Photo Credit: Rifka Schonfeld

Encourage friendships. See if your daughter is interested in having one friend over at the house. Of course, do not push too hard because this can be a painful subject for children who lack self-confidence. And, make sure to invite only one friend at a time so that no one is excluded!

Spend alone time. Especially in large families, children can often feel like they get lost in the shuffle. This is normal (and sometimes inevitable), but can often lead to children feeling as if they are unworthy of attention. To this end, make a concerted effort to schedule a half hour of alone time per week with each child. You need not play a game – you can actually go to the supermarket together or do another errand – but being alone with you will provide each child with a sense of self-worth. “Wow, Mommy and I are going to the supermarket alone!”

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Self-confidence is a family affair. Family is the first place we decide who we are, and observe and practice how to be that way. If children decide that they are lovable and capable, they are building positive self-confidence. But, first we need to decide that we are happy in our own skin. We must stop tearing down our buildings and begin to build them, one brick at a time.

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An acclaimed educator and social skills ​specialist​, Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has served the Jewish community for close to thirty years. She founded and directs the widely acclaimed educational program, SOS, servicing all grade levels in secular as well as Hebrew studies. A kriah and reading specialist, she has given dynamic workshops and has set up reading labs in many schools. In addition, she offers evaluations G.E.D. preparation, social skills training and shidduch coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness. She can be reached at 718-382-5437 or at rifkaschonfeld@gmail.com.
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