as the target. Each year, 160,000 students miss at least one day of school because they fear dealing with a bully. The effects of bullying on the victim are well documented.  If the aggression continues for a prolonged time, it can affect a child’s self-esteem and self-worth, leading him or her to become withdrawn, depressed, anxious and insecure. What’s more, there are also negative effects on the bully. Those who act as bullies seem to maintain these characteristics into adulthood (if not properly intervened), negatively influencing their ability to develop mature adult relationships.

The best thing a parent can do is listen and allow your child to feel his or her emotions. Even if bullying is not occurring, the fear of bullying is natural and powerful. If there is only anxiety, a discussion can empower your child to feel that he can overcome these feelings. If, however, there is actual bullying going on, you should address the issue with your child’s school.

 

Natural disasters

Hurricanes, tsunamis and earthquakes seem to be in the news on a regular basis these days, making it perfectly normal for a child to fear that these natural disasters can occur in his area as well. With New York City heavily hit by Hurricane Sandy last year, many children fear it will happen again.  For those who live in more heavily affected areas, this fear can be overwhelming.

The key is to stay calm and not engage in lengthily explanations. Say something like, “Yes, bad things can happen, but it is unlikely to happen to us again. Plus, we had the opportunity to learn and we can make sure that we are safe if there ever is another storm.”

 

 

Violence

Our community was devastated and stunned several years ago when a young boy did not make it home from his day camp. We continue to mourn his loss. For other children, the case was particularly distressing and unsettling, as many were aware of his disappearance. On a broader level, children often hear about school shootings or other violence that makes them feel that their home, school, and community are not safe havens.

There are several ways you can help alleviate your child’s anxiety (and perhaps your own):

  • Pick out “safe spots.” If your child is old enough to walk on the street alone, pick out different spots on his route that are designated as “safe.” These might include grandparents’ house, the library, police stations, the firehouse, familiar stores and restaurants, or friends’ houses. Teach your child to use those safe spots if he feels that he is in danger.
  • Travel in groups. Whenever possible teach your child that it is best if he walks or bikes with friends. Predators are less likely to prey on groups of children, whereas a child walking alone is an easier target.
  • No short cuts. If your child is used to his route to and from school, tell him he is not allowed to take any shortcuts through parking lots or alleyways. He should stay on heavily populated streets that are familiar and well lit. Talk about the areas of your neighborhood that are safer than others and do test-runs with him to ensure that he learns the route.
  • Check in. The adult who takes care of the child needs to know where he is at all times. To that end, children should tell their parents exactly where they are going and at exactly what time they will get there and return. This way, children learn to be aware and responsible for their comings and goings.
  • Avoid speaking to strangers. In some extenuating circumstances, speaking to strangers is necessary, so teach your child how to choose the “safer” stranger. Explain that he should go into a store, or stop a woman with children.

About the Author: An acclaimed educator and education consultant, Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has served the Jewish community for close to thirty years. She founded and directs the widely acclaimed educational program, SOS, servicing all grade levels in secular as well as Hebrew studies. A kriah and reading specialist, she has given dynamic workshops and has set up reading labs in many schools. In addition, she offers evaluations G.E.D. preparation,, social skills training and shidduch coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness. She can be reached at 718-382-5437 or at rifkaschonfeld@verizon.net. Visit her on the web at rifkaschonfeldsos.com.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “What Kids Worry About”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Matt Lee of the Associated Press at the State Department press briefing.
ObameDeal Exposed: It’s not ‘Secret’ from Congress but not in Writing
Latest Sections Stories

We studied his seforim together, we listened to famous cantorial masters and we spoke of his illustrious yichus, his pedigree, dating back to the famous commentator, Rashi.

Singer-Saul-Jay-logo-NEW

Jews who were considered, but not ultimately selected, include Woody Allen, Saul Bellow, David Ben-Gurion, Marc Chagall, Anne Frank, and Barbra Streisand.

Personally I wish that I had a mother like my wife.

What’s the difference between the first and second ten-year-old?

What makes this diary so historically significant is that it is not just the private memoir of Dr. Seidman. Rather, it is a reflection of the suffering of Klal Yisrael at that time.

Rabbi Lau is a world class speaker. When he relates stories, even concentration camp stories, the audience is mesmerized. As we would soon discover, he is in the movie as well.

Each essay, some adapted from lectures Furst prepared for live audiences, begins with several basic questions around a key topic.

For the last several years, four Jewish schools in the Baltimore Jewish community have been expelling students who have not received their vaccinations.

“We can’t wait for session II to begin” said camp director Mrs. Judy Neufeld.

More Articles from Rifka Schonfeld
Schonfeld-logo1

What’s the difference between the first and second ten-year-old?

Schonfeld-logo1

So, what do we do about grammar? Should we do grammar drills? Should we hope that the students pick it up from reading?

Most experts agree that with specialized coaching, a person’s social “intelligence” can be significantly raised.

Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or Executive Function Disorder (EFD) have trouble keeping themselves organized and on-task.

We never cease to be students, even when we are no longer in school. Therefore, everyone can learn from these elements of thought.

The warm parenting style indicates to children, “I love you and will take care of you” and the firm parenting style lets children know, “I expect something from you.”

When we are faced with danger, our body goes into what scientists call “fight or flight” mode.

This doesn’t mean that anyone who occasionally has a piece of chocolate as a pick-me-up is an emotional eater.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/what-kids-worry-about/2013/12/06/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: