web analytics
September 16, 2014 / 21 Elul, 5774
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
Apartment 758x530 Africa-Israel at the Israel Real Estate Exhibition in New York

Africa Israel Residences, part of the Africa Israel Investments Group led by international businessman Lev Leviev, will present 7 leading projects on the The Israel Real Estate Exhibition in New York on Sep 14-15, 2014.



Fostering a Positive Parent-Teen Relationship

Fostering-Parent-Oct-2013

In old dictionaries, one might still find the now obsolete term, “obligations.” This term was used to express the idea that people had duties and responsibilities towards society in general, towards others and towards themselves. Obligations towards society and others are now viewed as altruism at best and as stifling and overbearing at worst. As for obligations towards oneself, many people will have you believe that it is the cause for stress, anxiety, etc.

Nowadays, we have this remodeled human being who feels entitled to and expects everything from everyone, but will shun the idea of being obligated to do anything in return. It seems that along with the urbanization of Western society came the idea of self-entitlement and one-way streets.

In one Rosh Yeshiva’s words: “Children have to learn to do things because they are required to do so. Rewards are good for younger children, but there comes a time when kids have to move beyond that stage and do things because that is their obligation.”

Another side to the idea of obligations is that nowadays, parents are afraid to engage in true old-fashioned parenting. They believe that it’s all about being positive and nice to the children. There is this religious belief in the new commandment, “Honor thy son and thy daughter.” Parents have lost the confidence in imparting the message that their children need to do certain things simply because it has to be done. It may not always be convenient or comfortable, but it has to be done.

Can it be done? Yes, it can! Parents need to feel confident in their parenting role. Remember that it’s not so much their adolescent’s opposition that parents need to deal with; it’s their own discomfort with their parenting roles that hinder effective parental guidance. Children are obligated to listen to their parents, not vice-versa.

About the Author: Rabbi Langsam is a licensed mental health counselor with offices in Lakewood, Brooklyn, and Monsey. Rabbi Langsam works with adolescents in helping them overcome relationship issues with parents and peers and a variety of behavioral and mental health issues.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Fostering a Positive Parent-Teen Relationship”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Kreshnik Berisha is not Jewish but played for a German soccer team - before joining ISIS.
German Man on Trial for ISIS Membership Played On Jewish Soccer Team
Latest Sections Stories
Ganz-091214-Fifty

Today, fifty years and six million (!) people later, Israel is truly a different world.

Goldberg-091214

There will always be items that don’t freeze well – salads and some rice- or potato-based dishes – so you need to leave time to prepare or cook them closer to Yom Tov and ensure there is enough room in the refrigerator to store them.

Women's under-trousers, Uzbekistan, early 20th century

In Uzbekistan, in the early twentieth century, it was the women who wore the pants.

Schonfeld-logo1

This is an important one in raising a mentsch (and maybe even in marrying off a mentsch! listening skills are on the top of the list when I do shidduch coaching).

While multitasking is not ideal, it is often necessary and unavoidable.

Maybe now that your kids are back in school, you should start cleaning for Pesach.

The interpreter was expected to be a talmid chacham himself and be able to also offer explanations and clarifications to the students.

“When Frank does something he does it well and you don’t have to worry about dotting the i’s or crossing the t’s.”

“On Sunday I was at the Kotel with the battalion and we said a prayer of thanks. In Gaza there were so many moments of death that I had to thank God that I’m alive. Only then did I realize how frightening it had been there.”

Neglect, indifference or criticism can break a person’s neshama.

It’s fair to say that we all know or have someone in our family who is divorced.

The assumption of a shared kinship is based on being part of the human race. Life is so much easier to figure out when everyone thinks the same way.

Various other learning opportunities will be offered to the community throughout the year.

The new group will also deliver kosher food to Jewish residents in non-kosher facilities, as well as to kosher facilities where the food is not up to par.

More Articles from Rabbi Sheea Langsam
Fostering-Parent-Oct-2013

The collective conscious of our greater community seems to be suffering from a high degree of panic and anxiety in relation to the topic of “teens-at-risk.” Just bringing up this topic is enough to send people into semi-hysteria.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/health/fostering-a-positive-parent-teen-relationship/2013/10/17/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: