web analytics
April 28, 2015 / 9 Iyar, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


At The Shushan Psychologist: “Tell us your Megillah! We’ll listen to every word.”

Name of Patient: Haman Amaleky

First Appointment

Physical Appearance: Patient is a bit on the short side, with shifty looking dark eyes. His black goatee and mustache both end in a curl. Patient is impeccably dressed in the latest Shushan fashions, and sports a signet ring, indicating a great amount of wealth and prestige.

 

Hello Mr. Haman. Please have a seat.

Panting for breath, the patient throws himself down onto my couch, moaning.

“Doctor, you have to help me!”

That’s what I’m here for. Please relax and we can talk about –

“It’s that Jew, Mordechai. He’s driving me insane! I can’t take it anymore!”

Mr. Haman screams, and smoke begins billowing out of his ears.

~Patient is loud and does not wait for others to finish talking. Patient seems to be harboring an enormous amount of animosity towards man named Mordechai.

Well, Mr. Haman, what did this Mordechai do to upset you?

“He…He…HE – ”

Is something funny Mr. Haman?

“No! No! I just…”

~Patient is getting agitated and twirling his goatee. A possible stress relieving technique? Seems to have trouble with coherency when frustrated. Probably a common occurrence.

Mr. Haman, take a deep breath. This works, I assure you. Come on, with me. Breathe in. Very good. You can let it out now Mr. Haman. Mr. Haman? Can you hear me?

A brief pause in the meeting as my assistant helps me bring the patient round. Haman gulps down some water and continues.

“Well, see Doc, there’s this Jew, Mordechai. Long story short, I hate him. He’s evil, I tell you. Evil!”

What makes you feel that way, Haman?

“HE IS!! OK?? Just trust me!”

The patient reaches to his side and clutches his jeweled dagger.

Please calm yourself, Mr. Haman, or I will have to call in my bodyguards.

Patient leans back and tries to relax, looking sheepish.

“Sorry. Well, anyway, this filthy little – ”

Excuse me?

“I – I mean, this Jew, Mordechai, one of the leaders of his people, I pass by him every day, right? And everyone is supposed to bow to me right? All the Jews have no problem doing it ok? But this guy NEVER even lowers his head!”

And how do you feel about that?

“HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?!?”

How do you think I should think you should feel, Mr. Haman?

“Umm…well, angry, for starters?”

Excellent. Expressing your feelings is a very good sign. What does that anger make you want to do?

“I dunno…do you think I should kill him and destroy his whole nation? Is that enough?”

~Patient has violent tendencies and is making threats. The authorities will be notified.

I think it’s more than enough.

“So you’re saying I should do it?”

No. I’m saying that that’s a bit dramatic.

“What?! Are you saying I’m DRAMATIC???”

No! THAT’S NOT WHAT I – (Cough). I’ m sorry for raising my voice. Mr. Haman, let’s look at everything we’ve just discussed. You’re telling me that this man –

“This JEW!”

Yes. This JEW, Mordechai, had the audacity not to bow down to you.

“Exactly! No respect!”

And now you want to kill him, and commit genocide as well.

“Well isn’t that what you would do?”

“Should I do it though, Doc?”

Well, Mr. Haman, as a psychologist, I cannot really tell you what to do. Only you can. I can merely advise.

“And what do you suggest?”

~Patient seems eager to listen to others’ opinions and follow, rather than follow his own and take responsibility.

“Wow you’re going through a lot of parchment there Doctor. Are you writing a novel?”

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “At The Shushan Psychologist: “Tell us your Megillah! We’ll listen to every word.””

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Aftermath of a rock-throwing attack in Samaria.
Arab Teen Attacker Shot, 2 Israelis Hurt in Attacks
Latest Sections Stories
Teens-Twenties-logo

The poetry slam required entrants to compose original poetry with powerful imagery and energetic rhythm bringing their poems to life – making it palpable to the audience.

Teens-Twenties-logo

“I was so inspired by the beautiful lessons I learned and by the holiness around me that I just couldn’t stop writing songs!” she says.

Schonfeld-logo1

But Pi Day is worst of all
I want the extra credit bad
But trying to remember many numbers
makes me sad.

Several thousand Eastern European Jews had escaped Nazi death and Soviet persecution by fleeing to Shanghai, China.

Now that we’re back to chometz, it’s just the right time to give thought to our wellbeing. Who doesn’t want to lose a few bulky matzah-and-potato pounds? Who wouldn’t like to eat smarter and feel better? If you’re like most people I know, these are probably the first things you’d like to address. It’s time […]

My mother-in-law and I have had our problems since the beginning of my marriage.

It was Lia van Leer who changed the image of filmmaking in Israel so that it is now seen as an expression of culture and not mere entertainment.

“People who never buy cookbooks are getting this one,” said Victoria. “They read it cover to cover and find it so interesting.”

We have recently witnessed how other minorities deal with even perceived danger aimed at their brothers and sisters. They respond in great numbers.

The Hebrew Academy students took part in all categories and used successful and innovative techniques to achieve their goals.

“The objective behind establishing small communities as places for relocation was a remedy for the excessive cost of housing and education in the large New York metropolitan market,” Mr. Savitsky explained.

Jewish Democrats did not entirely trust the son of Joseph Kennedy, a man broadly considered to be both anti-Semitic and pro-Nazi.

More Articles from Chayala Nachum
Teens-Twenties-logo

There’s so much he could do
Resources are not few
He refuses to end all
His SILENCE.

Teens-Twenties-logo

These monsters constantly attack
When we dare to try to fight back

This devastating loss
For weeks is the top news,
But the assassination of politicians
Is squeezed onto page two.

This Holy Day comes once a year
With prayers and begging and pleading and tears,

As they fall upon us we go
To the WALL.

Help me and the rest of them
Know what I really mean.

You’ve been taken from me my child
I’ve been alone for many years,
That you will never return
Is my deepest hidden fear.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/features/at-the-shushan-psychologist-tell-us-your-megillah-well-listen-to-every-word/2014/08/06/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: