web analytics
October 31, 2014 / 7 Heshvan, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
Meir Panim with Soldiers 5774 Roundup: Year of Relief and Service for Israel’s Needy

Meir Panim implements programs that serve Israel’s neediest populations with respect and dignity. Meir Panim also coordinated care packages for families in the South during the Gaza War.



Fostering a Positive Parent-Teen Relationship

Fostering-Parent-Oct-2013

In old dictionaries, one might still find the now obsolete term, “obligations.” This term was used to express the idea that people had duties and responsibilities towards society in general, towards others and towards themselves. Obligations towards society and others are now viewed as altruism at best and as stifling and overbearing at worst. As for obligations towards oneself, many people will have you believe that it is the cause for stress, anxiety, etc.

Nowadays, we have this remodeled human being who feels entitled to and expects everything from everyone, but will shun the idea of being obligated to do anything in return. It seems that along with the urbanization of Western society came the idea of self-entitlement and one-way streets.

In one Rosh Yeshiva’s words: “Children have to learn to do things because they are required to do so. Rewards are good for younger children, but there comes a time when kids have to move beyond that stage and do things because that is their obligation.”

Another side to the idea of obligations is that nowadays, parents are afraid to engage in true old-fashioned parenting. They believe that it’s all about being positive and nice to the children. There is this religious belief in the new commandment, “Honor thy son and thy daughter.” Parents have lost the confidence in imparting the message that their children need to do certain things simply because it has to be done. It may not always be convenient or comfortable, but it has to be done.

Can it be done? Yes, it can! Parents need to feel confident in their parenting role. Remember that it’s not so much their adolescent’s opposition that parents need to deal with; it’s their own discomfort with their parenting roles that hinder effective parental guidance. Children are obligated to listen to their parents, not vice-versa.

About the Author: Rabbi Langsam is a licensed mental health counselor with offices in Lakewood, Brooklyn, and Monsey. Rabbi Langsam works with adolescents in helping them overcome relationship issues with parents and peers and a variety of behavioral and mental health issues.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Fostering a Positive Parent-Teen Relationship”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Yehudah Glick on the Temple Mount.
Yehuda Glick’s Condition Stabilizing, “He Was Very Lucky” (1:00 PM)
Latest Sections Stories
Collecting-History-logo

Undoubtedly the greatest manifestation of his antipathy was his infamous declaration: “[Expletive] the Jews. They don’t vote for us anyway.”

West-Coast-logo

Chaplain Winkler along with the other OJCB chaplains work tirelessly on a daily basis to ensure that all of the Jewish prisoners religious needs are met.

Eller-103114-Busy-In-Brooklyn

“I work around the Jewish calendar, always trying to think of creative spins,” noted Chani.

“Without a high school diploma, you couldn’t work as a garbage collector in New York City; you couldn’t join the Air Force. Yet a quarter of our kids still walked out of high school and never came back.”
– Amanda Ridley

My mother-in-law is totally devoted to her daughters and their children. Her sons’ children on the other hand are treated like second-class citizens.

The Polin Museum of the History of Polish Jews is designed to tell the whole thousand-year story of the Jews in Poland.

Over the course of the next couple of weeks we were planning our daily schedule by the minute. At any second we would have to change our plans. It was understood by everyone on the bus that this was not the normal agenda for the summer, but we still managed to have a ridiculous amount […]

Avromi often put other people’s interests before his own: he would not defend people whom he believed were guilty (even if they were willing to pay him a lot of money).

The Presbyterian Church USA voted to divest from three companies that do business with Israel.

How can I help my wife learn to say “no,” and understand that her first priority must be her husband and family?

My eyes skimmed an article on page 1A. I was flabbergasted. I read the title again. Could it be? It had good news for the Miami Jewish community.

Students in early childhood, elementary, and middle school were treated to an array of hands-on projects to create sukkah decorations such as wind chimes, velvet posters, sand art, paper chains, and more.

More Articles from Rabbi Sheea Langsam
Fostering-Parent-Oct-2013

The collective conscious of our greater community seems to be suffering from a high degree of panic and anxiety in relation to the topic of “teens-at-risk.” Just bringing up this topic is enough to send people into semi-hysteria.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/health/fostering-a-positive-parent-teen-relationship/2013/10/17/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: